Part 3
by SoulfullyInclined
Summary: 'Reunion', 'Part 2', Part 3. I don't own anyone. *Life and quality of the story depends on the reviews*. *Please Leave More Than A 2 Word Review*. *Please Review*. *Be Nice/Kind*. Edited.
1. Chapter 1011111111112222222222

**Tom**

It was the middle of the night. I heard something down the hall.

Beside me, Alexa was asleep. We'd gone back to her place after a few hours of being at mine. Fiona and Isabel knew we were here.

I moved in the bed and stood up.

"Honey I'll be right back ok?" I told my girlfriend.

She moved in her sleep. I bent down and kissed her forehead.

I left the room and made my way down the hall towards the sound.

When I got there I opened the doorway of Kate and Anna's room. Anna had left.

"Omygod," I whispered.

There sat Kate, bent over. She was vomiting blood onto her comforter.

I turned my head towards the hallway.

"Mr. fitzgerald! Evan! Get in here! Now!" I yelled.

I went over to Kate's bed and took off my black Led Zeppelin t shirt, revealing my bare chest. I pressed it against Kate's nose.


	2. Chapter 1022222222223333333333

**Jesse**

I was lying in bed when I heard Tom yell from down the hall.

"Mr. Fitzgerald! Evan! Get in here! Now!"

I got up and walked down the hall with my son following. We reached Kate's room in mere seconds.

When we got there, Kate sat on her bed, doubled over. Tom's shirt was pressed up against her nose. Blood was splattered on her comforter. I walked towards her bed, sat on it and wrapped her in my arms.

"Waste basket," Evan said.

I held Kate tightly trying to stop her from shivering.

"Dad!" Evan called to getmy attention.

I bent down and handed him the waste basket that was on Kate's carpet.

"Baby? Are you ok?" I asked Kate, knowing she wasn't and knowing she couldn't answer.

The thing was...I wanted her to be. I'd seen the same thing from my own sister.


	3. Chapter 103333333333344444444

**Evan**

Rebecca and id gone back to my place where wed slept. That morning Louisa had texted me telling me she didn't need a ride to school as shed get one from a friend of hers the same friend shed gone to watch the dvd w/ at said friends place. I was now at my parents. Rebecca was at mine.

I was in my room at my parents, lighting up. I sat on my bed and smoked. A long time ago my parents had warned me not to do this very thing in my room in their house. It was very quiet in the house.

"Evan!" Tom yelled down the long narrow thin hall.

Urgency was in his voice.

I got up from my bed and followed my dad down the hall.

"Evan. Put that out," my dad told me.

I stabbed it out on my arm. The skin burned, hissed and sizzled.

"You never said where," I pointed out.

"Now!" Tom yelled.

Within mere minutes Dad and I were in Kate's room. We went over to her bed, where Dad wrapped her in his arms. I was on the right side of Dad, Tom on the left. Blood painted Kate's beautiful big blue down comforter. I knew my mom, once we got Kate to the ER, would worry about getting the comforter dry cleaned since it was too big to fit in the white washing machine. Of course, with all the money Mom made from being a psychologist, she'd be able to afford this.

Tom's black Led Zeppelin t shirt was pressed up against Kate's nose.

I spotted the brown wicker waste basket on Kate's carpet.

"Waste basket," I said to Dad.

He lookat at me, completely dazed.

"Dad!" I called, to get his attention.

He handed me the waste basket, which I placed under Kate's bleeding face. My hand drifted up to her forehead. Without even feeling it I could tell she was hot, even though she was shivering in Dad's arms.

"We have to get her to the ER," I said.

"Now!" I commanded, when no one answered.

Louisa wandered into the room.

"Hey what's goin on?" she asked.

"We're taking Kate to the ER," I told her; "remember what Mom said?"

She nodded.


	4. Chapter 1044444444444555555555

**Karen**

I was asleep, lying in my big white bed next to Pam when a knock came on my tall wooden door.

"Mom?" Anna's voice asked.

"Mmmf," I moaned rolling over.

"Mom!" Anna yelled.

"What?" I answered.

"Katie's sick."

"Ok I'll be right there."

I got up, instantly charged with adrenaline. I knew something had to be really wrong because Anna didn't usually refer to Kate as 'Katie'.

I went across the room and opened the door.

"Where is she honey?" I asked Anna who was standing in the narrow carpeted hall.

"They're going to the ER."

"Oh, my god."

I walked quickly down the hall where I saw Kate in Jesses arms, shivering and bleeding.

"We're going to the ER," he informed me.

"Yeah I know Anna just told me. What happened?" I asked.

"She was coughing up blood when I got to her room. She's lost quite a bit of blood Mrs. Brewer," Tom told me.

"Shes burning up Mom," Evan added.

I thought of the blood spattered on Kate's comforter.

"Well have to get the comforter dry-cleaned," I muttered.

"Mom! Kate's going to the ER," Evan said.

It was only then that I noticed Tom's shirt was off.

"Tom where's your-oh."

He was pressing his shirt against my daughter's nose.

"She needs platelets," Evan told me.

I nodded.

And probably a blood cell count, considering she'd lost quite a bit of blood according to Tom.

"Mom?" Anna asked.

I looked down at my youngest.

"Yes honey?"

"Will I have to give Kate more blood?"

It was only then that I noticed Louisa was with Evan, Jesse and Tom.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey."


	5. Chapter 102

**Jesse**

After Karen left I made my way up the stairs, leaving Ashley to finish making breakfast. When I got to Lily's room I knocked on the door which, thanks to Karen, had been left open.

"Lily, honey?" I asked.

It was then that the smell of alcohol and vomit hit me.

"Oh jeez."

"Dad?" my drunken daughter asked.

"Yeah baby?"

"You're not going to make me go to school...are you?"

I came into her purple room and sat on her bed.

"No honey I'm not."

"Mom said I had to-" vomit spilled out of her mouth onto the beach towel; "go."

"Lily, your'e drunk. I don't think going to school, or anywhere, is going to help."

"I feel like hell."

"How much did you have to drink last night?" I asked, already knowing she'd had enough to get her drunk.

"Um, 6?"

"6 what?"

"Wine."

Oh god.

As in, 6 glasses of wine.

"We have to get you to the bathroom in case you get sick again. Cmon."

I bent down and helped her stand. We walked to the bathroom where she promptly passed out.

I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Ashley asked, looking up from the coffeemaker.

"Lily's drunk."

"Omygod," Hannah said.

"I have to get to the hospital but call me if something else happens," I said.

"Ok," Ashley said.

I left.


	6. Chapter 103

**Evan**

After Marie and I talked for about an hour, we split off in opposite directions. I went back to the hospital and was now in the waiting room with Dad.

"So, Lily's drunk," he told me.

"How much did she have to drink?" I asked.

"Apparently 6 glasses of wine."

"Oh jeez. How'd Mom take it?"

I knew 4 glasses was enough to get some women drunk which was why I had this reaction.

"Well, according to Lily, Karen told Lily she had to go to school. Then she left for work. I went up and told Lily she didn't have to go, then brought her into the bathroom where she promptly passed out. Again. Then I came here."

"Oh. Dad?" I said, looking at him.

"Yeah Evan?"

"When Kate and I were talking a few weeks ago, Kate told me Anna had come to her with several bruises on her arm, light blue."

"Yeah, the doctor also mentioned that."

"Do you think it's leukemia?"


	7. Chapter 104

"Lily, get up," I heard Mom say from my sister's room.

"I'm-" Lily began.

"I don't care."

"Karen, she's drunk," Dad pointed out.

"I don't care."

"You're really going to send her to school when she's drunk?"

"I don't have time for this."

"You never, have time for this. Or for anyone but Kate!" Ashley shouted.

She must've come into the room at some point.

"I'm a psychologist Ashley."

"Oh, and that's your excuse? That's not an excuse!"

"Ashley," Dad warned.

"Back when my mom was sick, before she died, she had plenty of time for me. Plenty. Of time."


	8. Chapter 1055555555566

**Lily**

Earlier that morning, when I'd woken up from being passed out, I promptly vomited into the white toilet.

"Lily?" Evan's voice asked.

"Huh?" I asked from my spot on the floor.

"Can I come in?"

"Uh huh."

He opened the white wooden door, carrying a cup of ginger ale. I had a sizeable headache and was dizzy and nauseous. The bathroom was white, cold and seemed much too bright.

"Could we kill the lights?" I asked.

Evan reached up and flicked the light switch off: "better?"

"Uh, no. Not really. Could I have some Advil?"

"Unfortunately Lily, I can't give it to you."

I felt too awful to try and make sense of this. I already knew I was drunk.

"You, have a hangover."

"My God is that what this is?" I asked, leaning over the toilet.

"Yeah. Trust me.

"So you're the expert on all things-" my insides were emptied into the toilet - "um."

I couldn't think.

"Alcoholic?" my brother suggested.

"Yeah."

"Yes Lily. I am. Don't worry you'll sober up. You just won't like it."

"Oh thanks, for that."

"Sorry, there's not much I can do. It takes 3 days to fully sober up."

"Damn."

I lied back down on the floor.

"You need to eat something though Lily. So you can get something else in your system besides alcohol."

I laughed, partially due to inebriation and partially because of how ironic this statement was, given Amanda was the one with the eating disorder.


	9. Chapter 101111111122222222

**Ashley**

After Dad told me about Mom, I gathered Hannah and Rose into the big white living room, interupting breakfast. They looked at me expectantly. In the kitchen the round clock ticked.

We sat on the white couch, my sisters on either side of me. Outside it was a beautiful day. Sunny and warm. The big house was quiet. Hannah was in black as usual. Rose was in green.

"What happened?" Hannah asked.

"Well...Dad just called."

"And?"

"Mom's been in a car accident."

"Oh, my god. What happened?" Rose asked.

"Apparently she was hit by a drunk driver this morning while driving to work."

"Is she ok?"

"They don't know. She was brought to the ER at St. Luke's."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah I know."

We sat there, digesting this.


	10. Chapter 10222222222233333

**ke**

The first time I saw Kate she was crying. She was one of the most beautiful creatures I'd ever laid my green eyes on. She was thin and bruised from her treatment. After a dose of more chemo the previous hour, Alice had sent me into a hospital room. I wandered in and climbed into a hospital bed, slightly off center.

I looked over and saw a thin young woman about my age, bald, in a white paper hospital gown lying in between the white sheets. Her left arm was hooked up to an IV. Tears were streaming out of her blue eyes and down her pale face. She's lucky it wasn't blood.

"Hey," I asked her; "you ok? What's wrong?"

"Well honestly everything."

I knew how that was.

"Just had a transfusion, huh?" I guessed, glancing at the IV.

"Well. Tried to."

It hadn't worked. Her body had rejected the transfusion and her sister's bone marrow, which I knew wasn't good.

"I'm sorry," she apologised, "you probably don't care."

I did. I cared so much about this girl who was hurt.

"I do, actually. I have nothing to but wait. I'm Jake," I told her.

"Kate. What are you in for?"

"This isn't prison Kate," I told her, trying to lighten the mood.

I was surprised to discover that my older brother Tom and her sister knew each other, and were apparently dating.

"Anyone ever told you you're beautiful Kate?" I asked her.

"I'm sick. How can sick be beautiful?"

"I don't see you as sick; I see you as a whole."

Which was true. There was so much more to her than just her disease.


	11. Chapter 105

_Kate_

_The reason I started to explain about Jason and I when Ashley walked in is bc I didn't want Ashley to assume there was more going on than there was._


	12. Chapter 21

_**Alexa**_

_I was standing at the doorway of Kate's hospital room. My boyfriend and a guy who looked like him but younger were talking. The guy was sitting in a hospital bed to the right of my sister's. My boyfriend was sitting in one to the left._

_"Tom?" I said._

_My boyfriend looked at me: "yeah baby?"_

_"I need to talk to you."_

_"Come in," Kate said from her bed._

_I came in and settled myself on the hospital bed, Tom's arms wrapped around me right below my chest._

_"What about?" he asked, kissing my neck._

_"My mom's been in a car accident."_

_"_Our_ mom," Kate corrected._

_"Oh. Right."_

_She leaned into the basin on her lap and vomited into it. The guy to her right slid his hands up and down her back. I wondered if the vomiting wasn't primarily due to Kate's leukemia this time._

_"I'm Jake, Tom's brother," the guy told me, once Kate had settled back against her pillows._

_"Hey, Alexa. Kate's sister."_

_"Older."_

_"Mmmhmm."_

_"Tom's the older one of our family."_

_I breathed in my boyfriend's arms._

_"I'm sorry hun. What happened?" he asked me._

_"It was right after she left for work this morning. She was hit by a drunk driver. She was brought to the ER at St. Luke's. They don't know anything yet."_

_"Wow." _

_"Yeah I know."_

**Please Review**


	13. Chapter 25

**Kate**

It was some time that day and I was awake. Alice had weighed me, discovering I was now down to 82 pounds. We went back to my room where she explained that my body had rejected the transfusion and the bone marrow Anna had given me a few weeks ago. I now had graft-versus-host, which would make me even sicker which meant I'd lose more weight than I already had. I was hooked up to an IV which was giving me corticosteroids in hopes that my body would reverse the effects.

I was lying in a hospital bed, thinking about all this, silent tears streaming down my face when a tall, bald guy in a white paper hospital gown wandered in. He looked to be about 15. He got in the empty hospital bed next to mine. He had dark green eyes.

"Hey," he said; "you ok? What's wrong?"

"Well honestly everything."

"Just had a transfusion huh?" he asked.

"Well, tried to, anyway. But my body rejected it. It also rejected the marrow my sister gave me. I'm sorry, you probably don't care."

"I do, actually. I have nothing to do but wait. I'm Jake by the way."

"Kate. What are you in for?"

He smiled; "this isn't prison Kate."

"Well. It might as well be with the way things have been going."

"Awww Kate."

He was so sweet.

"I'm in here for chemo," he answered.

"Oh. Yeah and I have graft-versus-host, too, apparently. I hate being sick."

"Yeah I know the feeling."

"So does Tom."

"Tom?" Jake questioned, raising what used to be his eyebrows.

"Yeah, my sister's boyfriend."

"No, I know who Tom is I was just surprised you did."

"Oh. How do you know him?"

"He's my brother."

"Really, no kidding."

"Yeah, small world huh?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Anyone ever told you you're beautiful, Kate?" Jake asked.

"I'm sick! How can sick be beautiful?"

"I don't see you as sick. I see you as a whole."

I started to cry even more. Jake glanced around.

I started to cry more because of this. His words meant a lot. He glanced around unsure of what to do.

"Alice you have any tissues?" he asked.

A minute later he handed me a box of tissues.

"Thanks," I said sniffling.

"Mmmhmm."

I yawned.

"Sorry. Is it ok if I sleep for a bit? I'm really tired."

"Sure take all the time you need. I'll be here Kate."

-XXX-

"Is she awake yet?" I heard Dad's voice ask.

"Kate?" Jake asked softly.

"Mmm?" I asked.

"Someone's here to see you."

"I'm Kate's dad," Dad told Jake.

"Oh. I'm Jake."

I opened my eyes and attemped to sit up, with Jake helping me.

"Hey Kate," Dad said, sitting on the hospital bed to the other side of me.

I looked at him.

"Honey," he began.

His voice was low.

"What?" I asked.

"Your mom's been in a car accident," he told me.

I sank back against the pillows, feeling the weight of his words.

"Omygod," I said, staring up at the ceiling.

"Is...?"

"They don't know," Dad answered.

"How could they not know?"

"Kate," Jake said gently, putting one arm behind my head and one on my hand, "sometimes they don't know."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Jake handed me a tissue.

"She's at the ER at St. Luke's. The ambulance brought her there," Dad told me.


	14. Chapter 26

After Evan left I sat there, crying.

"Oh Kate," Jake said.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked, turning to him.

"Well..."

"Who will be the one who takes charge around here?"

"Kate, your mom's not-"

"Well Dad just told me they don't know anything so she very well could be.

"Kate, we don't know that. You're making assumptions...assuming the worst."

"Oh, _I'm_ making assumptions? I have leukemia Jake!"

"Yes, I understand that."

"When you're sick near every damn day since you were 2...when your own _body _rejects your _own sibling's blood_...when you have GVH...you sort of have to assume the worst. My own aunt died from cancer when she was 16, Alexa's age. And if Mom...you know-"

Jake nodded.

"And Aunt Kate were here she'd...take charge. But she's not."

I ripped out my IV, spilling blood onto the white tile floor. Jake looked at me, shocked.

"Kate."

"No, Jake. What if I don't want to live? I'm going to die anyway we all know it. No one's been brave enough to say it yet though. They won't even tell Anna what's _really_ going on."

Instead of turning away from me or calling for Alice, who had left, Jake did the very thing I least expected him to. He took me in his arms and held me.


	15. Chapter 27

**Jesse**

I walked back down the hall and sat next to Evan, who looked at me expectently. I was trying to process the information Dr. Matthews had given me. Karen had been brought to the ER, so it had to have been pretty serious. I assumed Pam was at St. Luke's, probably in the waiting room, waiting. The irony was, it was a beautiful day outside. You don't expect such things to happen on beautiful days.

"Dad?" my son asked after awhile looking at me.

"Hmm? Oh."

"What's wrong?"

This was a question usually reserved for Kate or Amanda.

"Um, Evan."

"Yeah, Dad?"

We both knew I couldn't draw this out any further.

"Your mom's been in a car accident."

"Onygod. Where is she? What happened? Is she ok?"

"She's at St. Luke's, in the ER. She was hit by a drunk driver. They don't know."

"Oh. What about Marie?"

"What?" I asked, Marie the furthest thing from my mind.

"Marie," my son repeated; "she's been seing Mom and..."

"Oh. I don't know."


	16. Chapter 28

**Evan**

After I left Louisa's room I walked down the hall to where Rebecca was sitting in a comfortable blue chair. She was in white.

"Hi love," she greeted me looking at me.

"Hey," I said, sitting in a comfortable blue chair next to hers.

"How are you?"

"Um. My dad just told me my mom was in a car accident."

"Oh. Wow. Is she ok?"

Surprised.

The thing I'd come to notice about Rebecca was that she stayed calm when someone needed her to be. Which. I did.

"They don't know anything yet. She was brought to St. Luke's, the ER."

"Oh Evan. I'm sorry," she said.

I exhaled a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. These words meant something to me.

"Thanks. I'm scared she'll...and that Mandy and Kate will too. Even Louisa's starting to sink."

Die.

"I know, you mentioned that."

"Oh."

She hugged me and rubbed my back. I loved that I knew I could break in front of her when I couldn't break in front of anyone else.

"damnit i….," I swore; 'I want to set fire."

"I know you do but you don't need to you have me," she reminded me.

This struck me.

* * *

After Dad had told me about Mom's car accident I wandered into the room Louisa was in.

"Hey," I said, sitting down on a hospital bed.

She looked at me.

"How ya feelin?"

"A little better I guess. I drank all the water. Alice brought me some juice," my sister answered.

"The water?...ohhh."

She indicated the empty paper cup.

"I drank all the juice. It was cranberry."

I smiled, thinking of Mandy, who was upstairs. We always had cranberry juice on hand for her.

My sister looked at me, her eyes wandering my face.

"Evan. What's wrong?" she asked.

"What?" i replied.

"I can always tell."

Oh. Right. Just like Ashley, Louisa knew when something was wrong.

"Mom was in a car accident," I told my sister.

She said nothing, her face going blank.

"Louisa?" I asked softly.

She blinked back tears.

"I. Wow. What happened?" she asked.

"From my gatherings she was hit by a drunk driver on her way to work this morning. Dad just told me."

"Where is she?"

"The ambulance brought her to the ER at St. Luke's. They don't know anything yet."

"Oh."

"Are you ok?" I asked my sister.

"I'm just...in shock, I guess."

"Yeah, so'm I."

"And depressed. Really. Depressed."

I knew this was partially due to the alcohol.

"Yeah. It's the alcohol," I told her.

She leaned back against the pillows.

"I want another drink," she said.

"Louisa, they don't adminster drinks in hospitals," I told her.

She smiled slightly.

"And that's not going to help. Trust me."

I stood up and started walking out of the room, bumping into the large pillowy body of Alice.

"She doin ok?" Alice asked me.

"She's just in shock. And really depressed."

"Mmm. It's the alcohol."

"Yeah that's what I told her."

I turned and walked down the hall.

"Evan?" Alice called.

I turned and looked at her.

"I heard about what happened. I'm sorry," she told me.


	17. Chapter 30

**Louisa**

After Evan left Cherie walked back into the room.

"I want another drink," I said.

"That won't help," she said sitting the chair she'd been sitting in previously.

"Thanks. You're very helpful," I told her annoyed looking at her.

"Well what do you want me to say? I could lie to you."

"No that's ok."

"And I'm speaking from experience. I….I don't want you to end up like my mom."

"Oh Cherie. And so was he."

"He?"

"Oh my brother who you've not yet met."

"Oh."

"My, um. My mom was in a car accident."

"Oh. Wow. I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say. Ya know? What can ya do except be here."

"Yeah. I know. How'd it happen?"

"She was hit by a drunk driver. Damnit I want my razorblade."

She put her cold hands on my bare arms. It helped somehow. I breathed.

"Of course you do," she said, "that's what addicts do man. We run."

"Oh. Wow. How incredibly…."

"Profound?"

I nodded.

"Thanks."


	18. Chapter 31

**Jesse**

After I told my son what'd happened I walked down the hall to where Alexa and Tom were sitting, talking.

"Tom," I said.

He looked up.

"Hey Mr. Fitzgerald," he greeted me.

Alexa's eyes followed his gaze.

"Will you excuse us for a minute? I need to talk to my daughter alone."

He stood up and walked down the hall. I sat in the seat he'd been sitting in, next to my daughter.

"What is it Dad?" my daughter asked, her dark brown eyes looking at me.

"Alexa, honey, your mom's been in a car accident," I told her.

"Wha...what?" she stammered.

"It happened after she left for work. She was hit by a drunk driver."

"Is she ok?"

"They dont' know anything yet."

"Will she...?"

"We don't know honey. I'm sorry."

-XXX-

ter I told Alexa about Karen I walked down the hall and sat in a blue chair. I sat, there, digesting all the information I'd recently recieved. It was the first time I'd had to do so. The hall was white, long and quiet.

After Dr. Matthews had told me about Karen, and I called Ashley, I'd called Pan. When I told her she was very upset. Ashley got on the line and told me she'd drive Pam to St. Luke's, as Pam was clearly too upset to drive. I knew I'd have to let Mark, my friend from art school back in New York, know eventually. While there, he and Karen had spent quite a bit of time together and had gotten to know each other.

That was the last I'd heard of Karen.

When I told them, Kate and Alexa, they'd been shocked, as to be expected. Evan had been fairly stable, of course. I knew he'd tell Louisa about Karen.

Karen and I never married because, quite frankly she didn't swing that way. I understood why and was ok with this. A few weeks ago, Pam had moved into the house. After I'd told Karen about Marie, I'd sent Marie to Pam's, where Ashley had been spending a lot of her time.

It was hard, having another one of my daughters in the hospital.


	19. Chapter 32

I walked back into Kate's room and sat on the bed I'd previoiusly been sitting on. Jake had her in his arms.

"She ok?" I asked Jake, although the answer was pretty obvious.

"Hey Mr..." he said.

"Fitzgerald," I told him.

"Oh."

Kate sank back against her pillows with Jake's right arm over the top of her bald head. She looked up at the ceiling, unsuccessfully blinking back tears.

"Kate? Baby, are you ok?" I asked.

"No Dad-" she lurched forward and Jake placed a gray plastic bin on her lap, which she vomited into.

"Shhhh," Jake said, rubbing small circles on her back.

"Omygod," she whispered, coughing up blood.

I looked worriedly at my pale thin daughter.

Jake looked at me, worry in his green eyes.

'She's so sweet,' he mouthed.

'I know,' I mouthed back; 'she's beautiful'.

Jake nodded.

"No Dad," Kate said, turning to me, tears shining in her blue eyes, the exact same shade as my sister's, "I'm not ok. None of us are. I'm fukin sick can't you see that?"

I didn't reprimand my daughter on her swearing, just waited.

"I could die at any moment. Mom could die Amanda, could die. But no one's been-oh god."

She vomited into the bin again.

"Kate," I told her, leaning forward; "honey, I'm afraid of that too. And so's Evan."

"Evan?" Jake asked me.

"My son."

"Oh."

"But no one's been brave enough to say it, to talk about funeral plans for when it happens. Not _if_ Dad. _When_."

It was then I noticed her IV hanging, not inserted into her arm.

I bent down and picked it up.

"Al-" I started to call for Alice.

"No Dad," my daughter said.


	20. Chapter 33

**Tom**

I walked down the hall and into the room my brother Jake was in. He was in his hospital bed, holding Kate's hand. He looked up when I entered the room.

"Hey," I said softly.

The mood in the room was somber and panicked.

"Hey," Jake said.

Kate noticed me; "come in," she said, her voice foggy.

I came in and sat on the bed that was on the other side of my brother.

"How are you?" I asked my brother.

"A little sick."

"Yeah, chemo's a bitch man," I said, having gone through it myself.

"You're tellin me," he replied.

"I didn't know you were 2 were in the same room."

I indicated Kate.

"Yeah, I just came in a few hours ago. She's sweet," Jake told me.

"Yeah, she is."

I sighed and crossed my long, stretched out legs.

"I miss Mom," I said.

"Yeah. I do too," Jake said softly.

"With all this death around that's not that surprising," Kate said.

"Tom?" my girlfriend said from the doorway.

I looked up; "yeah baby?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Come in."

She did and settled into my arns.

"What about?" I asked her.

"My mom's been in a car accident."


	21. Chapter 34

Another abrupt, random chapter. The back story to this is that Nancy, Hannah and Karen haven't spoken in years because they were so upset about what went on with Karen in high school. This is the first they're hearing from any of their high school friends in years. Nancy and Hannah are now a couple living in London. This is also the first and only 3rd person chapter.

In their London flat Nancy checked her email.

"Omygod," she gasped.

"What?" her girlfriend Hannah asked.

"Come look."

Hannah got up off the bed and stood behind the computer chair. They both scanned the email addressed to them, Tom, Natalyia, David and the Cullens from their friend Evan. It informed them that a few weeks ago Karen had been in a car accident and was now in a coma.

"Wow," Hannah said.

"Yeah I know. Guess we shouldn't've split back then."

There was another email, telling them about Karen's daughters and son.


	22. Chapter 35

Marie followed me upstairs and into the bathroom where Rose and Lily were.

"Something feels weird," she said, settling down on the floor.

I resumed my spot on the edge of the tub.

"I know that's what I said," Rose said, from her spot against the door next to Marie.

"Evan," Marie said: "where's Mom?"

"My question exactly," Lily said from her spot on the floor.

The other weird thing was that they were home in the middle of the day, Lily because she was drunk. Dad was still at the hospital. We usually were at school.

"Evan. Where. Is. Mom," Rose repeated.

I said nothing, knowing if Ashley were here she'd say 'they're going to find out eventually', just as I had when Mom and I were arguing about telling Kate about her leukemia.

"Evan!" Marie yelled, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Um well..."

"Did something happen?" Lily asked.

All 3 of my 5 16 year old sisters, with the exception of Alexa and Hannah, already knew the answer.

"What happened?" Rose asked.

"Well. On her way to work she was in a car accident."


	23. Chapter 36

**Jesse**

I was sitting there, in the blue chair in the hallway, thinking about all this when a woman sat in the chair beside me. She had long, wavy medium brown hair and green eyes. She was wearing black strappy sandals and a long red dress with a v neckline and straps. She smelled like a perfume I couldn't place. I breathed in her scent and studied her curves, the movement of her body as she breathed. She was beautiful.

She noticed me staring.

"Hey," she said, her voice medium and smooth as caramel.

"Hi."

"I'm Jennifer."

"Jesse," I told her.

"Waiting for someone?"

I nodded; "yeah, my daughters, one of whom has leukemia."

"Ah my nephew has that. Who's your daughter?"

"Kate. Who's your nephew?" I asked.

"Jake. Oh, and Tom."

"Oh, I just met Jake. H'es sweet."

"Yeah, he is. You know Tom?"

I nodded; "yeah. He's dating my daughter Alexa."

"You married?" she asked, noticing there wasn't a wedding ring on any of my thick fingers.

"No but you are," I noted, seeing a thin gold band on her ring finger.

"Oh, I'm not, actually. I just wear this as a decoy."

"Oh."

She took the ring off.

"Hey listen, would you like some coffee?" she asked, standing.

"Yes, I would."


	24. Chapter 37

**Alexa**

After I was done telling Tom everything Kate started vomiting and shivering again.

I noticed the IV hanging, not in her arm.

"Kate, why in the hell did you do that?" I asked.

She looked up at me from her spot on the pillows, paling even more if that was possible.

"I don't want to do this any more Lexa," she told me.

"So, that's why you pulled it out?"

Being a high school student, I expected Jake and Tom to laugh at this innuendo, or at least smile. They didn't.

"Are you in any pain?" I asked.

"Yeah, a 6."

A long time ago we'd learned about the hospital's pain scale.

"Shit," I muttered.

I stood up.

"I'm going to get Alice," I announced.

"Lexa, I don't want-" Kate began.

I turned back for her; "no, not for the IV since you apparently don't want it plugged back in. For the vomiting and pain."

I walked out of the room and down the hall.

"Alice!" I called as I walked.

She came down the hall towards me.

"I'm right here honey," she told me; "Amanda was-"

"Kate's in pain, a 6. Why haven't you given her anything yet?"

"Alexa, I can't be in 2 places-" she began.

"She needs antimetics and naproxen and she needs them now. She's been vomiting every few minutes."

"Alrite I'm on it."

Naproxen was a painkiller.

We didn't know if Mom would live or how long she had, so someone had to take charge. Ashley was usually the one who did this and I didn't know where she was. Dad had told me I'd gotten his mom's take charge attitude. This meant I was next.

I made my way outside, sat down and took out my razorblade.


	25. Chapter 38

**Kate**

A tall brunette in a long red dress came into the room. She was wearing black strappy sandals. The dress was more of a red-orange color, with thick straps, a full skirt and plunging v neckline. Her hair was long, straight and medium brown.

She came over to Jake.

"Hey," she said.

They hugged.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing," she told him.

"Ok, a little sick," he replied.

She looked over at me and smiled.

"Hi," she said, "I'm Jake's aunt, Jennifer."

"Oh. Hi, I'm-" I began coughing.

Jake handed me a small cup of water, which I sipped.

"Kate," I said, when I was done coughing.

"Nice to meet you. How long have you known my nephew?" she asked.

"Oh, we just met," Jake told his aunt.

"Oh."

Jennifer sat down on the bed next to Jake. She looked over at Tom and Alexa.

"Hi Alexa," she said.

Alexa smiled; "Hi. Kate's my sister."

"Oh. Younger?"

Alexa nodded; "mmhmmm."

"I'm 13," I informed Jennifer.

"Oh."

"So how are you?" Tom asked his aunt.

"Ok. I met someone," she replied.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Jesse...Fitzgerald?, I think it is."

I swallowed: "you can't date him."

Jennifer looked at me; "Um. Why? He seems nice."

"I don't mean to be rude Ms..."

"Call me Jennifer."

"Oh. Jennifer, but he's my dad. And if you 2 date and then...you know."

It'd be awkward.

She nodded.


	26. Chapter 39

**Anna**

I was awake when Dad came in to my hospital room. He came in and sat on the hospital bed to the left of mine.

"Anna, honey," he said, "there's something I need to tell you."

The room was very still.

"Your mom's been in a car accident. They've taken her to the ER at St. Luke's."

I sank back against the pillows: "omygod."

"I'm sorry."


	27. Chapter 40

**Kate**

After Jennifer left, Alexa and Tom fell asleep, Alexa in his arms.

"So," Jake said, looking at me: "now that we're finally alone..."

He was saying he wanted to be intimate.

"Omygod. Kate," came a female voice.

We looked towards the doorway where my sister Ashley was standing

"We were just-" I started to explain but was interrupted by Ashley, who walked over to my unplugged IV, picked it up and held it between her thumb and index finger.

"Where's Alice? What the hell is this?" she asked.

"I don't know where Alice is. And that's an IV," I replied.

"We need to get Alice in here. And yes, I know this is an IV. Thank you Kate."

I said nothing.

"Um-" Jake began.

My sister threw a glance his way.

"My question, Kate, is what is it doing unplugged?"

"I..."

"Omygod. Kate. You didn't."

"Actually-"

"Why? Why the hell did you unplug it?"

"I don't want to do this any more. I'm tired of making everyone suffer."

"Yeah, but at least you get attention," she muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"I said-"

Now it was my turn to interrupt: "No, I heard you. Do _you_ want leukemia? Well. Your'e perfectly welcome to it."

"Do you, want to end up like Mom?"

"Ashley!"

"You keep this up Kate and...you will."

"Ashley. Attention can't be glorified."

"Oh, cant it?"

"It's about so much more than that."

"I'm going to find Alice."

"Ashley. ...you think I like all this attention?"

"Sure seems like it."

"If I didn't have cancer then maybe-"

"Kate," Jake began.

I held up my hand: "No Jake. Let me finish."

"...then maybe...Amanda could get the attention she deserves."

"Oh."

"You think I _like_ the-" I panicked, lurching forward. Jake put his hand on my back.

"Omygod," I whispered, as I leaned my head down and into the basin on my lap.

"Shhhh," Jake soothed, rubbing his flat hand up and down my back.

I vomited into the basin.

"Kate? Honey? You ok?" Ashley asked.

I sank back against the pillows. My sister looked at Jake; "when was the last time she got antimetics? Or naproxen?"

"A few hours ago. Alexa made sure of it."

"Ok. Kate, are you in any pain?" my sister asked.

I shook my head.

"Ok."

Then continued where I'd left off: "...the nausea, the bleeding? The vomiting, bruising?"

Ashley started out the door.

"Ashley," I said, my voice too low; "you can't _make_ me live."

She turned back around: "you know...you sound just like Amanda."

She left.

Her words ran through my mind, stopping in the middle of her sentence.

End up like?


	28. Chapter 41

**Kate**

"Wow," Jake said, when Ashley'd left.

"That, would be my sister," I informed him.

"I figured as much. Shes very, um."

"Angry?" I guessed, looking at him and raising what used to be my eyebrows.

"Well, I was going to say tempermental. But yeah, that works too."

"End up like," I murmured.

"Hmmm?"

"End up like...my...mother."

"Meaning?"

"_Meaning_. Something's happened."

"Ohhh."

I breathed in; "yeah."

"Who's Amanda?"

"Hmm?"

"Amanda."

"Oh. My sister."

"Oh."

I inhaled again. Jake came out of his hospital bed and slipped behind me. He ran his fingers along my backbones.

"That feels really weird," I said, nervously laughing.

"I know. It does on my end too. Shhh."

He brought his mouth down to my neck.

"Wow," he said.

There happened to be a bruise right where his mouth was.

"What?" I asked.

"Idinno. There's just...something about you."

I looked out the window and realised it was the middle of the day. When you've been in the hospital for as long as we have, you lose all sense of time; there aren't any clocks. It's a very bizarre feeling.

Jake's breath was warm on my skin.

"Jake?" I said.

"Yes, Kate?"

"I'm 13," I reminded him.

He must've moved his head because I could no longer feel his breath.


	29. Chapter 42

**Jesse**

I was sitting in the hallway. Jennifer had gone to talk to her nephews. We'd had a nice coffee together down in the cafeteria. Earlier, my son had called me, regarding dinner plans which, to be frank, were the furthest thing from my mind. He told me he'd make something.

He'd left and picked up Louisa's friends Pansy and Lauren, then apparently headed to our place, where Lily was. Ashley and Hannah had come about an hour ago, to the hospital. I'd called Mark and told him about Karen and he said he'd be on the next flight out. I knew Pam would tell Bobby, one of our friends from school.

Kate had woken up about an hour ago. Anna and Amanda were asleep. Other than Lily, everyone was here.

The doctors at St. Luke's had called Alice, who had told me they'd put Karen in a coma.

It suddenly dawned on me that the psychic we'd seen at the carnival had been right, about everything. Karen was 42 and relatively young; our daughter Lily had a cat by the name of Luna; Kate's leukemia had presented blood and many visits to the hospital whenever she got sick. Our daughter Rose had red hair. We'd brought Marie over from Paris. Amanda, with her eating disorder, had bones sticking out. Louisa had consumed alcohol last night. And Evan, just as I had when I was his age, had set many fires.

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that was definately true in our family.


	30. Chapter 43

Evan

I'd gone to the house than to the grocery store then back to the house then to the hospital where I now was.

* * *

After id gone grocery shopping I came back to the house put the groceries away and then went back to the hospital where I was now.

It was later that night. I was in Kate's room. Everyone else but her and I were asleep. Her IV was still unplugged.

"Katie," I said quietly; "why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm tired of waiting for something that's going to happen anyway. I'm tired of waiting to die. It's so exhausting."

"Don't you understand they're doing everything they can to help you _live_?"

"Well. What if I don't want them to? If Mom dies then I won't have a mother figure...we still haven't heard anything. Aunt Kate's dead and I wish _so damn badly_ I'd met her. I love Dad, you know that but with Mom..."

"It's different. Yeah I know."

"Maybe when I die Mandy can get better."

"Ohhh. Just like if I set enough fires you'll..."

"Not have cancer?"

"Yeah. Fire's hope, in a weird way."

"No, I get it."

"It's not so much that you don't want to die it's that you don't want to live like this."

"Well of course I don't want to live like this! Who in the hell would?"

-XXX-

Rebecca and id talked about Kate's and my's conversation regarding why shed pulled her iv out. Id told Rebecca I was frustrated and felt helpless and wanted to do more to help her. Rebecca pointed out that I couldn't make her want to live. She was right.


	31. Chapter 45

**Kate**

Evan and id talked about why id pulled my iv out. When he asked why id told him I didn't want to do it anymore that I was tired of waiting to die. I didn't and still don't like the uncertainty of knowing whether or not our mom will. Exit. I miss my aunt Kate. We share a connection; the cancer, the name….and a few other things. And. Besides tom, aunt kates the only other person ive known who had/has leukemia. I feel alone in this.


	32. Chapter 46

Ashley

Alexa and I felt as the 2 oldest women - lily, rose and alexa are all the same age but alexas the oldest of the 3 - in our family we have to take charge and make sure everyone gets what they need and sticks to their schedule which is why we confronted Kate about her iv being pulled out.


	33. Chapter 47

**Mandy**

I thought back to the conversation my dad and id had a few weeks ago. It was time for dinner. He came up to my room. Because of a relapse I couldn't breathe very well. This meant my heart wasn't getting the nutrients it needed. My dad told me I was having heart palpitations which confused me because my heart had been the same it always was. He got that this was confusing and frustrating. And frightening. He was frustrated that I hadn't eaten in so long. He told me I needed to eat something to which id said he couldn't make me eat. He wasn't going to let me do this to myself. He never said what I had to eat. When I first started not eating I'd had a choice. But that's the things with addictions is pretty soon they control you.


	34. Chapter 48

**11 p.m.**

* * *

**Evan**

When we opened the large white wooden front door both the big white living rooms and the big white foyer were lit. As we were entering Dad came down the wide white curving carpeted lit stairs.

"Hey," he greeted us.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," Rose said: "you're up kinda late."

"Yeah, couldn't sleep."

"Again?" I asked, as Rose threw her small rectangular black leather purse on the white couch of the living room behind us.

Dad continued down the stairs: "yeah again."

"You didn't get much sleep last night either," I recalled.

An occurance which had become common.

"How's Kate?" Dad asked when he'd reached us.

"She apparently has the flu."

"Again?"

"Yeah, she looked pretty awful when I went in," Rose informed Dad.

"How's Lily?" I asked, sitting down on the living room couch.

"A little better. You know that Mark's coming in a few days?"

I nodded: "yeah. I'm going to go grocery shopping tomorrow, since we apparently need more vodka sauce and cheese."

"Ok."

"Did we get the comforter taken care of?"

"Damnit. I completely forgot about that. I'll go to the dry cleaner's tomorrow. How's Amanda?"

"Still the same. She fell asleep after a few minutes," Rose reported.

"Oh."

Rose was the only one standing. Dad and I were sitting on the couch.

She stretched and yawned: "Well. I'm off to bed."

"Nite hun," Dad said.

"Night Rose," I said.

"Night," she said, and went upstairs.

"Long day huh?" Dad said.

"Ohhhhh yeah. Dad?"

"Yeah Evan?"

"Um, Louisa and I were talking earlier and she was wondering if her blood would be a match. Or Amanda's. For Kate. You know, if her body rejects mine."

"I don't know if Amanda's...if ...she's strong enough. As for Louisa, we'll have to bring her in to have a blood test. And I don't know when that's going to happen."

"Yeah, that's what I told her."

"Right now I'm just trying to deal with the news of your mom."

News?

"News?" I asked.

"Evan," Dad said, leaning forward and looking into my dark brown eyes which were the exact same shade as his.

"Yeah?"

"Things in Karen's brain aren't working the way they should."

"Oh."

The house was quiet. Everyone here and back at the hospital was asleep.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you go earlier?"

"Oh. Downtown."

"Oh."

He stood up: "you want some coffee?"

"No I'm good."

"Ok."

He left and went into the kitchen. I took my drawing pad and pencils out of my bag. I flipped to a drawing of Kate turning into a butterfly I'd started and continued drawing. The only sound in the house was the ticking of the kitchen clock and my pencil skimming across the page.

It had been a long day. And night. The sun had gone down around 5 and would rise at around 7 tomorrow morning. I knew the night would be even longer for Dad, since he hadn't gotten much sleep lately, ever since Mom had gone to the ER. I knew he was worried about Mandy and Kate and would be relieved when Kate would come home. I hadn't told him about Louisa's drinking; she hadn't wanted me too. I'd been in and out of the house all day and the only time I'd seen Rebecca had been at the hospital. Tomorrow, I'd go grocery shopping then to the hospital to see how Mandy and Kate were and then hopefully Rebecca and I would go to my place, where I hadn't been in awhile.

The smell of coffee reached me before Dad did.

He came into the room and sat beside me, setting the coffee on the coffee table. He sat back against the couch and watched me draw. The smell of coffee filled the air, the steam swirling up from the black liquid.

"That Kate?" Dad asked, after awhile.

I nodded.

"I'm hoping she'll finally see it. It's for her."

Dad knew what I meant.

"I'm giving it to her tomorrow, when I visit."

"Ok. She'll love it."

I smiled, knowing she would.

"Y'know...I used to draw when I was your age. I haven't, in awhile."

Dad made a living as an artist. Sometimes he went days, weeks without producing anything new.

"But maybe I'll take it up again, after seeing you draw. The last person I drew was your aunt. Kate" he meant my sister: "came in. We had a nice talk and she asked me to tell her the story about Pandora."

"She always liked that one," I recalled.

"Yeah. So did your aunt. That was before-" his voice cracked: "scuse me Evan."

He stood up and went into the kitchen, leaving his coffee on the table.


	35. Chapter 49

When I got back to my place that day Rebecca was in the living room. I came in closed and locked the door behind me and sat on the couch. She sat on me facing me her legs on either side of me. Which was difficult w/ her stomach in the way.

"what?" I asked.

She moved the coffee table out of the way w/ her feet.

"I want you," she told me running her fingers through my hair.

"uh ok. Condoms?" I asked.

"yeah. Well im prepared idinno about you."

"im. Not."

"ok well lemme get undressed and then you can get ready."

She stood turned and undressed letting me watch the show.


	36. Chapter 50

Alexa

After I got alice tom and I went into the hall. That was several hours ago.

Friday

It was now early Friday morning. The hospital was less busy this time of day.

I took tom by the hand.

"hey," I whispered, "lets go find an empty room."

"ok," he said.

We walked down the hall to an empty room. We went in and closed and locked the door behind us. I reached for the light switch.

"no. leave them off. Its more fun that way," tom told me.

I smiled in the darkness.

He pinned me against the door arms above my head and kissed me.

"youre right. It is more fun," I said.

"shhh."

He ran his nails up and down my arms.

"omygod," I said almost unable to stand it.

"it's the anticipation that gets ya."

"you sound like marie."


	37. Chapter 52

Jesse

It was 6 a.m. jennifer and I were lying in my big bed in my room. She rolled over and put her hand on my chest.

"mmm morning," she said.

Id lent her one of karens nightgowns a long thin black sleeveless one.

"morning," I replied.

"howd you sleep?"

"alrite and you?"

"ok."

She trailed her finger down my chest.

"its not even breakfast and youre not even warming up," I remarked.

She smiled; "uhm. But you want it to."

"we uh I have to make breakfast."

"by yourself? isn't it more fun when there'r 2, in the kitchen?"

"are we still talking about breakfast?" I asked getting up.

She pushed me back down; "what do you think?"

"I think that im gettin kindof hungry."

"youre not the only one."


	38. Chapter 53

Evan

I'd gone to my place for a few hours than to my parents' where I drove Ashley to the ballet school downtown then back to my parents'.


	39. Chapter 54

**Evan**

The next morning, when I woke up the second time, breakfast smells wafted up from the kitchen. I'd woken up a second time because the first time I woke up, I'd driven Ashley to her ballet class, which started at 5 that morning and went to 7. School was from 8 - 3. She had cheerleading from 3 - 4 and ballet from 5 -7 that night. This meant she'd miss dinner tonight. I'd gone to sleep at 10 last night and had woken up at 3:45 this morning then gone back to sleep from 4:45 to 7 this morning. I wasn't sure if she'd want me to pick her up from ballet tonight or not. This was often how it went.

Downstairs I heard Dad and a woman talking. I got up and went downstairs into the kitchen, remembering I had to go to the grocery store after breakfast which would take about an hour. Breakfast was from 7 - 8. After I went to the store I'd stop by here and drop the groceries off then go to the hospital to visit my sisters. That would take me untill around 11. I'd probably have lunch at some point. Maybe I'd have it with Rebecca.

That took me through half my day.

"Hey," Dad said when I entered the kitchen.

"Morning," the woman said.

She was standing at the black coffeemaker wearing a thick black robe. She had long straight medium brown hair.

"Hi," I said, taking a muffin from the metal tin that was on the counter.

"Lily up yet?" Dad asked me.

"No and neither is Louisa. Alexa spent the night at Tom's, Ashley's already at ballet."

Rose and Anna were at the round wooden kitchen table next to Dad. They were both in long sleeve black v necks rose in a long black skirt and anna in black pants.

"Wow. Sounds like you're pretty organized," the woman told me.

"Thanks," I said pulling out an uncomfortable wooden chair from the table and sitting in it.

"I'm Jennifer by the way," the woman told me.

"Oh. Evan."

"Nice to meet you."

"You get the comforter taken care of?" Rose asked, looking at me and jabbing a fork into her waffle.

"Um, actually..." I said, unwrapping my muffin and looking at Dad.

Rose followed my gaze.

"Oh, Jennifer was gonna do that."

"Oh."

"Hey, Rebecca might have dinner with us tonight," I told Dad.

"Ok that's fine."

He leaned back in his chair: "Lily, Louisa! Breakfast!" he called.

"Anna needs to go to the doctor," Dad said, to no one in particular.

A few minutes later Lily and Louisa walked into the kitchen.

"Hey can I come with you?" Rose asked me.

"Where?"

"Store."

"Ok."


	40. speaking of closets pretty blonde

**8 a.m.**

**Louisa**

After I walked into the kitchen Cherie followed. She'd slept over.

"Morning kitten," she said holding me and kissing me.

"Mmm morning. You smell nice," I told her kissing her back.

"Yeah I used your body wash."

"Oh that's fine. I notice you're also wearing one of my robes."

She was a yellow one. It looked very nice on her.

"Yeah well I didn't want to go digging through anyone else's closet."

"No it's fine. Again."

"And speaking of closets…who's this pretty blonde?" Evan asked.

We turned to him holding each other.

"Oh this is my girlfriend Cherie. We met at school. This is my brother Evan….sisters Rose and Anna. My dad. You've already met Lily. And I don't know who you are," I told Cherie.

She went and exchanged introductions w/ my family.

When I said 'I don't know who you are' I meant the brown haired woman.

"Hi I'm Jennifer a friend of your dad's," she told me.

"Oh ok. I'm Louisa."

"Hi nice to meet you."

"You too."

Cherie and Jennifer exchanged introductions.

"What's for breakfast?" Cherie asked.


	41. Chapter 56

After breakfast, Rose and I got into my black jeep. The morning was warm and sunny. It was 8.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked, turning the small metal key in the ignition.

We clicked our metal seatbelts on.

"Ok, and you?"

"Ok. I went to sleep around 10 last night and woke up at 3:45 to drive Ashley to ballet. Then came back here and slept untill 7."

"Wow."

"Yeah. It was interrupted."

The sleeping.

"Just like our lives."

I started the car and pulled out of the driveway. As I drove, I noticed Rose was wearing black dangly earrings.

"Did you get new earrings?" I asked.

"Yeah, yesterday. A woman at the mall gave them to me. Apparently she knows Aunt Kate and Dad. Or, _knew,_ Aunt Kate."

"That sounds weird," I said, as I waited to turn into the crowded street.

"Yeah, it kinda was."

"Whole Foods?" I asked, pulling into the black street.

"Yeah."

I drove.

"How come you wanted to come with me?"

She shrugged.

"Idinno. I'm still a bit shaken from last night."

"Mmmm."


	42. Chapter 57

**Rose**

After Evan dropped me off, he went to the hospital. Other than Anna, Kate, Amanda and Marie, my sisters were at school. Dad was still at the doctor's with Anna.

I was in the kitchen, putting away the groceries when the woman we'd met at breakfast, Jennifer, came in. She'd changed into a green dress.

"Hey," she said: "need any help?"

"No," I replied, opening the fridge and putting the green full plastic container of parmesan cheese on the white shelf inside the door.

"Ok. I'm Jennifer."

"Yeah I know. My brother met you at breakfast."

"Evan right?"

"Yeah. I'm Rose."

"Nice to meet you. Where you from?"

"London, originally. But I - excuse me."

"Sure."

I left the groceries on the round wooden kitchen table and went through the big white living room and out the big tall white wood door. Once outside I walked to the bus stop. I really wasn't comfortable going into the details of how or why I'd moved in.

It was bright, sunny and warm. After a few minutes the bus came. I got on and rode it to the mall.


	43. Chapter 58

**Evan**

After kate and I talked, the next day rose and I went grocery shopping then back to my parents. Then I dropped her off at the mall and pansy, Louisa and lauren to pansys. And now I was back at the hospital.

* * *

After I left the house I went to the hospital to visit Kate and Mandy. When I got to Kate's room she was sitting in her hospital bed sipping tea.

"Hey," Jake said, looking over at me.

"Hey," I sat down on the other bed.

Kate looked at me. She looked thin, tired, flushed and sad.

"He-" she began and then coughed.

I laid my hand on her forehead.

"Wow. Have they given her anything?" I asked, surprised.

She was warm.

"Yeah, Tylonel a few hours ago."

"Ok.

"Your hand is - " Kate coughed; "freezing."

"She said the same thing to me a few hours ago," Jake told me; "She's too sweet to go through any of this."

"I know. I know."

Kate managed a weak smile. She handed the tea to me. I put it on the bedside table.

"Rebecca back at your place?" Jake asked.

"Yeah."

Their voices reached us before they did. Steph, Serena and Ashley came into the room, Steph going over to Jake and Kate, Ashley and Serena sitting on the bed next to me.

"Hey. I'm Serena," she told me, sizing me up and smiling.

"I know. We met at dinner."

"Oh, so we did."

"Jake, how are you feeling? Any pain?" Steph asked Jake.

Serena leaned back leaning her head on Ashley's shoulder.

* * *

After I told my sister what'd happened I drove back to the hospital. I was now at the doorway of Mandy's room. Alice was in there opening the blinds. I knocked on the doorframe. Alice looked my way.

"Hey, she up yet?" I asked.

Alice walked over to Mandy's bed: "Amanda, honey, Evan's here to see you."

Mandy blinked open her blue eyes.

"Hey," she said when she saw me.

"Hi."

I made my way towards her thin narrow white hospital bed. Alice walked across the room to the doorway.

"I'm going to go check on Kate. How's your mom doing?" she asked.

"I haven't heard anything new," I said.

She left.

I sat on Mandy's bed.

"Hey how are you?" I asked.

"Tired. How are you?"

"Same."

"Oh."

I noticed there was an IV inserted into Mandy's arm.

"Kate took hers out," I said.

"Hmmm?"

"Kate took her IV out."

"Why?"

"She doesn't want to do this any more."

"Wow. So. Is she going to die? Soon, that is," Mandy dared to ask the question no one else would.

"I...Idinno. I hope not."

"Yeah," she sighed: "I hope not either."

"Did you hear about Mom?" I asked.

"No, what happened?"

"She was in a car accident."


	44. Chapter 60

**Mandy**

I was sitting in my hospital bed, crying and thinking about all that'd happened lately. We didn't know if my mom would make it and Kate had come down with the flu, which meant she'd be in the hospital at least another week. But she'd be home sooner than I would.

I hadn't eaten but had gotten my nutrients through an IV, which I was getting really tired of. Dad had told me that untill I started eating, I had to be hooked up to the IV. And as much as I didn't like it, I preferred the IV, since that was I didn't have to actually eat anything. It felt weird eating when Kate had been too sick too. She'd lost as much weight as I had. We both went into relapses but hers were purely physical, while mine were emotional as well as physical.

Earlier, Rose had brought me beautiful pink earrings she'd picked up at the department store. They were the color of rose quartz, a very light clear pink. I loved them. Evan had come and updated me, telling me that Mom was still at St. Luke's and Dad had been spending time with my sister Alexa's boyfriend's Tom's, aunt, Jennifer.

It wasn't fair; Kate got to be sick while I didn't. She had gotten attention from Mom, while I hadn't. And I didn't know if I'd ever be able to.

Back when my mom had been in high school, I knew she'd had eating issues as well. Had she not gotten into that car accident, she might've been able to help me, when she wasn't busy with Kate

* * *

-XXX-

A young woman Evan's age and my height walked into my hospital room. She was wearing a yellow dress and flats. She had light skin and long hair, in small waves, the kind that looks red in the sun. She came over and sat on the bed to the left of mine.

"Hi dear," she said.

"Hi."

"I'm Rebecca, Evan's girlfriend."

"Oh. I'm Amanda."

"I know, Evan's told me."

"Oh."

"How are you?"

"Ok I guess. I hate being in here though."

She smoothed the skirt of her dress: "yeah so does Kate."

"But at least she gets out."

"Mmmhmm."

"Everyone pays so much attention to her. Well, it was more my mom who did. My dad told me the only way I'll get out of here is if I eat. But it feels weird."

"Mmmhmm."


	45. Chapter 62

**Jake**

The sun was nearing its final moments of setting when a woman dressed in black with white skin and long dark hair entered the room. She went to Kate's bed and kissed her on the forehead then sat on the bed next to Kate's.

"Hey I'm Raven," she told me.

"Hey. Jake," I said.

She looked down at Kate then back at me. I noticed she had blue eyes the same shade as Kate's.

"How's she doin?" the woman asked me.

Kate stirred in her sleep.

"Are you an angel?" she muttered; "Aunt Kate?"

The woman laughed.

"No honey. I'm a friend of your dad's," she explained.

She had a nice smile.

"You have a nice smile," I told her.

"Thank you. Where ya from?"

"Here, and you?"

"Rhode Island, originally."

"Oh."

Steph, a nurse we knew, walked into the room.

"How she doin?" she asked me.

Alice had gone home for the night.

Kate moved, again: "Aunt Kate?"

"She's been talking about her aunt all day," I told Steph.

"Yeah, I know, Alice told me. She's probably delirious from the fever." She looked down at Kate: "are you in any pain hun?"

Kate nodded. Steph looked back at me: "what's the-"

"6," Kate said.

"Amazingly enough she can carry on a conversation in her sleep," I said.

Raven laughed.

"Alrite we'll have to bring those naproxen levels up," Steph muttered.

"I think it's something more," Raven mused.

"Hmmm?"

"Than the fever."

Steph looked down at her pager, which beeped.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. It's my daughter," she apologised.

"Ok," I said.


	46. looking for

**5 p.m.**

* * *

**Hannah**

It was 5 p.m. I'd already been working at the store for an hour. The sun was starting to set. I was shelving some books in the fiction section when a pale woman dressed in black with blue eyes and long straight black hair going down her back approached me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm looking for the adopting and parenting section," she told me.

"It's at the back of the store. See where the escalators are?"

She nodded; "yeah."

"Yeah it's right by there, by the children's section."

"Ok."

"My sister Alexa will be able to help you."

"Do you happen to know someone by the name of Fitzgerald?"

"Yeah...that's, my dad. Why?"

"Just wondering. Thanks for your help dear."

"You're welcome."

She walked off.


	47. bad time?

**11 p.m.**

**Jesse**

A few hours later, at 11, the doorbell rang. I was the only one awake. I was sitting in the big white living room, drinking coffee. I got up, went to the large white front door, unlocked and opened it. There stood Jennifer, dressed in the same thing she'd been dressed in a few hours ago at the hospital.

"Wow hi," I said, surprised to see her standing on my cement front step at this hour.

"Hey is this a bad time?" she asked.

"No. What are you doing here at this hour?" I asked her, stepping aside and holding the door open so she could come in: "and how'd you get my address?"

"I figured you could use some company. And Kate gave it to me."

"oh. Well, you're right. Please, come in. Would you like anything to drink? I have tea, coffee, water, wine."

I closed the door behind her after she stepped inside.

"Wine sounds great."

"Ok, red or white?"

"Red."

She followed me into the kitchen.

"What are you doing up so late?" she asked me, pulling out an uncomfortable wooden chair out from the round wooden kitchen table.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately," I told her, opening the fridge and spotting the half drank bottle of merlot.

"Oh? Why not?"

I took the bottle out and closed the fridge, then set the bottle on the counter: "Karen's in a coma."

"Karen?"

"This woman I live with. We're not married because she doesn't swing that way."

"Oh. Can I help with anything?"

Just listen, I thought. Be patient.

"Do you mean momentarily or in general?" I asked.

"Well, both. Either."

"Momentarily, no. In general, yes."

"Ok. What happened?"

"This morning - wow it's been a long day - Karen was in a car accident while leaving for work. She's a psychologist. She was brought to the ER at St. Luke's. They put her in a coma to help her brain get better."

"Right."

"Her girlfriend Pam was called. She's been over there ever since."

"Oh."

"They've recently updated me and told me -" I reached up and got 2 clear wine glasses out of the overhead wooden cabinet and set them on the counter next to the merlot- "that from their scans of her brain it's not working the way it should. We don't know how long she'll be in the hospital for."

"Oh."

"I've told my family all but this last bit. About 2 hours ago I told Evan that."

"He's the oldest."

"Right."

Evan was 18.

"Isn't that a little ironic?" Jennifer asked as I poured the wine.

"What?"

"A psychologist being in a car crash. I mean, usually they're the people you go to after something like that happens, to help deal with the emotions."

I smiled and brought the wine over to Jennifer: "you're right. Do you want to go into the living room?"

"Ok," she said, standing and taking the wine.

"Great house by the way," she said following me into the living room.

"Thanks."

We went into the living room and sat on the white couch next to each other. We set our glasses on the coffee table.

"Do you want me to get the coffee?" she asked, indicating the black coffee mug I'd left on the square black table.

"No it's fine."

"Ok.

She waited patiently for me to go on. It had stopped raining by that time.

"My daughter Lily woke up drunk this morning. She's feeling better now. Well, she's asleep. I told her she didn't have to go to school. Karen said she did."

"Well that was nice of you," Jennifer told me.

"Thanks. That was right before Karen left for work."

"Before the car crash."

"Yeah. Kate's apparently caught the flu...Amanda's still the same. Kate will be home before Amanda is though. And-" I suddenly realised I was rambling: "I'm sorry. You came over here and you probably want to talk. And here I am, prattling on about my life."

"Jesse," she said, leaning forward: "it's ok. I don't mind."

"Oh. It's just...I'm so used to taking care of everyone. I'm not used to someone actually listening to me."

"Well. I can help. Go on."

"Ok. Well, apparently my other daughter Marie's a prostitute. You know I used to be a cop right?"

Jennifer nodded.

"When I found her downtown in the 'meat district' I was very angry."

"Of course."

"So I sent her to Pam's. She's been there ever since. Karen was working with Marie but from what I know, they didn't get very far. Since the accident, though, I don't know what to do about Marie. She knows about Karen and Kate, how they're doing."

"Mmmhmm."

"I just...I don't know how to handle her. What to do...say."

"Mmmhmm."

"What would make my own daughter want to prostitute herself?"

"Well, from what you told me, she's from Paris."

"Right."

Jennifer picked up the wine and took a sip, as did I.

She leaned forward and looked at me, holding her glass, her arms over one another: "Did something happen to her? You know, sexually?"

"Oh jeez. I...I really don't know. I know, for awhile when Karen was younger, for a bit she was a prostitute."

"Mmmhmm. Apple, tree, Jesse."

I smiled.

"My son came to me the other day and said he and Kate were talking, and Kate told him Anna had come to her. She showed Kate some bruises. With all that's gone on lately I haven't had time to take her to the doctor."

"Right. How is Evan?"

"He's fairly stable. But he's scared. The day he, Rebecca and I went to his place, and Amanda was passed out in his bathroom, you know, from the not eating-"

Jennifer nodded.

"He was really scared. And I don't know if he'd always been and I'd never noticed it or what."

I sat back and put my right arm around the back of the couch.

"Oh, while you're here," I said, suddenly consciously aware of the fact that there was a female present who would know about such things.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Kate's comforter needs to go to the dry cleaner's tomorrow. And I have to make breakfast so..."

"Sure I'll take it."

"Ok I'll give you their card tomorrow."

"Ok."

She stood up and stretched. It was nearing midnight.

"Um. I'm getting really tired. Is there somewhere I can sleep?" she asked.

"My room ok?" I asked.

"Anywhere so long as it's comfortable. Oh, but I only brought this one change of clothes, so."

"I'm sure Karen has something you can wear."

"Ok."

* * *

Saturday

1 a.m.

Jennifer and I were lying in bed that morning when she woke up.

"cmon," she said sitting and taking my hand.

"what where we goin?" I asked.

She smiled at me over her shoulder; "you'll see."

"uh…ok."

I didn't know of any places that were open during this hour.

We stood and jennifer led me out the room out of the room through the living room and into the kitchen.

"youre uh hungry?" I asked.

She turned to face me her eyes sparkling; "yes."

"well lets see we have….pasta, beans, latkes, Indian…"

"no no."

She put me against a wall and kissed me. As she did so she ran her foot up and down my leg.

"oh. Wow," I said.

"told you I was hungry."

"yeah I guess so."


	48. Chapter 66

**Saturday**

* * *

**Kate**

It was the next day. I had the flu and was too sick to care about my IV being re-plugged into my arm. I'd been sleeping a lot more than usual because of the flu. I'd lost 10 more pounds. I'd be home the week after next. Id lost the weight bc of the flu.

After Rebecca and Evan had left, I slowly rolled over on my right side facing Jake's thin narrow white hospital bed and fell asleep. Several hours later I woke up in the same position.

"Hey," Jake said quietly when I awoke: "how are you?"

I coughed.

"Still sick I see."

I nodded.

His big cold hand laid itself on my forehead.

"Your hand is freezing," I whispered.

"No Kate, you're just hot."

I managed a weak smile.

"Are you in any pain?" he asked, peering into my blue eyes.

"Yeah, a 4."

He moved his hand beside him onto his bed.

"Ok let me know if it gets to a 6," he told me.

I nodded.

I was achy.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Well," I answered, "I'm still tired."

"That's because you have the flu."

Not only was I achy but my hip bones were prominent. My ribs hurt when I rolled over. Now I knew how Mandy felt.

I closed my eyes: "ow."

"Kate?" Jake asked.

"It's managable," I answered, about the pain.

The good thing was that I hadn't been vomiting as much.

"I feel so small," I said, meaning physically.

"Well. You are," Jake told me.

The room suddenly seemed very cold. I began shivering. Jake pushed a button to call the nurse.

Steph, a nurse we didn't know that well, came in.

"Hi hun," she said to me.

"She has the flu," Jake told Steph, looking up at her.

She nodded: "right, Alice told me. I'll get her more blankets."

"Ok."


	49. Chapter 67

**Jesse**

Jennifer and I were sitting in the big white living room that day, drinking black coffee. It was 4 p.m. After breakfast, she'd taken Kate's big blue down comforter to the dry cleaner's and I'd taken Anna to the doctor's, who told me she needed to see an oncologist. I'd brought Anna back to the big house after. Jennifer and I'd had lunch together then I'd sent a mass email to Karen's friends Natalie, Amanda, Brian, Christy, Alice, Edward and Tom, telling them what had happened with Karen. We knew them from high school. I'd sent the same email to Karen's brother David.

Also after breakfast, Evan and Rose'd gone to the grocery store. Evan dropped Rose off at the house and then left to go visit his sisters in the hospital. Kate'd become so sick that she was too sick to care whether she had her IV inserted or not, so Alice had plugged it back in, letting the corticosteroids go back in. Kate had been sleeping a lot more and would be home the week after next. At the hospital. Evan had his blood taken to see if it was a match for Anna's. We'd get the results in a few days.

The large tall white wood front door opened and Louisa and her friends Pansy and Lauren entered, along with Lauren's older sister Renee.

Jennifer and I turned our heads toward the girls.

"Hi honey," I said to my daughter.

"Hey."

"Pansy, Lauren, Renee," I greeted the girls.

"Hi Mr. Fitzgerald," Pansy said politely.

"Hi I'm Jennifer," Jennifer told the girls.

They introduced themselves and started to go upstairs.

"Louisa," I said, turning to the stairs.

She twisted around so she was facing me: "yeah Dad?"

"I need to talk to you."

"We'll be upstairs," Lauren said.

They headed upstairs while my daughter came into the living room.

"How was school?" I asked my daughter.

"Ok, nothing much happened."

"I'll get started on dinner," Jennifer said, standing.

She went into the kitchen.

Louisa came and sat on the white couch next to me.

"I took Anna to the doctor's today. He found some bruises on her during the examination," I told my daughter the news Evan already knew.

"Is it cancer?" Louisa asked.

"We're not sure. He gave me the number of an oncologist. I have to call and schedule an appointment. I haven't told Amanda yet."

She nodded.

"While at the hospital Evan had his blood taken to see if he'd be a match for Anna. We'll get the results in a few days."

"Ok. I guess Anna can't give Kate blood any more..." my daughter muttered.

If she's now sick.

"Oh. You're right."

"And if Evan's doesn't work for some reason, then that means I'll..." she was already ahead of me.

Need to give her some.

"You're right. Either that, or we can have a MUD."

A matched, unrelated donor for Anna.

"Right. Which would be someone who isn't biologically related," Louisa said.

"Yes. I'd ask Amanda but I don't think she's strong enough. Kate's coming home the week after next."

"She's not Dad."

"Oh."

"That it?" Louisa asked.

"Yeah. Dinner's in an hour. Pansy, Lauren and Renee can stay, if they want."

"Ok."

Louisa went upstairs.

* * *

-XXX-

It was 4:20 p.m. I stood up and went into the kitchen where Jennifer was fixing dinner. A large metal pot of water was boiling on the big white stove. She picked up thr long black pasta fork and stirred the pasta inside the pot then set the fork on the counter to the right of the stove.

"Hey," I said, coming in.

She turned from the stove: "hey."

"Rose home yet?"

"No."

"You seen Ashley?"

"No."

I leaned my head back: "Evan!" I called.

"Yeah Dad?" he called back from upstairs.

"Where's Ashley?"

"Oh, she's at a friends for the night."

"Oh."

I tipped my head straight and looked at Jennifer: "Mark's coming in a few hours. Evan's going to pick him up from the airport."

She nodded: "Ok."

"I'm going to visit Kate. And Amanda."

"Will you be home in time for dinner?"

"Yeah, probably. If I'm not, start without me."

"Ok."


	50. rockin boots

**Louisa**

Pansy, Lauren and Renee left after a very short period of time.

I heard big platform boots come down the thin narrow long upstairs hallway and into my room. It was Cherie. Mandy was still at the hospital so up untill now it was only me in the room. Cherie was in white the platform boots silver.

"Hey kitten," she greeted me approaching my bed, " your dad said I could stay for dinner."

She sat down on my bed next to me.

"Oh cool. Rockin boots," I told her looking at them.

"Thanks. They kill my feet though. Sometimes you have to suffer for beauty," she bent down and started unlacing them.

"Oh I know. I mean I don't know from my own experience but. From Mandy's."

"Mmm right. So what's new in your world?"

"Um well. We're not sure if Anna has cancer. And if she does then that means."

"She won't be able to give Kate blood."

"Right. So. Next in line is Evan. They took his blood at the hospital we'll get the results back in a few days. And if his doesn't work then."

"There's yours."

"Right. We'd ask Mandy but we don't think she's strong enough. Since you evidently have to weigh a certain amount to give blood which. We don't think she does."

"Right and to drive too."

The unlacing of her boots took several minutes.

"Shit," she muttered.

"Yeah what?" I asked.

"If it turns out that I'm a match I'm…gonna have to stop using. And I kindof don't want to."

"Yeah that's bc you're an addict."

"Yeah well so'r you."

"Yeah. I know."

I looked right at her; "I'll help you through it."

"Thanks. I'll need it."

"Yeah sure. I mean. you're my girlfriend and. I'm not gonna abandon you. Not now."

"Yeah. I know. You've kindof proven that. And for the record kitten I won't dese….deser…..abandon you either," she said stumbling over the word.

Her boots were unlaced and lying on the floor by my bed.

"Your feet still killin?" I asked glancing at the boots.

"Um. Yeah."

"Alrite give me your feet."

She set them in my lap without question. I started rubbing my hands over them.

"There better?"

"Yeah."

"So what's new in your corner of the ocean?" I asked.

"Marie and I had a big fight last night. Over the fact that she was never there. Just like our dad," she said softly.


	51. Chapter 69

**Jake**

Kate and I were awake and sitting in our thin narrow white hospital beds when her dad entered. He came over to us and sat down in the empty hospital bed to the left of his daughter.

"Hey Mr. Fitzgerald," I said.

"Hey Jake, how are you?" he asked.

"Alrite, and you?"

He sighed, an answer.

Kate handed her cup of tea to me and I put it on the nightstand between us.

"Hey baby," Mr. Fitzgerald said to his daughter.

She turned her head to him.

"Hi Dad," she whispered, and then coughed.

Mr. Fitzgerald looked over his daughter's head at me: "is she in any pain?"

I nodded: "yeah, a 4. I told her to let me know if it gets to a 6."

"Right, that's when the naproxen will be administered."

"Dad?" Kate said softly.

He turned back to his daughter: "yeah?"

"I've lost 10 pounds."

He inhaled, knowing what this meant.

"Well she's been sick so she hasn't exactly been up to eating," I explained.

Mr. Fitzgerald nodded.

"How's...how's Anna?" Kate managed.

"Well I took her to the doctor's today who told me Anna needed to see an oncologist."

"Oh."

Kate's small body rose and fell: "Who's going to give me blood then?"

"Well, Evan had his blood taken. We'll get the results back in a few days."

"Ok."

"Oh, Jennifer took your comforter to the dry cleaner's this morning."

That meant Mr. Fitzgerald and my aunt were still spending time together.

"It's nice to have another female in the house, around my age," Mr. Fitzgerald said.

"Mom's...?" Kate asked, wondering how she was.

"There hasn't been any change. I'm sorry honey."


	52. Chapter 70

**Week 3**

**Sunday Morning**

**7 a.m.**

**Ashley**

It was 7 a.m. the next day. I was walking down the narrow carpeted hallway of the 2nd floor of our big house.

"Louisa, breakfast!" I called.

Hannah, Lily and Dad were already downstairs.

"No," my sister's voice said from in her room which was behind me.

I turned back around.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm not going."

I walked into her room. she was sitting in her thin narrow bed the covers up to her waist.

"Louisa," I said: "you have to eat."

"No," she replied firmly.

"You'll be late."

"I don't care. I'm not going."

"You have to eat breakfast and you have to go to school."

"No. I don't."

"Now get up."

I went over to her bed and started pulling the covers back.

"Ashley. Stop, now."

"Well _someone_ has to."

"You're not Mom."

"You're right I'm not Mom. But I'm the closest thing you've got."

"I wish Mom were here."

"Well she's not. Now get-"

"Ashley!" I heard a voice down the hall call.

I turned my head and looked behind me.

"Coming!" I called back.

I left my sister's room and walked quickly into the cold white bathroom where Anna was. She had paled, although she was pale to begin with. There was dried blood on her neck.

"What did you do?" I demanded.

"Don't worry; I'm not-" she opened the white toilet and leaned forward but nothing came out - "like the others."

"Oh."

By this she meant inebriated. A cutter. Someone with eating issues.

"I'm sick," my sister told me.

"Did Dad take you to the doctor's?" I asked.

She nodded: "yeah, yesterday."

"What did the doctor say?"

"That I needed to see an oncologist."

"Oncology? But that's..."

Anna looked up at me from her spot on the white tile floor, her brown eyes wide: "yeah. I know."

-XXX-

Even though I myself had depression and had for quite some time I didn't understand why Louisa wouldn't do anything. Why she cut. Why she didn't want to go to school that day.


	53. don't want to

**Jesse**

I left the round wooden breakfast table and went upstairs and down the narrow carpeted hall to Louisa and Amanda's room where I knocked on the wooden door.

"Louisa?" I asked: "ok I come in?"

There wasn't an answer.

I turned the knob and opened the door. My daughter was sitting on her thin narrow bed the covers pulled up to her waist.

"I don't want to Dad," she told me.

She looked tired.

"Do what, honey?" I asked, approaching her bed.

"This."

She took her bare arms out from under the covers. On them were cuts.

"Katie's sick...she's losing more and weight...so's Mandy. Mom's...we don't know. And now Anna's sick. I need something to take it all away."

"Oh honey," I sat on her bed.

I examined her arms for any sign of infection. There wasn't any.

"How long?" I asked.

Downstairs, I heard my daughters, Evan, Rebecca, Jennifer and Mark talking.

"Since last year, when Mandy first got sick."

"Do you have-"

I noticed a thin small white container of Neosporin on the bedside table between the 2 beds.

"What?" my daughter asked.

"Nothing, never mind."

"No, really. What?"

"Neosporin."

"Um yeah it's right-" she followed my gaze: "oh."

"I don't want my whole world to disappear. Like Mandy. And Kate," she said.

They'd lost weight therefore disappearing.


	54. Chapter 72

**Evan**

After I went to the hospital I went back to the house where we had breakfast. Louisa hadn't come down for breakfast.

I went up the stairs and down the hall to Louisa and Mandy's room where I knocked on the door.

"Mmm?" my sister mumbled something inaudible.

"Hey can I come in?"

There wasn't an answer.

I went inside and approached her bed. She was sleeping. I had nothing else to do that day but wait for her to wake up. Yesterday she hadn't felt like going anywhere and was too sick too. I wondered if she'd drank last night and how much. The morning sun crept in through her window. I usually didn't have much to do during the day other than wait for something to happen. I knew Rebecca would take care of breakfast. After a very late dinner last night she and I had each had a glass of wine and then fell asleep in my bed. I woke up to the smell of her making breakfast, then we came over here.

No one knew where Dad was.

Maybe, as depressed as Louisa was, it was good for her to sleep.

I pulled out my phone, flipped it open and texted Ashley; 'hey where r u?'

'on the way to school' she texted back.

'ok' i sent; 'where were u last night?'

'serena's'

'oh'.

I flipped my phone closed and pulled out my sketchbook.


	55. not one time

**Louisa**

When I woke up Cherie was sitting on my bed.

"Hey kitten," she said leaning over me and kissing me as I'd been lying down.

"Hey," I said.

"I heard you didn't want to go to school today."

"Yeah from who?"

"Your brother."

"Oh. Yeah I've been. Depressed."

"Why?"

"I don't know but I don't think it's a one time thing. I mean I just. Get this feeling ya know?"

She nodded; "yeah I do and ya gotta go w/ that man."

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"Ok," she said softly calmly.

"It's too much to deal w/ I mean I just…I can't any more."

"You mean you don't want to."

"Says the druggie."

"Yeah well I'm speaking from experience."

"I mean. I don't wanna disappear. And my cuts-"

Which she'd set her warm hand on. It stung a little.

"-remind me I haven't. Mandy's been disappearing for a year. And Kate's….well. Her whole life. Unless she's in remission and then she falls back down again. It never freakin ends. I'm so tired of it."

"You do sound depressed," she said quietly.

"And besides the cuts you're the only one keeping me alive. I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you," I apologised.

She laughed a bit; "you're nowhere near as bad as my mom. Or Marie."

"Yeah but it. That still doesn't make it fair."

"What's fair these days? Ya know? I've never known fair."

"Yeah I. get it."

"And neither's your life."

She pushed her fingers slowly into my cuts. It hurt a bit when the heat seeped in. The recent cuts burned.

"Oh," I gasped.

"Hm?"

"The cuts. Hurt."

"It means that you're alive."

"Yeah it's. Conflicting."

"I know."

She took her fingers off my cuts and pulled me onto her.

"Thanks," I said.

"Sure. Did you put Neosporin on them?" she asked.

"Yeah. Always."

"Ok. I don't want you getting sick."

I smiled.

* * *

-XXX-

"Did I tell you what happened w/ Ashley?" I asked.

Who Cherie'd not yet met.

"No what?" she asked.

"She, came up here to tell me breakfast was ready. This was earlier."

"Mmmhmm."

"Well she told me I had to go to school."

"Like she didn't care."

"Yes exactly Cherie. Just like she didn't care. And she threw the covers back. I told her to stop. She went back downstairs after a few minutes."

"Shit man."

"Yeah I mean it was just."

"Unfavorable?"

"Yeah. A bit more than unfavorable."

"I'll defend you."

"No," I said, "I don't want you getting hurt."

"She'd hurt me?"

"Well….she's from Brooklyn and hasn't had the best upbringing so. There's no telling. Since Mom's not…"

"Yeah and neither have I."

"Cherie it's ok. I mean thank you but I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself. More."


	56. Marie: Downtown

**Marie**

I was downtown, as usual. I spent most of my days downtown. I rarely told people where I was going. That's why they never knew. Evan and I'd talked quite a few times although I didn't talk to the others much. Ever since the news of Mom's car accident I hadn't wanted to be at the house. Pam and Ashley had gotten into arguments with me. I'd been too depressed to do much of anything, cutting and smoking more each day. I'd grown angry and distant although I'd always been distant. I was too afraid of Dad to go back. So far, all he'd done was yell but that was only because Mom had been there. Now I wasn't sure what would happen.

Back when I was living in Paris, I'd wandered around the city, frequently stopping in bookstores and cafes untill nightfall. That was when I worked. As the days got shorter I worked more. I started working when I was 14. I was 16 now.

I was sitting at a cafe downtown, smoking, when a woman dressed in a black camisole, black jeans and black heels approached me. She had long black hair, white skin and blue eyes.

"Hey," she said.

"Bonjour," I replied.

"Mind if I sit?" she asked, indicating the chair in front of her.

"No, go ahead."

She pulled the wire chair back and sat in it.

"How much?" she asked.

"Hmmm?" I replied.

"For your services."

"Oh I do'nt usually work untill nightfall."

"Really?" she asked, disbelieving.

"Mmmhmm."

"Then why did I see you standing in the district the other day?"

I glanced around, prepared to leave.

"Don't worry," the woman said, placing her bare arms on the table and leaning forward: "I'm not a cop."

"Oh."

I relaxed a bit.

"I knew someone like you once. She worked in the district as well."

"Here?" I asked.

"No, New York."

"Oh, one of my sisters is from Brooklyn. She's 17."

"Mmm. What part of France are you from?"

"Paris."

"My friend knew someone who had leukemia, which is why she - my friend - was working in the district," the woman told me.

"Yeah, my sister has that."

"Kate?"

"Um. Yeah."

I wondered how she knew this.


	57. Weird Encounter

It was a few hours later. Evan was at his place, my sisters were at school and Dad, Jennifer and Mark were out. I'd left the house and gone to a nearby big green park. I was sitting in the geen grrass, drinking. Other than Evan and Mandy, no one in the family knew I drank. The day was warm and quiet.

I saw a woman my dad's age and height walk towards me. She had long dark hair, white skin and blue eyes.

Fearing she was a cop I started to put the mini liquor bottle in my small black leather purse.

"Oh don't worry," she said as she approached me, "I'm not a cop."

"Oh."

She looked down at my cuts.

"razor blade?" she asked.

"Um. Yeah."

I wondered what she wanted.

"Listen," she said: "I'm looking for someone by the name of Jesse Fitzgerald. Do you happen to know where he is?"

I looked up at her: "yeah. That's...my dad."


	58. Chapter 76

**Marie**

I loved her. I still do, even though she's ...dead. I still couldn't bring myself to say it. We were very close; more than just friends. A lot more. We were pretty intimate with each other, both physically and emotionally close. She was beautiful, had that sweet Southern sugar thing going on. She was good with the customers, as we called them. Very good. We all had our own techniques, mine being my Parisian charm. She'd died in the same way my mom had. I hadn't gone to Paris since.

First my mom, then Keisha...then Kate got sick, with Amanda next. Karen was in a car accident...and then, Anna. So many people had left me. Who'd be next?

The world's a terrifying place sometimes, in its uncertainty.


	59. Rebecca: Thoughts

**Rebecca**

Even after I'd quit prostitution I'd been living downtown in the same apartment building Marie and Keisha were living in. I was still considered part of the group. I'd seen him several times, sometimes downtown, sometimes driving, sometimes setting fires. He didn't notice me untill the one day when I stood in the prostitution line to get his attention. He picked me up and we drove to the park where he told me some about his family. I told him nothing about mine. I listened to him patiently as though I had all the time in the world which, I did. Further down the road I met his sisters Kate and Mandy, and his dad.


	60. Chapter 78

**Lily**

It was lunchtime. I was at the big green park across the street from the big tall red brick high school, the same school my mom had gone to. Up untill she was institutionalised, which was only a few months into her freshman year. Well, not my mom my adoptive mom. Karen. I didn't know much about my biological mom.

I was sitting under a tall brown tree a quiet breeze blowing. The day was warm and sunny. It was nice to be away from my family. The park was quiet. Due to its size, which was big, this made it more spread out than a smaller park would be, and therefore it was be quieter than a smaller park. I pulled out a mini bottle of merlot from my purse and unscrewed the cap, taking a drink. Along with the smell of leaves and grass I smelled something else, pink and sweet. It reminded me of bubblegum. I looked up through the brown branches of the tree and saw a young woman Kate's age sitting on a tree branch. She looked a lot like Kate, but taller and older.

"Kate?" I asked: "what are you doing out of the hospital?"

"Oh I'm not Kate. I mean, I am but-" she crouched down and jumped onto the grass.

"Be careful, you'll-" I began.

Amazingly enough she hadn't fallen. She landed gracefully on the ground.

"Fall?" she asked, looking at me.

"Um. Yeah."

"I didn't."

"I know. But you're..."

She was rippling. That was the only way to describe it. Her entire body was rippling.

"This is what we do dear, you should know that," she said, sitting next to me with her back against the tree, her legs crossed in front of her.

We?

"We?" I asked.

"Yes Lily. We."

"Oh."

My god.

I'd encountered a spirit.

"Aunt Kate?" I asked.

She just looked at me, her blue eyes smiling.

* * *

-XXX-

I started to get up because the alcohol was going to my head and I knew I couldn't stay in the park overnight, which was several hours from now. As soon as I got up I felt dizzier so I sat back down. Because of my period I often got sick.

"Hey," a voice asked; "you alrite?"

I looked up and saw Evan walking toward me.

"Hey," I said.

He repeated his question: "you alrite?"

"Um. I feel like hell."

"Yeah you look like hell."

I felt too crampy to be sarcastic.

"You want me to take you home?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Ok cmon."

He helped me stand and we walked to his parked black jeep. We got in and he started driving.

"Whatsup?" he asked.

"Cramps."

"Midol's in the glove box."

He rounded a corner.

"I can't," I said.

He glanced sideways at me: "um why?"

I took out the mini bottle and held it up to the rearview mirror then put it back in my purse.

"Oh."

"I have a massive headache."

"I'll get you some water when we get home," Evan told me.

I leaned my head back against the seat and turned it to look at my brother who had his eyes on the road: "I'm so sorry to make you do this."

"Hey I know what it's like."


	61. Chapter 79

**Evan**

It was 4, an hour before dinner. Lily and I were in her room sitting on her purple bed. As usual, music was playing.

"Long day?" she asked.

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah. How's Kate?"

"Still the same. Well. She's been sleeping a lot."

"Mmm. Amanda?"

"Same."

Lily's cat Luna wandered into the room and jumped on the bed.

"Dad's been spending a lot of time with Jennifer lately," Lily observed.

"I know."

"You think they're involved?"

"Maaybe, but that would be weird given Jennifer's Tom's aunt."

"Right."

My phone buzzed. I flipped it open. It was a text from Ashley. 'at a friend's for the night' it read. 'ok' i texted back. I sent the message and closed the phone.

The song ended and another one came on.

"Is this Ella?" I asked, vaguely recognizing the song.

Marie sometimes played Ella Fiitzgerald.

Lily nodded: "yeah, Marie gave it to me. How is she?"

"Um, angry."

"Mmm."

The only light on was the tall black floor lamp.

"So that's what a hangover feels like," Lily said.

"Yeah."

"Wow that sucks."

* * *

-XXX-

It was 4:30 that afternoon.

"I'm going to go downtown," I told Lily, getting up off her bed.

She shifted, letting Luna, who'd fallen asleep, that she wanted to leave: "Luna."

The cat stretched and Lily slowly put her on the bed between us.

"Can I come?" my sister asked, standing.

"Ok."

We headed out the room, down the hall, stairs and into the kitchen where Jennifer was. Anna and Hannah were in their rooms, Mandy, Kate and Dad were at the hospital, Alexa was with Tom and Louisa, Pansy, and Lauren were in Louisa and Mandy's room. Ashley was at a friend's for the night.

"Hey, Lily and I are going downtown. We'll pick Mark up in a few hours," I told Jennifer.

"Ok. Will you be home for dinner?" she asked.

"Not sure."

"Ok. Your dad's still at the hospital. I'll call either him or you if anything comes up."

"Ok."

We went out the kitchen foyer and front door and into my waiting jeep. We clicked on our seatbelts. I put the key in the ignition and backed out of the driveway.

"How've you been?" I asked Lily.

"Ok, I guess."

"Ever had alcohol before?"

"Yes, actually. I'm still a bit depressed. Getting kind of hungry though."

"Mmm."

I pulled into the street and started driving down the road.


	62. high kiss sex

**Louisa**

Cherie and I were at her place on the couch. Marie was off somewhere w/ her friends. Her mom the 'other Marie' as David had referred to her was either asleep or passed out in her room. So it was just Cherie and I.

Shed taken a few hits and was pretty high. I hadn't taken any. Wed moved the coffee table out of the way so she wouldn't trip over it.

"wow its so. Quiet," I observed, "I keep expecting someone to get sick. And then. Be rushed to the hospital followed by all of us."

"babe the only one who's going to get sick around here is my mom. And were sure as hell not going to the hospital."

"yeah I know its just. I don't think it's a good thing that im used to the crazy loud bc what am I gonna do when its quiet. Ya know?"

"what you're gonna do is kiss me."

"well someone's in a mood."

"well you've never been on drugs so you wouldn't know. What its like. But they leave you pretty damn electrified."

Wow.

"wow. That sounds weird and also amazing."

"yeah it pretty much is."

"so every fukin orgasm every touch taste is like….pretty damn amazing. God it makes sex great."

"our sex was pretty great."

"lets just say I know how to please."

I laughed; "yeah ya do."'

"now get over here."

She pulled me on top of her and attempted to kiss me. In the process we rolled off the sofa.

"ow fuk," she said landing on the floor.

Also in the process we hadn't let go of each other.

"you ok?" I asked.

Now she was on top of me. I brushed the hair back from her face.

"yeah I. think. I mean im a bit out of it."

She started giggling like crazy. Her pupils were huge.

"wow you're high," I said.

"it's the drugs man."

"yeah. I know."

I was enjoying this all too much.

I took her hair in my hands and pulled her toward me. I kissed her to shut her up.

The kiss was what they call a German kiss something Ashley had told me about. Its where you roll your tongue inside the persons mouth.

"omygod that is hot," Cherie told me.

"what the kiss or the other thing?" I asked.

"all of it."

"I just wanted to shut you up."

"uh huh," she said disbelievingly; "damn where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

"I asked Ashley for pointers."

"that was. Amazing."

She took me in her arms and bit my lower lip. It felt weird but also really good. My hips started moving against hers as if they had a mind of their own.

"that felt. A little weird," I said.

"yeah but good right?" Cherie asked as she moved her hips against mine.

"um. Yeah."

"well we know what someone wants."

"oh like you don't want it too."

She started giggling again looking at my chest.

"oh now what?"

"well um. I don't wanna embarrass you here but….your boobs are slightly bigger."

I giggled feeling her usually big but not huge boobs against mine.

"my boobs are bigger? Have you checked yours out recently bc…."

"have you?" she asked.

I looked down embarrassed.

"aw kitten its alrite. You're so cute when you're embarrassed. don't trip out man its supposed to happen."

"you're telling me not to trip out and you're the one whose high right now."

"yeah…..I know."

"you certainly know a lot about sex. And such," I remarked.


	63. Chapter 81

**Anna**

I'd just finished a flip on the beam when I wavered, moving back and forth. I landed on a large blue plastic mat on the floor.

"Anna," my coach said, coming over to me, leaning over me: "are you ok?"

A wave of tiredness washed over me.

"I'm just really tired," I replied

Her dark blue eyes wandered my face: "can you do one more?"

I sat up: "no. I don't think so."

"Ok. Your dad's waiting."

"Ok."

I stood up and went to the locker room where I changed and stuffed my gymnastics clothes into my bag. I walked out to the front entrance where my dad was waiting.

"Hey hun," he said: "how was it?"

"Ok I guess."

He opened the front door for me and we stepped outside into the waiting white van, the sunlight washing over us as we climbed in. We clipped on our seatbelts and I dropped my bag on the floor.

"You alrite?" Dad asked peering at me.

"I'm just really tired."

"Hungry?"

"No, not really."

"Oh. Ok."

I settled back against the passenger seat.

"I think I might just go to sleep when we get home," I said as Dad backed out of the parking space.

"You don't want dinner?"

"No. I haven't had much of an appetite lately."


	64. Chapter 82

Ashley, Evan, Rebecca, Lily, Louisa, Dad, Mark, Jennifer, Ashley's friend Serena and I were sitting in the dining room. A large bowl of mac and cheese was in the middle of the table. Mark was dads friend from college.

"Where's Anna?" Ashley asked.

"Sleeping. Said she didn't want dinner," Dad replied.

"Oh. Well that's unusual."

Anna usually had quite an appetite by the time she was done with gymnastics.

"Louisa, you're not eating," Lily observed.

"Yeah I'm not feeling that well."

"Cramps?"

"Um. Yeah."

"Hey, anyone seen Rose?" Dad asked.

"No, haven't seen her all day," Evan replied.

"Hey something weird happened today," Lily told Dad, turning to him.

"Weird? For you?" Evan asked.

Lily was a bit eccentric so her using the term 'weird' to describe something was news to us.

"Oh?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, I saw Aunt Kate."

This wasn't the first time Lily had seen a spirit.

"Omygod," Ashley whispered.

Silence fell over the whole table.

"You...how was she?" Dad asked quietly.

"Oh, fine. She looked older. Immediatly recognized me though. She was...nice."


	65. Evan: Louisa

**Evan**

After dinner, Dad took off. I drove Lily downtown and Serena and Ashley drove to the hospital then back to the house. I was sitting in Louisa's room.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey, you alrite?" I asked.

"No. Not really."

"What's wrong?"

"I just feel generally awful. God. I hate PMS."

"Ohh. Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe. I'll let you know."

"Ok."

"So," I said, leaning against the wall.

"Oh, so something weird happened today. Something else," my sister said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah this random woman came up to me when I was in the park and asked if I'd seen Dad."

"Was anyone with her?"'

"No, just her. Well actually she asked if I'd seen Jesse Fitzgerald at which point I told her he was my dad."

"Wow that's weird."

"Yeah it kinda was."

* * *

-XXX-

t was several hours later. Rebecca and I were at my place sitting on my couch. I'd dropped Rose and the groceries off at Mom and Dad's, then headed to the hospital where I showed Kate the drawing. She loved it, just as I knew she would.

Rose had been right last night; Kate _did_ look pretty awful. She was flushed and shivering. She'd been sleeping more than usual because she was so tired from being sick, both from her leukemia and having the flu on top of that. I knew by next week Kate would've recovered from the flu but not from her leukemia. Even when she'd been in remission, after awhile, she'd get nauseous again and start vomiting. It never ended. Her body, as I knew by now, couldn't fight off infections so they just had to wait it out. Jennifer had taken the comforter to the dry cleaner's and Dad had taken Anna to the doctor's to find out if, in fact, she had the early stages of leukemia.

"Whatcha thinkin about?" Rebecca asked me

Her soft head was on my shoulder.

"My family."

As usual.

"Mmmm. Anything new?"

"No, not really. Well actually there is something."

"Oh?"

"According to what Dad told me last night from what the doctors told him about their brain scans, Mom's brain isn't working the way it should."

"Meaning?"

"We're not really sure."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Kate's still sick. I couldn't stay long because she's been so tired lately."

"Mmm. Yeah, I stayed there all last night," Rebecca informed me.

"Dad took Anna to the doctor's to find out if she has the early stages of leukemia. Did I tell you that she came to Kate with blue bruises in a line on her arm?"

"No, you didn't, when was this?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Oh. When's Kate getting out?"

"Week after next, probably."

"wow."

We sat there in the quiet.

"what?" I asked after awhile.

"you go through a lot," she said.

"yeah…yeah I do. Thanks for staying with kate."

"oh of course."


	66. drugs juice heat

**Louisa**

Evan had left going to Rebecca's. I was in my room on my bed a bit crampy w/ my feet up on the wall when Cherie walked in dressed in red. She was holding something in her hand and a glass of cranberry juice.

"hey kitten," she said plopping on my bed.

I turned my head and looked at her; "ug. Hi."

"I brought ya something. Its gonna help and so'm I."

"drugs?" I asked.

"not my kind of drugs but yeah."

She helped me sit.

"here," she said putting whatever it was she was holding in my hand.

She closed her fingers around them. Them bc there were 2 of them. 2 small white pills.

"its just Midol," she told me.

"oh. Ok," I said relieved.

I put them in my mouth and drank the juice swallowing both. I tried to put the glass on the nightstand but couldn't quite reach. Cherie took it from me and set it there.

I lied back down.

"there," she said.

"thanks."

"sure."

She lifted my shirt and put her warm hands on my stomach.

"wow your hands are warm," I said surprised.

"yeah ive heard heat helps w/. cramps," she told me.

The heat seeped onto my stomach and through the pain.

"so how are ya?" she asked.

"ug. Periods kill," I replied.

"yeah man I know. However. You still get yours."

"what and you don't?"

"im not talking about me."

"oh. Dinners in an hour im pretty sure you can stay."

"yeah I already cleared it w/ your dad."

"ok. If im even hungry," I said annoyed, "but ive been too nauseous to eat so. Well see. God I feel fat."

"yeah. I get it."

"and this isn't helping my depression any cuz of the stupid hormonal shifts."

"you're so lucky you're not pregnant. it's a lot worse than this."

"hm."

"y'know. If you're nauseous you should lie on your um. Side. So you don't end up like Hendrix," Cherie told me helping me move onto my side.

She lied down next to me.

"what happened to him?" I asked.

"he, choked to death on his own vomit," she replied.

"that sounds terrible."

"yeah. Exactly."


	67. Chapter 85

Louisa

After I got my period Ashley would get hers, then alexa, then Hannah, rose, lily, marie and back to me again


	68. Chapter 86

**Hannah**

Our house was crowded and there was always something going on. Several times a week Kate would get sick. Sometimes it was enough to send her to the hospital. We never knew when it was going to happen but its unpredictability was predictable, in a weird way. Before her car accident Mom worked all day at her office. She usually came home at 5, right when dinner was. But sometimes she stayed untill 6.

We always had breakfast at 7. Breakfast and dinner were different times, depending on the season. In the spring and summer, when the weather got warmer and the days grew lighter and longer we had the 2 meals later, whenever the sun came up and set.

Dad stayed home all day, sometimes working. Marie was one of the most physically distant of my siblings. We rarely knew where she was. Evan spent a lot of time at his place, and Alexa had been spending more time with Tom. Lately Rose had been spending less time at the house. Ashley had her ballet and cheerleading and left before we woke up, sometimes not coming home untill around 8. Anna had her ice hockey untill the spring and gymnastics untill the summer. We went to bed at 9 but not necessarily to sleep. Lily, Louisa, Kate and I were the few members who didn't have a lot to do after or before school, Kate because she was sick. On the weekends I worked at a bookstore.

Out of the members in the family Evan and I were the only ones who drove, with the exception of Dad. I knew Mom, before the accident, was frustrated she couldn't help Amanda. But at her age, Amanda didn't talk to a lot of people. So it wasn't likely she'd talk to mom.

It was always expected that, because of Kate's leukemia, other plans would be cancelled. If Mom or Dad were at the hospital Evan or I would pick up our sisters from school or their other activities.

A few weeks ago Ashley'd had a concert. But it was, of course, interrupted by Kate's having to be rushed to the hospital.


	69. Chapter 87

It was lunchtime. I was at my locker. A few feet away a group of young women from cheerleading were talking.

"Omygod. I broke a nail," Lea said.

"Jason still hasn't asked me out," Jessica added.

"My cheerleading skirt doesn't fit any more," Serena said.

"My nail polish chipped," Abby said.

"I still haven't turned in the homework," Daisy said.

The more I listened to them talk the more annoyed I became. My own sister had leukemeia and couldn't go to school because of it, missing a fair amount. And these girls were worried about things such as broken nails, being asked out, cheerleading skirts, nail polish and homework?

I turned from my locker and walked over to them.

"Yeah?" Lea asked, looking up from studying her nails.

"Y'know," I said: "some of us have real problems. Actual, problems."

"Oh yeah. Your sister's sick," Jessica said.

"Yes and she's missed a fair amount of school because of it."


	70. Meeting Serena

**Saturday**

**Ashley**

I was at school, sitting in the big green park across from the big tall red brick high school. The day was warm, bright and sunny. The wind blew through the trees. The smell of pine was in the air. It was lunchtime.

"Hey," a female voice said.

I looked up and saw Serena standing by me. She was wearing a cute, 50's, black-and-white polka dotted full skirt, black tights, black flats and a white camisole.

"Hey," I said.

"ok if I sit?" she asked.

I shrugged.

"Cute skirt," I told her as she sat by me.

"Thanks. Where ya from?" she asked.

"New York."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Which part?"

"Brooklyn but I was born in Georgia. You?"

"New York as well, Manhattan."

"Oh."

"Hey, listen Ashley," she said, leaning forward and locking her arms around her knees.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'm sorry about what the cheerleaders said at lunch the other day. They're not the most understanding group of women."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"Anyway, what are you doing after school?" she asked.

"Um, well, cheerleading and then ballet from ?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over. I could pick you up after ballet."

"Ok."

"What's your cell?"

We exchanged cell numbers.

* * *

-XXX-

When Serena and I got to the hospital we went into a patient room Steph and a young woman Kate's age were in. Steph was a nurse our family knew. The girl, like Kate, was hooked up to an IV, lying in a hospital bed.

"Hi Mom," Serena said.

Steph looked at us: "hi honey. Hi Ashley."

"Hi," I said.

"How is she?" Serena asked her mom.

"Really tired. She's lost weight."

"Mmm."

"How's Kate?" I asked.

"She has the flu. She's been sleeping a lot more. I gave her more naproxen before I came in here. Her pain level's a 6. The good thing is she hasn't been vomiting as much. Alice went home for the night."

"Oh."

Over the past year Kate had lost significant amounts of weight when she relapsedand then gained it back again. And then lost it.

"I'm Sierra," the woman in the bed told me.

"Hey. Ashley," I said.

It was hours later, 7:40 that night. Serena had just pulled her white car into the driveway of her large white house, me in the passenger seat.

"And here we are," she said, putting her key in the ignition and turning the car off.

She opened the door and got out, waiting for me to. I leaned down and picked up the large purple duffel bag I brought with me to ballet each time I went, opened the door and got out of the car, closing the door behind me. Serena got out as well. She pushed a button on her car keys and the locks in the car clicked closed.

The night was dark and cold. I followed Serena into her large white house. She closed and locked the front door behind us. The porch light was on.

"I'll be right back," she told me; "you want anything to eat?"

"Um."

"There might be some pasta in the fridge, I'll check. Make yourself comfortable."

"Ok."

She wandered off.

In front of us and to the left, where the stairs were in our house, was the fireplace room. There was a big fireplace built into the wall. In front of it, a few feet was a low rectangular coffee table and behind the coffee table was a white couch and some chairs. Opposite the room from the fireplace was a wall with a large aquarium built into it. On the other side of that wall was what I presumed to be the kitchen, with a door in between the aquarium wall and another wall. There was also a large wall near the end of the large room, with a sliding white wood door in the middle of it, split in 2. The house was warm and very quiet.

Above the fireplace on the mantle were several items, 4 of which were glass. One was a butterfly and one was a rose. 2 were lilies, one a calla.

In between cheerleading and ballet I'd stopped at the coffee shop and had gotten something to eat but hadn't eaten since, so I was pretty hungry.

I set my duffel bag, school bag and purse on the wooden floor of the foyer, which was similar to ours.

The house smelled like new carpet.

I wondered where Serena had gone.

It was weird, being in a house this quiet. Usually my house was filled with people. The only time it was relatively quiet was at night. But at any given moment we knew either Kate or Amanda might have to go to the hospital.

"Hey," Serena said from somewhere behind me.

I jumped a bit: "Oh."

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," she sat down right on the white carpet; "you're welcome to sit down."

I sat down on the carpet beside her. She smelled like lilies.

"It smells like new carpet," I told her.

"Yeah well, we just had new carpet put in," she replied.

"Oh. Wow it's so...strangely...quiet."

She leaned forward and looked at me: "your place isn't?"

"No. The only time it's quiet is at night."

"Oh."

I glanced at the glass objects on the mantle: "I like the art."

"Thanks. My sister made the butterfly and the lilies during her dialysis sessions. My mom made the rose."

"They _made_ those?"

She nodded.

"Wow. What about your dad?"

"Oh, my parents are divorced and we don't get to see him that often."

"Oh. What does your mom do?" I asked.

"She's a nurse at Stoneubrook General. And yours?"

"Um..."

She looked closer at me, waiting.

"She, used to be a psychologist."

"Oh. And your dad?"

"Is an artist."

"Cool."

I thought back to Serena's dialysis remark.

"So she has cancer," I remarked: "your sister."

"Yeah, AML."

"So does mine."

"Oh. You hungry?"

"Yeah."

We stood up and went into the large kitchen.

* * *

-XXX-

The kitchen was large, wooden and granite. Serena went over to the large metal fridge and pulled it open. Her long wavy blonde hair spilled down her back.

"Oh, we do have pasta," she muttered, closing the fridge.

She brought out 2 white bowls of pasta covered with shower caps and set them on the gray granite counter next to the fridge. She pulled the shower cap off one and stuck the bowl in the white microwave.

"You want anything to drink?" she asked me: "we have wine, 7 Up, juice, lemonade, tea, water, hot chocolate."

"Is it cranberry juice?" I asked.

"Yeah, want some?"

"No, we just always have cranberry juice on hand for Amanda."

"Oh."

"And 7 Up, for Kate."

"Oh."

"Water's good," I said.

"VitaminWater ok?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She pulled 2 bottles of VitaminWater out of the fridge and handed one to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"We have 2 bottles of 7 Up. One's for Sierra and one's for Mom and I," she told me.

"Sierra's your sister?"

"Mmmhmm. Amanda's yours?"

"Yeah. Well, one of them."

"Mmm. How many siblings do you have?"

"Several."

"Wow. Kate's the one with AML?"

"Uh huh."

The bowl turned in the microwave, whirring. The cabinets were of a medium wood.

"When was she diagnosed?" I asked Serena, of Sierra.

"10 months. And Kate?"

"2 years."

* * *

-XXX-

It was the night I'd gone over to Serena's.

Serena set her bottle of VitaminWater on the counter and came over to me.

"Hi," she said softly, coming up behind me and brushing my hair over one shoulder.

She put her lips to my exposed skin.

I brought my hands behind me and started unbuttoning her shirt.

"You smell good," she told me, moving her mouth along my neck.

"Thank you," I said working the buttons.

The house had gone quiet, the microwave stopping.

"Should we get that?" I asked.

"Um. for dinner?" she returned, winding her arm around my waist.

"Yeah what were you thinking?"

"Sex."

I laughed; "honey there are much better ways to get your-"

"I know. We can always reheat it even though. I just did."

"No I'm hungry. Let's eat now."

"Ok."

She detached herself from me, put on oven mitts, took the bowl out of the microwave and set it on the counter while she put another one in and set the time.

"Ok if I eat in the living room?" I asked, picking up the bowl.

"Yeah long as you're careful," she replied.

"Ok."

I went into the living room.


	71. Chapter 90

Evan

After I'd gone to my place where Rebecca was, we'd stayed there for a few hours. Then I'd gone to my parents' and was now at the airport.

* * *

I'd found a parking spot at the airport. I parked and my sisters and I got out of the jeep. It was around 6:40. The sun had set and the night was cold. Marie, Lily and I walked through the automatic doors of the entrance and into the large crowded airport. I flipped my phone open and dialed the number my dad had given me, for Mark dads friend from college.

"Hello?" a male voice asked.

"Yes, is this Mark?" I asked.

"Yeah, is this Evan?"

"Yeah, where are you?"

"Baggage claim."

"Ok we'll be there in a few."

We hung up.

My dad must've given Mark my cell number.

We made our way to the baggage claim, where we stopped at a crowded gray carousel. My phone buzzed.

"Yeah?" I asked, flipping it open.

"Hey, are you at the baggage claim?" he asked.

"Yeah, which one are you by?"

"4, and you?"

"5."

"Ok."

We hung up. My sisters looked at me expectantly.

"He's at 4," I told them.

"It's right behind us," Marie informed me.

"Oh," I said, turning around.

We went over and stood next to a guy my dad's height, wearing black pants and a green shirt. He was about my dad's age, with dark hair. Bags rolled by on the carousel.

"Waiting for someone?" Marie asked him.

"Yes, and you?" he asked her.

"Sort of."

I knew she was thinking of him as her next customer.

The guy looked at me: "hey, you must be Evan."

"Yes, and you are?"

"I'm Mark."

"Oh, hey!"

I helped him get his black suitcase off the carousel.

"And these are my sisters, Marie and Lily," I introduced.

"Hello," Marie said at the same time Lily said "hi."

"Hey, nice to meet you," Mark said as we walked away from the baggage carousels.

"And you as well," said Marie.

"How was your flight?" I asked.

"Ok. Hey, have you guys had dinner yet?"

"No, actually."

My phone buzzed: "yeah?"

"Hi, where are you?" Rebecca's voice asked.

"Airport, picking up Dad's friend. I should be back in about an hour or so."

"Ok."

"Bye hun."

"Bye."

We hung up.

"Who was that?" Mark asked, looking at me.

"Girlfriend."

"She's lovely," Marie informed him.


	72. Jesse: Mark

**Jesse**

It was around 8:40 that night when our front door opened and Lily, Marie, Evan and Mark entered. Mark wheeled his suitcase to the right side of the doorway. I stood up.

"Hey, I have to get to Rebecca," Evan told me.

I wondered why.

"Ok."

He left. My daughters went upstairs. I crossed the room to Mark and we hugged in an awkward guy hug then we went and sat in the living room.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," Mark said.

"How was your flight?" I asked.

"Ok. We had dinner at the airport hope you don't mind," he answered.

"Oh no that's fine."

"Marie's such a charmer."

"Yeah, she's...she can be."

"She talked quite a bit during dinner."

Marie? Talkative?

Then I put 2 and 2 together.

"Oh. You must be her next customer," I realised.

"Customer?" Mark asked, turning to me.

"Um. Never mind."

"Ok. Hey, guess who I ran into the other day?"

"Who?"

"Lacy."

"Really, no kidding."

"Yeah."

"Wow, I haven't seen her in ages," I said.

"Yeah she's as beautiful as ever. Makes house calls now."

She'd gone from working in the district back in high school and college to making house calls.

"Wow. How've you been?" I asked.

"Ok. Busy, but not too busy. Hey, I have a gallery in Boston."

He made a living as an artist.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like to see it sometime. Oh but Idinno if we can..."

"Right, because of Kate," Mark said.

I nodded: "Yeah. Alexa's from Boston."

"Your other daughter?"

"Yeah. Well. One of them."

"How's Kate doing?"

"Well. Still sick. I mean she's always been sick but right now she has the flu. She should be home the week after next. Do you have kids?"

"Right. And no. I'm not married, either. You know how it is. How's Karen?"

"That I do."

Over the years Mark and I had discussed the fact that if he ever married he'd be busy all the time with his art, which would be difficult for whoever he married.

"Still the same. Her girlfriend's over at the hospital and has been ever since."

"Jeez I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Evan's been pretty good at keeping things organized here but-"

"It's never easy."

"No. It's not."


	73. Chapter 95555555555

I'd left to get away. After dinner I'd gotten in my car and driven off. Mark was right; it wasn't easy, It was a little weird seeing him after all these years of not. Now that Karen was in a coma and we didn't know how long she had I knew Mark and Karen had gotten to know each other over time even going out. Wed never told Hannah this but she wasn't actually Karen and my daughter. She was Mark and Karnes. But since they our family already had enough going on with Amanda, Kate and Karen being in the hospital and Anna now sick we didn't think it the best time to. Although she second guessed it at the time Mark and Karen had fallen in love. Shed been pregnant with Hannah but soon had to be sent to the institution. And my mom had sent Hannah to live with someone she knew, but whom Id never met. After getting out of the institution Karen went and lived in Paris, where she worked in the Moulin Rouge, making enough money to support herself. While there I visited her and we met Michelle and Marie.

After Paris, Karen traveled quite a bit, to Florida, where she lived for a few years. We met up and went to London, where we met Emerald. Then to Boston, where we met Fred, Alexas brother. We ended up back in Connecticut, where we were living now.


	74. Chapter 83

**Hannah**

I was in the big white living room on the big white couch drawing a picture of Greece when Mark my dads friend from college walked in from the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to me.

"Hi," I replied, my long dark hair falling past my shoulders.

"Wow."

"Yeah I love Greece."

"Me too. Ever been?"

"No but I've always wanted to go."

"Same."

"I was thinking of going there for college but what with Anna being sick I don't know if I'll be able to," I said.

My pencil skimmed across the page, shading the buildings where the shadows would be from the sun.

"Yeah I know what that's like," Mark said; "When Jes- um, when your dad and I were in college he had to rush back here to take care of your grandmother."

My pencil landed on the page; "wow. What happened?"

"She, um, took sleeping pills."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah I know. After your aunt died she wasn't the same."


	75. Chapter 84

**Sunday**

**Marie**

It was the next day. Rebecca and I were in the big green park downtown. I was smoking. It was raining. We were both in black.

"I miss her too love," she said, gazing off into the distance.

"Who?"

"Keisha."

"Oh."

"I know how close you 2 were."

"Yeah, we were...um."

"Involved?" she asked, turning her head to me and raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Involved."

"Did you guys have sex?"

"What?"

"I said, did you guys..."

"That's not...possible."

"Yes it is you just can't get pregnant," Rebecca informed me.

"Oh. Well...yes."

"Wow."

"I'm a hooker so obviously I'm not a virgin."

"Yeah love so was I. A hooker, that is. And then I met your brother."

Who'd changed that.

She smiled. It was then that I noticed how gorgeous she was.

"Wow," I breathed.

But I knew she was with Evan. I couldn't and wouldn't do that to either of them.

"It... my mom," I said, thinking about my mom.

"I know Marie. I know."

"I'm just...I'm afraid."

"Of? Your dad?"

"Well, that too. Of...for, my sisters."

"Ah. Mandy and Kate."

"That they'll, you know."

End up dying.

"Mmm, that I do."

"Believe it or not there's something you can do."

I raised my eyes in surprise; "there is?"

"Yes."


	76. Chapter 8555555555555555

**Ashley**

It was lunchtime. I was sitting against the school building, checking my texts. The rain fell in front of me from the archway overhanging. The day had grown cold and gray.

**'hey darling', **read a text from my best friend Lily.

Even just reading her text I teared up. We'd been best friends for years. She was originally from Ireland but had moved to California and then New York.

I sniffed and pushed the 1 on my keypad, dialing Lily's number. Rain fell from the building and tears fell from my eyes.

"Hi darling," she answered.

I sniffed some more. She waited.

"I...Lily, I..." I managed.

"You want me to come there?"

I nodded, realising she couldn't see me nod.

"Ok. I will soon as possible."

"Ok."

"You're not made of granite sweethart. It's ok to let your gaurd down sometimes," my best friend told me.

This, of course, only made me cry more.

"But I have to go now, as I'm at school. I'll talk to you later," she informed me.

"Oh ok. As am I."

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We hung up.

I put my phone beside me, not really caring that lunch hour was almost ending and that I'd have to be back in class soon. I was so tired. I'd recently lost the role of Mina's best friend in the ballet school's production of Dracula because I'd missed class so much.

I lied down on the steps, pulling my long black wool coat over me and went to sleep.


	77. Chapter 86666666666

_Louisa and I were in her and Mandy's room, talking. It was 1:20 in the afternoon._

_"How ya doin?" I asked her casually._

_"A little better. I'm actually getting kind of hungry," she replied, smiling._

_"Dinner will help."_

_"Long day huh?"_

_"Yeah. Definately."_

_We were sitting on her bed, our backs against the wall._

_"Do we know how long it will be?" Louisa asked._

_"For?"_

_"Amanda."_

_This was the first time in awhile she hadn't referred to her twin as 'Mandy'. She was wondering both if I knew when Mandy would be out and her recovery time._

_"No," I sighed: "it could take weeks Louisa."_

_"But...even after she gets out of the hospital...it'll be her decision to eat. Or not eat. Recover. Or..." she swallowed: "not."_

_"You're right."_

_"With Kate, she doesn't have a choice. She hasn't since she was 2."_

_"Yeah, but Louisa," I said, leaning forward and looking into her blue eyes: "after awhile, Mandy won't either."_

_"Yeah and that's what scares me. They say it's fear that motivates us...but will it be enough to motivate her_?"

"Idinno sweetie. I really don't know."

She bent her knees up by her chest, her arms wrapped around them.

"Evan?" she asked, resting her blonde head on her knees.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think my blood would work? Or Mandy's? For Kate."

I sighed, my chest rising and falling.

"Louisa, given that you still have alcohol in your system, I don't think so."

"But what about when I sober up?"

"Louisa. That takes 3 days."

"Oh."

"I know," I said, sensing her disappointment.

"What about Amandas'?"

"I don't know if...I...I don't honestly know if she's strong enough right now."


	78. Chapter 8777777777777

**Louisa**

After evan left to go pick up Ashley cherie walked in. she was in black.

"hey kitten," sje said.

I was curled up on my bed.

"hi," I replied.

"whats wrong?" she asked sitting down behind me on my bed.

that's right. She was becoming as perceptive as mandy evan Ashley and I were.

She ran her fingers up and down my back over my shirt. I unfurled a bit.

"im so scared."

"shit why?"

"for….mandy. And kate. Katell be home before mandy though."

"mmmhmm."

"but I mean. what if none of our bloods enough? A match? And from what I know youre still using so Im not sure what were gonna do there."

Behind me I heard her sigh.

"im trying to quit," she said pausing laying her hand on my back.

"I know. Im not telling you what to do. It just. Well I would help."

"yeah I know."

"evan said we don't know when mandyll be home. It could take weeks. And now we know shes not strong enough to give kate blood. She doesn't seem particularly strong anyway."

Cherie lied down behind me on the bed and took me in her hands.

"yeah man I know. I know what its like to be scared. Every damn day marie and I are scared for mom. That shell end up. You know."

I nodded.

"in the hospital w/ alcohol poisoning. it's a lot to put up w/."

"yeah it is exactly. that's exactly it."


	79. Chapter 88

**Ashley**

"Ashley?" a male voice asked.

"Huh?" I asked, blinking myself awake.

I started to sit up, pained from sleeping on the stone steps.

"Ouch," I said, sitting.

"You must be freezing," the guy said.

I turned and realised it was Evan.

"Yeah, I am," I told him.

"Wanna go to my car?" he asked, helping me stand.

"Ok."

We stood. He took off the long wool overcoat our dad had given him and wrapped it around my shoulders, on top of my own.

"What happened?" he asked, opening an umbrella as we walked.

"I fell asleep. And what a fall it was."

We laughed.

"Yeah, I know that. You were asleep when I found you."

"What time is it?" I asked

"3."

"Damn."

"Yeah, the sun'll be down in an hour. My car's warm."

"Howd you know I'd be here?"

"Well Ashley, 1, school was still in session during the middle of the day..."

"Oh, that's right."

"And 2. You know me."

"Right."

Evan was very perceptive and often knew when 1 of us wasn't ok.

"You could use sleep," he told me.

"The both of us could."

"Yeah, well."

"Evan. You're not made of granite," I told him, repeating the exact words Lily'd told me earlier.

"Neither are you hun. Neither are you."

"That's what Lily told me."

"Oh," Evan said, getting it.

I suddenly felt warmer, and not just because of the coats.

"Wow," I whispered, surprised even though this was what Evan did.

'this' being suddenly giving off body heat whenever someone was cold.

"Yeah that was me," Evan answered me.

"Yeah. I know."

"How's Angela?" he asked, referring to my 3 year old daughter who was staying with Lily.

"Idinno, I didn't get a chance to ask."

"Oh. She comin here? Lily, I mean."

"Yeah. Soon as she can."

"Ok. I'd love to see her again. She's a lot like Rebecca."

"Yeah, she is."

"And how're Rena, Scarlet and Miranda?" Evan asked me, referring to my 3 friends who were in New York.

"Dinno."

"Oh."

"How's everyone?" I asked.

Evan turned and looked at me. By this time, we were across the school lawn.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Hows'...?" I repeated, stepping off the curb and into the street.

"Ashley," Evan said, his voice low.

We crossed the street.

"I'm...um, I'm..."

"Not made of granite?"

"Yes. Exactly. I'm still knackered."

Knackered being exhautsed, a word I'd picked up from Lily.

"Mmm."

He handed me the carton of ciggerettes and his zippo.

"Thanks," I said.

"Mmhm. I got a bottle of raspberry vodka in the car."

"How'd...?" I asked, looking at him.

"It's just been one of those days. for me too."

"Oh. Right. You're good at that."

"Yes Yes I am."

We crossed the lawn of the park to his car. He opened the door for me and went over to the driver's side, opening the door for himself.

We got inside; he closed the doors, locked them and turned on the heater, which roared to life.

He reached down and picked up the bottle of raspberry vodka from the car floor with one hand while filling the car with the music of Billie Holiday with the other.

"Omygod," I said, leaning back against the seat.

Evan sat up, unscrewing the bottle. He held out his hand and I handed him his zippo, which he took. I blew out my ciggerette. He poured the vodka into the 2 plastic cups that were in the cupholders, then put the cap back on the bottle and put the bottle back on the floor. He handed a cup to me with one hand while he lit the dragonsblood incense stick with the other, flicking the lighter.

I lifted the cup to my lips and took a sip. Raspberry vodka is the equivelant to liquifying a raspberry and mixing it with alcohol.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I listened to Billie Holiday sing about her own personal pain.


	80. Chapter 89

t was 2 hours later when Evan pulled into the parking lot of the ballet school.

"You sure you can dance ok?" he asked me, knowing we'd both had a bit to drink over the last hour or so.

I was still dizzy from being intoxicated.

"Yeah. Are you ok to drive?" I returned.

"Um, not really. I'll call Rebecca."

"Ok. Thank you."

"You're welcome hun. You want me to come get you after?"

"In 2 hours."

"Ok."

i unbuckled my seatbelt, knowing class had already started. Evan unlocked the doors. I opened mine, got out and closed it, then headed upstairs to the locker room. Everyone, including Serena, was already in class. I opened my locker to discover that a note had been left in it.

Ashley, it read, in Serena's perfect cursive;

is it ok if I come to your place for dinner tonight? My mom has to work late, again.

-Serena

I pulled out my phone and texted Evan;

**is it ok if Serena comes 4 dnr 2nite?**

I waited for him to reply.

The small locker room was cold and empty. I knew the classroom doors were closed, signaling class had already started. It started at 5, promptly and went untill 7. There weren't any windows in the room, just lockers around 3 walls, the 4th holding the locker room was opposite the hall which held several studios. The bathroom was at the end of the hall.

I wondered who my role went to, the one of Mina's best friend. The one I'd lost.

My phone lit up, signaling a text message.

**Yeah. Rose and Louisa won't be dner**, read Evan's text.

**Ok. c u in 2 hrs**, I texted back.

"Hi," a voice said.

I looked up from my spot on the floor; "oh. hi."

She was quite pretty, with long dark hair and striking green eyes.

"I'm April," she told me.

"Oh. I'm Ashley," I said.

"I know."

"Oh. You here for a class?"

"No. I...uh. I do readings."

"Readings, like...?"

"Yes, psychic readings."

"Wow," I said, amazed.

"It's not as great as you might think. It's...a bit much sometimes, being able to read people as well as I can. Such as yourself, for instance."

I waited.

"You're from Brooklyn. Karen, your adoptive mom, is now in a coma...she and Jesse picked you up from Brooklyn a year or so ago...to escape your abusive father. Your mother died when you were younger. You're very disappointed that you've lost the role of Mina's best friend. Your best friend Lily's coming here from the city...you have a 3 yr old daughter named Angela, after your mother, back in the city...and...your sister Kate has leukemia and you suspect Anna might have it too," she informed me.

"Wow," was all I said.

"Yeah, well. My sisters are the same way."

"Your, sisters?"

"I have 4, Ariel, Abigail, Emerald and Violet."

"Oh. I think Rose knows Emerald."

"Yeah, she does."

She reminded me a lot of Lily.

"You remind me a lot of Lily. I think you'd like her," I said.

"I'd love to meet her sometime," April said.

"Maybe tonight? You could come for dinner, which is in 2 hours."

"Ok."

I pulled out my phone and texted Evan;

**hey, my friend April wants 2 cm 2 dnr 2.**

**ok,** he texted back.

Out of my backpack I pulled a pen and a notebook, setting the backpack, duffel bag and phone in my locker.

"Excuse me for a few," I told April, standing.

"Ok."

I went out of the room, down the hall, stairs and out the front door of the ballet stuido, where I sat down on the cold, uncomfortable stone steps. I opened the notebook and started writing.


	81. Chapter 90000000000000

**'I'm supposed to be in ballet class right now, but it's already started. I was 10 minutes late, due to my older brother driving me. He found me asleep at the high school. We went and had a drink and a smoke in his car, listening to Billie Holiday sing about her own pain. Both he and my best friend Lily reminded me, again, that I wasn't made of granite. I reminded him of the same thing.**

**Our mom's in a coma, and one of our sisters Kate has cancer; she's had since she was 2. My friend Serena's sister also has it. Incidentally enough, her mom is one of Kate's nurses. We suspect Anna might also have cancer...that's 2 siblings with cancer, 1 with an eating disorder, and 1 who's a prostitute. Louisa's the one w/ the eating disorder, and Marie's the prostitute. Our dad was angry when he found Marie down in the meat district. I cut, but only my brother and Lily know this. My brother's the go-to guy in the family. I also drink and smoke.**

**Before her accident, Mom's life revolved around Kate. And now Dad's does, as well as the rest of us. My brother and I, being the 2 oldest, have also taken over the household.**

**Mom's closest friend Pam's moved in with us, to help out. She's nice, but we all miss Mom, especially Kate. I'm talking about Mom as though she's already gone. But maybe that's got something to do with my biological mom dying when I was young. I really miss her.**

**Karen [the woman I now call Mom] and Jesse [Dad] found me on a trip up in New York, and took me in. I immediatly bonded with Evan.**

**Ballet's my only escape, but ever since I lost the role of Mina's best friend in the school's upcoming production of Dracula, I've not been at ballet as much. On the weekends I model and work at the same bookstore my sister Hannah does. During the week, I work as a waitress during the lunch and sometimes the breakfast hour, and at night I work downtown as a stripper. Marie, Hannah and I are the only ones who have jobs. Mom was a psychologist, as is Pam, and Dad's an 's also an artist. I also go to school.**

**I met someone interesting today, by the name of April, at the ballet school. I was in the locker room. She said she was there to do readings, psychic readings, and knew quite a bit about me. It was nice, not having to explain everything.'**

After I wrote in the notebook, I closed it, went down the street and took the bus downtown, where I left the notebook in the park. I took the bus back to the ballet studio.


	82. Chapter 101

Ashley

I felt I had to be made of granite in the words of both evan and lil was bc I had to hold everone up. After mom I was the next woman of the house. Well that and growing up w/ my dad I sortof had to be. Hed hated weak women. Countless times id defended my mother from him.


	83. Chapter 91

It was after ballet. Serena, April and I were in the locker room, sitting on the floor, waiting for Evan and Rebecca to pick us up. Everyone else had already left, leaving the ballet school quiet. Serena had dressed, I was leaning against her. I was still dressed in my ballet clothes. April was in black.

"I'm April," April told Serena.

"I'm Serena," she replied.

"I know...your sister Sierra has cancer and your mom's a nurse at the hospital where Kate is."

Serena looked at April, her blue eyes wide.

"She's good at reading people," I explained.

"Oh," was all Serena said.

My small black phone rang.

"Yeah?" I asked, flipping it open.

"Hey, we're here," Rebecca told me.

"Ok, we'll be right down," I replied.

"Ok."

We hung up.

Serena looked at me expectanly.

"They're here," I told her.

"Ok."

April and I stood. I extended my hand to Serena's, who took it as I helped her up.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome."

I smiled.

We walked out of the room, down the hall, stairs, outside and into the dark waiting car, where we opened the back door and climbed into the back, April, Serena and then myself. We closed the dark door, put our stuff on the floor, and put on our metal seatbelts. Louis Prima was playing. Rebecca was driving.

"How was class?" Evan asked.

"Ok," Serena replied.

"I'm April," April informed my brother and Rebecca."

"And I'm-" Evan began.

"Evan, yeah, I know."

"Oh."

"And you're Rebecca," April told Rebecca.

"Mmmhm," Rebecca confirmed; "oh, this is such a cute song!"

'Bueno Sera,' started playing.

"I know," I said, smiling and leaning against Serena.

"Your hair smells good," she told me.

"Thank you."

Evan smiled at me in the rearview mirror.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing," he replied.

"Ok. Hey, you gotta take me downtown later," I reminded him.

"Ok. Do you need me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll prolly just get a ride from one of the girls."

"Ok."

"You used to be a prostitute," April noted, of Rebecca.

"Yes dear, I did."


	84. Chapter 93

**Hannah**

It was hours later. Eric and I were settled on the sofa on the back porch of his couch, after smoking. I'd gotten so content that I'd settled back into him; he was really comfortable. The sun had set by now, leaving the night dark.

"You're really comfortable," I told Eric.

"Thank you, so I've heard. So..."

"Hm?"

"You draw a lot of Greece."

"Yeah, I love Greece. I'd love to go there some day. Just...observe the country, learn about mythology. I'd love to have an owl and name her Athena, or Diana. I've had dreams about it, even."

"Wow. It fits you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You seem very...Greek."

I laughed; "meaning?"

"Well. Ever seen My Life In Ruins?" Eric asked.

"I have that DVD!"

"Not surprisingly."

"I also have My Big Fat Greek Wedding...and The Sisterhood."

"Of the Pants?"

Again, I laughed; "yes, of the Pants. As though it belongs to the pants."

"Mm. But, it's been said that the Greeks love partying. You seem like a girl that likes to party, or dance at the very least," Eric observed.

"I do."

"Ever been clubbing?"

"Um, no."

"Would you like to go?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Unless...you have plans."

"No, no. Just let me go ask my dad."

"Ok."

I got up, went through the back door of Eric's place, out the front and crossed the lawn into mine. From the kitchen I smelled pasta.

"Hey Dad!" I called.

"Kitchen!" he called back.

I went into the kitchen, where Dad, Jennifer and Mark were. Mark and Dad were sitting at the table, Jennifer standing at the stove stirring a big pot of pasta. Mark was drawing.

"Yeah hun?" Dad asked when he saw me.

"Um, I'm going out with Eric tonight."

"Ok, but can you stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, just let me tell him. I'll ask if he wants to come."

"Ok."

I walked over to the table and peered over Mark's shoulder. I recognized the tall, white buildings of Greece I often drew, and the vast ocean-blue sky.

"Wow," I whispered.

Mark looked up at me; "yes?"

"That's...that's Greece."

"Yes, yes it is. My grandfather's Greek, and I've always wanted to go."

"So have I."

"Maybe some day we can."

I turned and went back to Eric's.

-XXX-

After dinner Evan drove Eric and I downtown, with directions given by Evan. By the time we arrived at the club it was already dark. The night was cold. I'd brought my ID, phone, sewing scissors and keys with me in my small black purse. Eric looked nice in all black. Evan and I were sitting in front and Eric was sitting in the back of Eric's car.

"So, Eric," Evan said, looking in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah?"

"How do you know my sister?"

"We're in the same art class."

"Oh."

"How do you know Rebecca?"

"I picked her up downtown one day. Like, I literally picked her up."

"In the district?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I've seen her down there myself."

"Oh."

"She knows Marie, right?"

Evan nodded; "yeah."

Evan parked across the street.

"Do you guys need me to pick you up?" he asked, as we unbuckled, opened the doors and got out.

"No we'll take...my car, actually," Eric replied.

"Oh ok."

Evan got out and gave the keys to Eric.

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

"You got a way to get back?" I asked.

Evan nodded; "yeah."

"Ok."

Evan started to walk away. Eric reached into the car and got a long black coat out. He handed it to me.

"Here, it's a bit cold," he said.

"Thanks," I said putting it on.

It was big, roomy, reached to the ground and smelled like him.

"Hey Hannah," Evan called while I was buttoning the coat.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"I will."

"Ok."

"Don't worry I won't let anything happen to her," Eric called.

Evan walked off.

It was the night Eric and I went clubbing.

We'd arrived across the street from a parking lot, downtown. It was a Wednesday. It was dark.

"So where exactly is this place?" I asked as Evan pulled up to the curb.

"It's actually right across the street through the, uh, parking lot," Eric replied, indicating with his finger.

"Ok," Evan said, parking.

He let us out and drove away.

We went across the street to the parking lot. The night was cold. I shivered a little my shoulders going up.

"You alrite?" Eric asked looking at me.

I looked at him, down, smiled.

"Yeah [it's] jut a little cold," I replied.

"We'll be there/inside soon."

"Thanks," I added.

Eric smiled: "sure."

We made our way across the parking lot straight in the middle.

"Um," I began, looking around.

"Yes?" Eric asked.

"Shouldn't we be, um. On the perimeter? Of the…"

"Parking lot?"

"Yeah."

"We wont get hit Hannah."

"How do you know?"

"Well for one do you see any cars driving around?"

"it's not the cars it's the people inside the cars who are driving."

"That's beyond the point."

Upon looking around I noticed the only cars I saw were already parked.

"And for another," he began, "it's not like the people want to hit the other people."

"Pedestrians. And only 10% do it intentionally."

"Yeah them too."

I laughed.

He moved closer to me taking my hand in his.

"Wow you are cold," he said.

I smiled, my shoulders moving up. His hand was warm.

"What's it like?" I asked.

"Oh the club?"

"Yeah."

"it's great you'll like it, everyone there is really nice," he answered: "my brother and his girlfriend are coming. Our sister'll be there too."

"oh who's his girlfriend?"

"Brianna."

He pronounced it 'bree-on-na', as did everyone who knew her.

I looked at him, surprised: "you're…you're kidding."

"No why?"

"I actually know her. And her sister belle."

"And Georgia and Giselle?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"Their parents went to school with my mom. Karen that is."

He nodded: "right."

He looped my arm around hi as we neared the stairs.

"Oh are you escorting me in?" I asked.

He laughed.

"Escorting," he muttered.

I waited.

"That makes me sound like a male prostitute."

I laughed: "omygod! Shut up."

"Make me."

I looked at him: "are….are you…."

A slow smile spread across my face: "you're flirting with me. Aren't you."

I realised.

"Um yeah. I was."

I neared closer to him.

"You'd like that. Wouldn't you," I said lowly into his neck.

"You," he swallowed, "you know it."

"Am I making you, uncomfortable," I whispered already knowing the answer.

I smiled, looked down. With my free hand I moved my hand over my left shoulder.

"Hey I thought Ashley was the only flirt in the family."

"Well clearly she's not."

We'd reached the tall door set in the brick building. 2 guy dressed in black framed either side of it.

"ID please miss," he asked me.

I flashed him my ID as well as a smile.

He waved us past him.

"I know one way to shut you up. It's a damn surefire way too," I muttered.

"Oh there's time for that yet love. You want anything to drink?"

"Like a real drink or…."

"Either."

"Maybe later."

"Ok well I'm going to get something."

He unlooped his arm and left, going somewhere I didn't know.

I looked around the dimly lit club spotting a curved leather seat against one of the brick walls. I carefully sat down on it still in my coat. The club was somewhat empty.

When we got in the club eric took my purse and coat and put them on one of the round leather sofas along the brick wall. The club was nearly empty. Despite that I went to an empty space. Eric came up to me.

"hey want a drink?" he asked.

"um ok."

This was really the first time id danced outside of school dances. I moved to the music. I wasn't sure how I looked and didn't really dance for anyone. The club was dark.

"hey lookin great out there," a female voice called.

This surprised me. Both the calling and the compliment.

I turned and saw a brunette deressed entirely in black sitting next to a blonde in white. They were both in leather. The brunnete had dark eyes and the blonde both had short hair the brunettes straight the blondes feathery.

They stood the brunette telling the blonde something then leaving.

The blonde came up to me.

"hey this your first time?" she asked.

"um. Yeah," I told her.

"well youre great."

"really? Thanks. This is actually my first time dancing outside of like, school dances."

"yeah man. Anyway im cherie I frequent the club. And the brunette who just left is joan. She went outside for a smoke."

"oh. Im Hannah."

"nice to meet you."thanks. You too. So whos the guy you came w/?"

"oh hes just…were not. Were not really officially together."

"oh."

"yeah were neighbors in the same art class."

"oh."

"that's eric."

"right."

As we talked I noticed what a striking woman she was.

**Tuesday**

After Eric and I got back from clubbing we collapsed onto his outdoor couch. It was around 3 a.m. the next morning. The morning was dark quiet and cold.

"brrr," I said.

"hey ill be right back," he told me standing.

"uh ok."

"In the meantime here," he tossed a bag of brown powder onto the clear glass table.

"what's this?" I asked looking at it and then up at him.

"nutmeg. Knock yourself out."

He went in the house.

I smiled thinking this was a more apt term for Mandy who sometimes passed out.

I wondered what happened to the pot wed smoked earlier.

I didn't want to start taking hits without Eric but he'd told me to knock myself out so I guess I was welcome to the brown stuff.

I leaned forward and opened the bag. Right away I knew what it was. The smell was strong potent. It was nutmeg. We had some in our house too.

"hey man," I heard a guy inside say to Eric.

"hey you just wake up?" Eric asked.

"yeah."

"k. I'm gonna get the stuff she's already out there."

"ok."

The front door behind me opened. I tensed getting the small pocket knife Evan had given me out of one of my boots and put it in my hand concealed.

I wondered what 'the stuff' was.

The door closed and someone stepped onto the porch.

"hey," he said.

I turned towards his voice.

"I'm Leo," he introduced.

"um hi. Hannah."

"eric'll be out in a minute."

"Oh. Ok."

"hey man you seen the mix?" Eric called from inside.

"should be on top of the player."

"yeah and idinno where that is cuz it's dark."

"ok ill come look."

Leo went back inside.

The porch light flicked itself on.

"gavin comin?" Eric asked.

"yeah."

I wondered who gavin was.

-XXX-

I heard footsteps cross the lawn and come up onto the porch. The guy who came onto the porch looked like the hot guy from country strong the one w/ the blue eyes.

"hey, gavin," he introduced sitting.

"hey Hannah," I said.

He seemed approachable.

"what sup"

"nothing much. I'm waitin for the stuff whatever that is."

"oh don't worry. It's just the ludes and stuff."

"ludes?"

"oh Quaaludes."

"um…right and they are…..?"

"drugs. Were they were drugs back in the '70's."

"oh ok."

"you seem nervous," he remarked.

I was slightly comfortable w/ this remark.

"sorry I just. I'm good at reading people my aunts the same."

"it's ok so's my sister. She got it from her mom. And yeah I was nervous about the stuff before you told me what it was. I thought it was some weird. Sexual thing."

"oh. No don't worry."

"and about leo."

"oh he's cool that's just how he comes across."

"ok. I was taken aback but not at all. Put out."

"you ever done this before?" he asked looking at the nutmeg.

"no but I have done pot so."

"yeah its pretty much the same."

He leaned forward; "mind if I take a few hits?"

"no go right ahead."

"ok."

**2 a.m.**

It was 2 in the morning when eric woke me.

"hey," he said tapping me on the shoulder.

"hm?" I asked still half asleep.

"wanna lude?"

"now?"

"no 3 weeks from fukin Tuesday. Yes now."

"uh….where?"

"my place."

"uh oh ok."


	85. Chapter 94

Ashley

I hadn't gotten a text from the unknown number in awhile so this one surprised me. It read;

i know where your toe shoes are. xoxo


	86. Chapter 95

**Evan**

After I dropped Eric and Hannah off at the club I took the bus to our street and then walked to our place. I went inside I heard Dad, Jennifer and Mark talking in the kitchen and April and Lily talking upstairs in Lily's room. Alexa was at Tom's and Louisa, Ashley and Rebecca were in the big white living room, Louisa and Rebecca sitting on the white couch, Ashley stretching on the white carpet. Louisa and Rebecca were reading. Ashley and Rebecca looked up when I came in.

"Hi love," Rebecca said.

"Hi," I returned.

"I need to talk-"

"Evan you need to take me downtown," Ashley reminded me.

I looked at her; "I know but first I gotta talk to Rebecca."

"Ok."

"Evan," Dad called from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I said, turning my head.

"Have you seen Marie? Or Rose?"

"Um..."

"They're still downtown," Ashley informed him.

"Oh. Ok."

"I'll text them after I take Ashley," I told Dad.

"Ok."

Rebecca stood up.

"So what'd you need to talk to me about?" I asked her, looking at her.

"Um, is there somewhere quiet we can go?" she replied.

I looked around.

"Yall can use my room," Ashley supplied.

"Thanks hun," I told her.

She smiled.

"Oh, hey hold on," I said, remembering that Dad might like to know that Ashley's friend Lily was visiting.

"Ok."

"Ashley."

"Yeah?" she said.

"Does Dad know that Lily's coming?"

"Oh, that reminds me."

She got up from her spot on the floor and went into the kitchen.

Rebecca and I climbed the wide white curving stairs and went down the thin narrow carpeted hall to Ashley's room where we closed the wood door and sat on the floor.

"Evan," Rebecca said, looking at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

It was quiet in the room. Down the hall it had gone quiet. I presumed Anna was asleep. She slept a lot these days. I wondered if we'd gotten Kate's comforter dry-cleaned and made a note to ask Pam about it.

"I love you," Rebecca said.

"And I love you," I returned; "I think you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen."

"Thank you. Well...after some thought...I asked Pam if she had any and she didn't so then I asked Ashley, and she didn't. I didn't want to ask Jennifer."

"Oh. Any...?"

"Condoms."

"Condoms," I repeated.

"Yeah. I mean, eventually I'd want to have kids..."

I stood up; "Rebecca! We're in high school! We can't take care of a kid now!"

"Yeah, I know. That's why I suggested the condoms."

"Oh."

"So I need you to take me to Walgreen's so I can buy some."

"Ok."

"Evan there's something else you should know...the last guy I fuked, before I left prostitution, he...I tried to get an abortion but it was too late. I'm due in 5 months."

Omygod. 5 months, that was in March.

"Wow," I said quietly, stunned.

"Evan?" she asked.

"Um. Yeah?"

"You'll help take care of it, won't you?"

"Um..."

There was no way in hell I was going to let my girlfriend be a single mother.

"Evan?"

"Um yeah. Yeah I will," I returned quietly.

"Ok."

I stood up and walked out of the room.

"Ashley let's go!" I called down the stairs.

-XXX-

After I dropped Louisa and Rebecca off at the coffee shop downtown Ashley and I drove around for a bit.

"So apparently," I began, "Rebecca's 5 months pregnant."

"You guys had sex?" she asked.

"No but she wants to."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah I know that's what I said. I told her I'd take care of it since there's no way in hell I'm lettin my girlfriend be a single mom."

"Right."

"The guy who impregnated her was the last guy she fuked before she left prostitution."

"Wow."

"Yeah so I need to drop her off at Walgreen's so she can get condoms."

"Oh"

We drove to the strip club where I dropped Ashley off. After that I texted Marie;

**where r u? r u ok?**

**we're downtown, **she texted back,** in the park. I've been avoiding Dad. Will u talk 2 him? **she texted back.

**Sigh ok yes**, I returned.

**Thanks.**

**ur welcome**, I sent.

I drove to a bus bench where I found a notebook. I opened it and started reading, then replied.


	87. Chapter 96

ter writing, I left the notebook in the place I'd found it, then got in my car, drove to the coffee shop and picked Rebecca and Louisa drove back to the house, where I parked. We got out, went in and they went up to Louisa's room. The house was quiet. Dad was sitting on the white couch in the living room drinking coffee. He looked up when I came in, setting his black coffe cup on the coffee table.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey another sleepless night?" I guessed.

He sighed: "yeah."

"Yeah I get that. Anyway," I came closer to the couch: "I need to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"It's about Marie."

"Oh."

"Yeah, you..." I sat on the sofa next to him: "scared her, a bit."

"I don't approve of her selling her body for money Evan. I've seen what it can do to young women her age. I've seen what it can do to your mom."

Mom was someone we hadn't talked about for weeks.

"She...Mom was. she was a prostitute?"

"Yes Evan. Your mom was a prostitiute."

"Oh.

"She and I told Michelle, that's Maries mom, that we'd take care of Marie. I'm scared that if Marie gets too deep into prostitution she'll end up dead. Or worse."

Oh. so that was it.

"Like your mother was. And I don't know how to tell her this."

"I'll tell her. But Dad."

"Yeah?"

"You can't protect her forever."

I stood up and left.


	88. Chapter 97

Hannah

That night I went to my dads room. He was sitting at his desk a blank piece of paper in front of him.

"any luck?" I asked.

He looked up my way.

"no no. I really haven't felt inspired."

"yeah I know you said that awhile ago."

"oh. What can I do for ya?"

I went in closing the door behind me. I sat on his bed.

"well…when I was in the living room mark came in. we talked about Greece which I was drawing and have always wanted to visit."

"mmmhmm."

"I mentioned Kate and he brought up that he knew what it was like knowing someone who was sick. And he told me. About your mom. And her…you know. When you were in college."

"yeah the," dad looked down, "sleeping pills."

"right. What haven't you told us?"


	89. Chapter 98

**Hannah**

It was the day after clubbing, very early morning. I'd gotten back about an hour ago, at 2. I was on my MySpace, blogging;

**I now have a boyfriend, or at the very least, a really good guy friend. Guy friend? Is that even a phrase? That sounds weird. Anyway his name's Eric and we met in art class. He does pot. I tried some. I've never done drugs before. I told him about my longing to go to Greece. He said I seem Greek, because their philodophy, according to movies like 'My Life In Ruins', is to dance. We went clubbing. Which I've never done either. It was a lot of fun. I danced. I didn't know I was that good of a dancer. It was nice to be away from everything. It ended as quickly as it began but doesn't it always?**

**We're neighbors; I'd gotten their mail by mistake one morning and brought it over to them.**

**Dad's friend from college, Mark, is staying with us. He's an artist, has a gallery in Boston. He and I both draw Greece. There's something oddly familiar about him. What, I don't yet know. He's nice.**

**I have school in a few hours.**


	90. Chapter 99

**Louisa**

That morning very early I was woken up by Cherie breathing on the back if ny beck. We were in my bed. Shed slept over. Her breath was hot.

"mmm morning kitten," she said.

I rolled over so we were facing each other.

"hey morning. You were making me really comfortable for a minute there," I said.

"yeah I know. that's the point."

"what's for breakfast?" I asked suddenly hungry.

"sex," she said brushing my hair back.

"really?"

"well yeah. it's a helluva lot better than actual food."

"in the dark?"

My room was still dark.

"yeah it'll be interesting. Well be feeling each other a lot more instead of seeing."

As I undressed she took my hair in her hands and kissed me. The hair part felt a little unusual but also really good. I could see what she meant when she said it was 'hot' .it was pretty 'arousing' a word id picked up from Evan when wed talked about Cherie and I.

"ok I am loving that," I said moving out of my pants.

I put them on the floor by the bed.

"yeah I thought you would. It is pretty hot," Cherie said helping me out of my shirt.

Which she put on the floor.

"oh wow you're so small," she said amused; "you don't wear a bra."

"Cherie im 14. Do I…..need to?"

I was suddenly self conscious. She brushed my hair back sensing this. I smiled.

"no not yet."

"oh and you do?" I countered.

It was true. My girlfriend didn't. she said she didn't bc it was freeing. I liked it bc it made intimacy easier.

"point taken."

She put her hands on my legs and ran her fingers along them. The hairs tingled.


	91. Chapter 100

**Ashley**

I went up the stairs and down the hall to the large dressing room where I pulled out a chair that was in front of a white vanity. I set my coat and purse on the chair then began undressing.

"Ashley you're 10 minutes late," a beautiful black young woman by the name of Ruby informed me, leaning forward to put sequins on her eyes.

"I know I'm sorry. My brother wanted to talk to me."

"Oh."

"You're up after me so you better hurry. Chloe and Renee are already out there," Maria, a gorgeous Mexican, told me.

"Ok."

"I'm after you," Rosa, Marias sister, told me.

"And then me," Ruby said.

"And then me," Trixie said.

Maria, Rosa, Ruby and Trixie were dressed in satin bustiers, which had small bits of lace along the side seams. They had tall stilettos on, dyed to match the color of their outfits; Maria's dark green, Rosa's black, Ruby's white and Trixie's red.

Maria and Rosa had dark hair and eyes.

From under the table I pulled out my trunk, opened it, and pulled out my outfit and stilettos which I changed into, then put my clothes and purse into the trunk, which I pushed back under the table. I sat down.

"Hey yall know my friend Lily's coming right?" I asked, leaning forward to do my makeup.

"Ooh from the city?" Maria asked.

"Yeah."

"For how long?" Rosa wanted to know.

"I don't know."

"Oh."

"Yall want to get some breakfast after?" Ruby asked.

"Ok," Maria agreed.

"Me too," I said.

"I do too," Rosa put in.

"Maria," we heard Chloe's voice say: "you're up."

Maria rose from her chair and left the room.

* * *

After work the girls and I'd gone to a village inn.

* * *

**Wednesday**

**2 a.m.**

It was 2 in the morning. Ruby, Rosa, Maria, Chloe, Renee, Trixie and myself were all sitting in a round booth in the back of Village Inn. We'd changed out of our stripper outfits and into long dresses, the same color our outfits had been.

"Honey," Ruby said to a tall, dark haired waiter passing by.

He looked at her.

"We're ready to order."

He turned around.

"Hey what would you like to drink?" he asked us.

"A little bit of um..." Rosa looked down at the menu on the table in front of her and then up at him; "you."

We giggled.

"Rosa!" Maria hissed.

Her sister turned to her; "it's not my fault the man's good-looking."

"Well, thank you but I'm taken."

"Awww," we chorused.

"All the good ones are taken cherie," Chloe said.

"I will have...tea," Renee said.

"Alrite and for you miss?" the waiter asked Trixie.

She smiled and turned to us; "he called me 'miss'!"

We giggled again.

"Um, do you have cherry...coke?" Trixie asked flirtatiously.

She blinked her blue eyes at him.

"Yes uh, yes we do," he replied, trying to keep a straight face.

"And you?" he asked me.

"What about. Vanilla?" I asked.

"Yes, we have that."

"Which do you prefer, chocolate or vanilla?" Ruby asked him, leaning forward to reveal her plunging neckline.

"Or strawberry?" Renee asked, referring to her red hair.

"Neither, really."

"Strawberries," I muttered, knowing this was an aphrodisiac.

He finished taking our drink orders and left.


	92. Chapter 99999999999999999

**Ashley**

"Hi what can I get you?" I asked the girl sitting behind a round table in front of me.

"Just some water," she replied.

"Oook."

Her expression said 'fuk off' but her eyes said so much more.

I walked over to the next customer.

It was lunch hour and I was at my wairessing job. I worked here on the week days during lunch and during the lunch and dinner hours on the weekends. At night I worked as a cocktail waitress at a club downtown. I was working to earn money for Kate's treatment and hospital bills, the same reason Hannah worked at the bookstore and Marie was a prostitute. There are some things insurance won't cover. Ever since Mom had been in her accident we'd had to lot work a lot more hours. Out of the 3 of us Marie made the most money. She'd been a prostitute back in Paris as well, as had her mother


	93. Chapter 10000000000

Anna

It was Thursday afternoon and I was at gymnastics. I was on the beam flipping into a no handed flip. Then I was to spin around on the beam do the splits and do a hand stand.

When I finished the flip instead of landing on my feet and spinning I grabbed the side of the beam and bent in half. The coach came over to me.

"anna, off the beam," she said.

I got off the beam and stood next to her on the floor.

"ok you've got the flip down. You just have to stick the landing. Try it from the end of the flip," she told me.

I got back on the beam and tried the spin from the end of the flip. Again I ended up grabbing the side of the beam.

"I think I know what the problem is. Youre not centered. After youre done w/ the flip you need to land so youre centered. Lets try just the flip. Your sisters take ballet right?" she asked me.

I nodded; "yeah."

"go home and have them help you w/ your balance. You know, finding your center."

"ok."


	94. Chapter 9777777777

It was 8 p.m. that night, and ballet was over. Autumn, Serena and I were the only ones left in the locker room. Everyone else had left. In an hour ourselves, the members of the glee club and dance commitee would meet at the school gym to decorate for the upcoming Halloween dance, and then there was a party at my place. It was quiet and cold in the locker room. We were getting ready to leave.

I was putting my stuff in my purple bag when I noticed when that my extra pair of pointe shoes were missing.

"Hey, autumn?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"Have you seen my extra pair of shoes?"

"No hun sorry."

"Oh."

"But I'll keep a lookout for them."

"Thanks."

"Mmhmm."

"Hey can either Serena or I give you a ride?"

"No that's ok."

"Ok."

"I thought you didn't drive?"

"I don't. I meant, Evan and I. Or. Serena."

"Oh."

I turned to Serena, who was taking her time undoing her hair.

"Have you seen them?" I asked her.

"Um. Seen...what?"

"My extra pair of shoes."

"Oh. Um. No, no I haven't."

"Oh."

-XXX-

Evan and I were in my room that night.

"so," he began.

I looked at him; "yeah?"

"you like serena."

"yeah she's, really pretty."

"yeah and really nice. Nicer than me even."

"well….yeah. Howd you 2 meet?"

"at school actually. She's friends w/ the cheerleaders. Apparently. One day they were talking about petty things and I went over and gave them a piece of my mind."

"as usual."

"right. As usual. At lunch that week she apologized. She invited me over."

"oh. Well that was nice of her."

"yes. It was."


	95. Chapter 98888888888888

**Alexa**

It was around 11 that night. Tom and I were at his place. His sisters were asleep. We were spread on the living room floor thumbing through books of Frida Kahlo paintings that my dad had let us borrow. He had a few other art books back at our house.

"Wow," I said: "all her paintings are really colorful."

"Yeah and sad."

"What about this one?" I pointed to a painting of Frida and Diego, a pink banner stretched over them.

She was wearing a dark green dress and a red wrap. Her hair was up and 2 necklaces adorned her neck.

"I think, that'd be great. We'll talk to your dad about it tomorrow."

"Ok."

We closed the books and put them on the black-rimmed coffee table which was in front of the sofa. I sat on the couch while Tom stood.

"Hey do you want some coffee or anything?" he asked.

"Yeah, coffee."

"Ok."

He went into the kitchen. His apartment was quiet. Opposite the couch was the tv. It was nice to be somewhere where, at any moment, somewhere would get sick and everyone else would have to go to the hospital. Which meant it wouldn't be.

I pulled out my phone and called Dad to let him know I was staying at Tom's for the night.

I reached forward and grabbed the black remote off the coffee table as Tom came back into the room. In the kitchen the coffeemaker was bubbling.

"Hey is it ok if I watch tv?" I asked as Tom settled in next to me.

"Yeah that's fine."

I flipped to That 70's Show.

-XXXX-

Alexa, Fiona, Isabel and I were at my place in the living room, Alexa and I on the couch.

"You know," Alexa said, snuggling into me: "Maybe there's a reason Jessica's a bitch."

"Like what?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"You sound like my mom," Fiona said.

"Well. My dad's told me the same thing. And, no one does anything without a reason."

"Mmm that's true."

I knew she wasn't just talking about the breakup between Fiona and Jason. She was also talking about Kate. And Amanda. She was saying there was a reason she did what she did.

"And Serena wants Jason to ask her out," Isabel said.

"I thought he liked Jessica," I said.

"Yeah. He does."

"Oh."

I sighed. Women were so complicated. If they liked someone they couldn't just tell that person. They had to go through several of their friends.

"Women are so complicated," I said.

"Thanks honey," Alexa said sarcastically, tilting her head up and back and looking at me so we could kiss.


	96. Chapter 999999999999888888888

**Thursday**

**Louisa**

That morning very early around 3 a.m. Cherie came into my room which was dark. I was asleep. I knew shed walked over from the bar. Evan must've let her in.

"hey kitten. Morning wake up," she said kissing me awake.

I rolled over and looked at her. Her glitter sparkled in the dark.

"hi," I said glad to see her, "how was the bar?"

"eh ok. Busy. Mom came in I told her to leave. I couldn't get her to so then the manager came out and made her leave."

"oh where'd she go?"

"idinno. Marie had to come and pick her up."

"oh."

"yeah she drove mom home and took her car keys."

"good," I said.

"yeah so she wont be driving any time soon. Although w/ how much she drinks…"

"…yeah its prolly for the best. So now she knows you work there?"

"oh well she always knew. She's just. Forgotten."

"oh. Evan let you in?"

"yeah. Hey so what are you doing and being for Halloween?"

"idinno. I know my sisters having a dance er. There is a dance at her school. Not like…she's. Hosting. It."

"right. Well we could go. I mean if you're into that kindof thing."

"idinno im not much of a dancer."

"and being?" she asked.

"im not sure."

"well I could go as bowie and you could be. You know. A kitten."

I laughed.

"a kitten….right…and you're what? Going to be a cherry bomb?"

"well I already am. Cant stay at home cant stay in school…"

"mmm get over here."

I pulled her close and kissed her biting her lip.


	97. Chapter

**Ashley**

The next morning at school there were 2 papers taped to the white wall outside the drama room. Serena and I walked up to them. One was a sign up sheet for the school play, the other for the glee club.

"You interested?" I asked Serena, who had her arm around my waist.

"No, I think I'll just stick with ballet."

"Oh. Ok."

"How was work?" she leaned her head on my shoulder as I wrote my name on one of the many black lines listed on both papers.

"Ok, long."

"Mmm."

"After, we went to Village Inn."

"Hey I gotta get goin. But let me know about tonight."

"Ok."

She moved her head, kissed me and left. When she drove me to school she'd asked if I want to hang out at her place tonight.

I looked at the writing on either list; the auditions for the play were at lunch and the ones for glee club were after school. This meant I couldn't go to cheerleading. I pulled my phone out and texted Jessica, who was in cheerleading with me and told her I couldn't go due to auditions. I'd stopped going to ballet after school.

"Auditioning for the play?" a female voice asked.

"Huh?" I asked, startled.

I put my phone away.

"Auditioning...for...the...?" the young woman repeated slowly.

She had long straight dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Her body had filled out nicely.

"Yeah."

"Yeah me too."

She wrote her name on the top line of each list, and put a star after it.

"I'll probably get the lead, I always do. I was the lead in Spring Awakening and Wicked, up in New York. The star's a symbol."

"A symbol?"

Of what, I wondered.

"Yes."

She turned and left.

I pulled out my phone and texted Serena, letting her know I wouldn't be meeting her at lunch due to auditions.

A female voice came near my ear, humming 'I'm Not That Girl' from Wicked.

"I'm Not That Girl," I said, recognizing it.

"Hm?" the girl asked.

"From, Wicked."

"Oh. Yeah. Wicked. You auditioning as well?"

I looked at her and noticed she was very pretty, with light skin, long blonde hair and huge blue eyes. She seemed sad, quiet and sad. I got an image of her holding a baby.

"Yeah. I'm Ashley."

"I'm Dianna. I was Glinda in Wicked. I hope she's not there, at the auditions."

"She?"

"Rachel. We don't get on well."

"Oh."

"Well. I have to get to history but it was nice meeting you."

"You too."

She left.

From the information she gave me I gathered that the young woman that had first signed up was Rachel, and she and Dianna had both been in Wicked.

It was 8 a.m. by this time. Students were milling about in the halls, talking, texting, standing by their lockers.

That morning I'd gotten home at around 3, 4 a.m. I then headed straight to ballet. After the glee club auditions after school I planned to go home and sleep untill it was time for Evan and I to pick Lily up at the airport.

Kate and Mandy were still at the hospital, and we suspected Marie was still downtown. Kate's comforter was still at the dry cleaner's. Serena and I decided we liked each other but weren't officialy going out.

I had a dance commitee meeting after school as well.

The smell of his cologne reached me before he did. I looked up and noticed a fist set against a wall attached to an arm in a light blue long sleeve shirt button up shirt which was attached to a body standing several inches above me.

"Hey got a pen?" he asked.

"Yeah."

I dug out my purse and dug out a blue pen, handing it to the guy; "here."

"Thanks..." he racked his brain for my name.

He had dark hair.

"Ashley," I supplied.

"Ashley right that's right."

He wrote his name on each of the lists and handed me back the pen; "here ya go."

"Thank you."

I put it back in my purse.

"Uh huh."

"We've never met before," I informed him.

"Hm?"

"You'd forgotten my name, which, I'd never told you untill now."

"Oh. I'm Cory by the way."

"Oh."

"Sorry about that."

"What?"

"Rachel, I assume you 2 have met?"

He was referring to the brunette.

"Well, no, she didn't formally introduce herself but I figured out it was her from what Dianna told me."

"Right as they were both in Wicked."

"Yeah. Dianna's nice."

"Yeah. Who's the blonde?"

"The...?"

"Yeah, the other blonde."

"Oh, that's Serena. She's my sort-of girlfriend. We're not officially going out but we definately like each other."

"Yeah I can see why."

"Rachel doesn't seem very nice," I observed.

"Yeah she...she can be. She keeps her distance."

"Oh. Why?"

"She's very talented, as she probably told you. It might have something to do with her 2 dads."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, um they're gay."

"Oh."

"Don't tell her I told you this but when she was little people weren't very nice to her because of that."

"Oh."

"Hey do you want to sit with us at the lunch audition? Serena can come."

"Sure."

"Ok."

"Us?" I asked.

"Rachel, Dianna, myself, and Amber and Chris, who I'm sure you'll meet later."

"Yeah ok."

"It was nice meeting you Ashley. See you at lunch."

"Ok see you."

He left.

A hefty African American young woman with long straight hair came beside me, humming 'I Won't Say I'm In Love' from 'Hercules'. She reached up and wrote her name on the list.

"With who?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"The song...'I Won't Say...' ".

"Oh that. I'm not, actually."

"You got a great voice."

She smiled; "thank you! That's why I'm auditioning."

"I am too. As is Rachel...and Dianna...and Cory. I'm Ashley by the way."

"I'm Amber. Good luck competing against Rachel."

"Thanks. Yeah, since apparently she's always the lead."

"Yes. Yes she is."

"Thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome."

"Oooh I'll sign up. I think I'll do something from Chicago," a slight guy my height with brown features said, coming up to us.

He was dressed very nicely, in a long sleeved button black shirt and black pants. On his feet were black shoes. He had dark hair and blue eyes.

He took the pen and signed his name on both the lines.

"That sounds good. I know you'll do great," Amber told the guy, smiling.

"Thank you."

He smiled then looked at me; "ooh I love your coat."

I was wearing a zigzagged, checkered black-and-white wool coat.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome. Are you also auditioning?"

"Yes. I'm Ashley."

"I'm Chris. And this is..."

"Amber, yeah, I know. We've already met."

"Oh."

"Amber, we have class," Chris reminded her.

"Oh ok. Ashley we'll see you at lunch."

" was nice meeting you."

"You too," Chris called as they left.

Down the hall there was a commotion. I turned, looked and noticed a large tall football player with a black mohawk and Marie standing against the metal lockers. Another football player was talking to the first. Marie looked upset. After a few minutes the second football player left. The first turned to Marie. I walked towards them.

"You ok?" I heard the guy ask her.

"Yeah, just a bit upset," she replied.

She then noticed me. Her blue eyes widened.

"Ashley!" she said.

"Marie! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I decided to come to school."

"Oh, so you're not whorin around anymore."

The football player looked at me, his small dark eyes wide.

"She's not a whore," he informed me.

"It's ok. She's my sister. And she..."

"...makes a living working downtown in the district," Marie finished.

"Oh ok."

A tall, thin guy who was dressed nicely, with curled light brown hair followed by a red haired woman my height walked by.

"Puck you goin to practice?" the guy asked.

"No I'm going to auditions," the football player replied.

"Ok, see ya then."

The couple left.

"Puck?" I asked.

"Well, actually I'm Noah. But everyone here knows me as Puck."

"Oh ok."

"And that, was Mr. Schuester. He's the Spanish teacher. The woman with him is Miss Pillsbury, she's the guidance counselor. They're engaged. She was going to marry the football coach but he stood her up."

"Oh ok. Is the baby Dianna's?"

"Baby?"

"I saw a...nevermind."

"Ok."

"I'm Ashley."

We went our seperate ways to class.

-XXX-

It was lunchtime. Serena, Rachel, Dianna, Cory, Amber, Chris, Puck, Marie and I were sitting in uncomfortable wooden seats in the schools auditorium, along with Mr. Shuester and Miss Pillsbury, and several others. Serena was sitting on one side of me, Marie on the other, then Puck and the others. Marie and Puck were talking, as were Amber and Chris, Cory and Rachel and Mr. Shuester and Miss Pillsbury. The auditorium wasn't very crowded; large with black wall sconces, a stage with a large long purple curtain, large black speakers on either side of the stage, white walls, stairs leading up to the stage and a white balcony above us. I was winding the pink ribbon of my pink toe shoes around my leg, since the paper said we had to both sing and dance.

Mr. Schuester stepped on to the middle of the stage.

"Hello everyone," he said; "thank you for joining us. For those who don't know, I'm Mr. Schuester, but you can call me Mr. Schue. I'm the Spanish teacher. That lovely lady over there," he indicated Miss Pillsbury; "is Miss Pillsbury, the guidance counselor and my fiance. Alrite let's get started. Rachel I believe you're up first."

Mr. Schue took his seat and Rachel stepped onstage.

"I hope she doesn't do 'Defying Gravity' again," Amber muttered to Chris.

"She always does 'Defying Gravity'," Dianna muttered back.

Rachel stepped onstage.

Next to me, Serena put her head on my shoulder and slipped her hand into mine.

"I'll be singing 'Don't Rain On My Parade, from 'Funny Girl'," Rachel announced.

"Ok whenever you're ready," Mr. Schue told her.

"She's such a diva," Dianna muttered.

"Yeah she can be. But she also can be nice," Cory said.

"You only say that cuz you're in love with her," Chris said.

Cory smiled.

"Ashley I didn't get a chance to tell you it was nice to meet you," Puck told me.

"Oh, that's ok."

"Well, it is."

"Thank you."

"Mmmhmm."

He put his arm around the back of Marie's chair.

"This is very '40's," Marie observed.

"Ever seen the movie?" I asked.

"No."

We listened to Rachel sing, her voice loud, controlled and mature.

"Wow," Serena said.

"I know. She's amazing."

"She sounds like Idina Menzel," Marie noted.

"And that's, why she was in 'Wicked'," Dianna told us, annoyed.

"Oh."

I noticed a pair of '40's heels on Rachel's feet.

"I love her shoes. I wonder if she's going to tap dance," I wondered.

A minute later Rachel did just that. After she was done we all clapped.

"Thank you," Rachel said, stepping down off the stage.

She resumed her place next to Cory.

"Babe you were amazing," he told her, his eyes wide, smiling.

"As always. And thanks."

They kissed, Cory putting his arm around the back of her chair. Rachel was all aglow.

Mr. schue looked back at us; "Dianna you're up, and then Amber."

Dianna stood up from her place and onto the stage.

"I'll be singing 'You Keep Me Hangin On', by the Supremes," she announced.

"Ok go right ahead," Mr. Schue said.

Dianna began singing, her voice low and strong.

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah I know," Serena said.

"For someone so quiet...she sure can sing," Amber noted.

"Yeah you should've seen her in 'Wicked'; she was so cute as Glinda," Rachel said.

"A compliment, from Rachel?" Chris asked.

"Am I not allowed to compliment people?"

"Well usually you're so, um," I searched.

Selfish and people who are don't regularly compliment.

"Oh I know."

"Honey you haven't really gotten a chance to know her," Serena reminded me.

"Oh. I think,"

"Hm?"

"We should start a babysitting club, like Mom had with her friends. We'll ask Pam for help tomorrow."

"Ok."

"'I'll help," Marie said.

"Ok."

Amber stood up and went to sit on the stairs aside the stage.

"I'm after her," Chris said.

"Have yall met Serena?" I asked everyone.

They introduced themselves.

"I love your shoes," I told Rachel.

"Thank you."

"How long have you 2 been together?"

"A year," Cory answered.

"Oh."

"All of us used to live in Ohio."

"Oh."

Dianna got off the stage. She and Amber hugged and Dianna came back to her seat.


	98. Chapter 9000000000000099999999999

**Evan**

**I found my younger sister asleep on the school steps this afternoon. She didn't look very comfortable. But she needed the sleep. She's so busy, with her 3 jobs and being the woman of the house since our mom was in a car accident. One of our other sisters - Kate - has cancer, and another - Mandy - has an eating disorder. So, she has to make sure everyones ok.**

**But so do I, as does our dad. It's not fair to either of us and never has been. I found this on a bench downtown by the ballet school.**

**I know my oldest sister misses her biological mom, who died when she was young. They were close. Her dad didn't treat either of them very well.**

**Ashley, the sister I've been writing about, evidently lost the lead in the ballet school's production of Dracula. I wonder why. She loves dance but I guess it got to be too much for her. She's always seemed so stable.**

**I want to meet her friend April. then maybe I can spend more time with my girlfriend.**

-XXXX-

**My girlfriend's 5 months pregnant. We haven't had sex but she wants to.**

**It was the last guy she fuked before she quit prostitution. She's due in March. It's now Occtober. She fuked him in June. She wants to buy condoms so we can have sex and not worry about getting her pregnant. I'll stay with her for the baby's life. I wonder why the guy didn't. But that's how it is in the business. You fuk the guy and you might or might not see him again.**

**So Dad and I talked about Marie. He's scared she'll end up like her mom, who, one night after having sex with a guy, was murdered. Dad and Karen, our mom, brought Marie back from Paris. I told Dad I'd talk to Marie about it.**


	99. Chapter 91111111111000000

**Amber**

I signed up for glee club, again. I'd been in it back in Ohio, with Rachel, Tina, Puck, Cory, Dianna, Santana and Brittany. Cory had just signed his name on the sign up sheet.

I went to sign up, humming a Disney song. To my side was a pretty blonde young woman.

I signed up.

She introduced herself as Ashley, I introduced myself.

"Good luck competing against Rachel," I told her.

"Yeah since she's apparently always the lead," she said.

"She is."

She was the lead in Cabaret, Wicked, Funny Girl, Spring Awakening. Everyone knew how talented she was and how motivated.

Chris came and joined us, informing us he was singing something from Chicago. He complimented Ashley on her coat, they exchanged introductions.

We walked off to class.


	100. Chapter 92222222233333333

**Puck**

It was the day I met Marie. It was also the day we all signed up for the glee club.

It was morning.

Down the hall I saw a couple of guys on the football team surrounding a small brunette. She was against a locker. I walked towards them.

"Hey gorgeous why don't you give us some of that sugar?" one of them said.

"Yeah we heard you do quite a bit of work in the district," another said.

"All we wanna do is get laid," the 3rd said.

"And it seems you're perfectly willing and ready."

"So cmon."

One of them grabbed her thin shoulders. The other started to unbutton her coat. The 3rd got down on the floor and ran his fingers around her ankles.

"Hey," I said, approaching them.

They turned and looked at me.

"Get away from her," I told them.

"We just wanna get laid," one of them told me.

"Yeah well so do I. If you wanna get laid though try Santana,"

They left, going off to find Santana.

I approached the brunette.

"Hey I'm Puck," I told her.

"Marie."

"Sorry about that. You alrite?"


	101. Chapter 9333333333333333344444444

**4 p.m.**

It was 4 p.m. and we were in the choir room. Everyone was sitting on the bleachers. Dianna, Puck and another tall, large football player were talking. Tina was talking with another Asian, a guy. Rachel, Cory, Amber and Chris were also talking, as were Brittany and Santana. Sitting next to me was another football player. We had 8 girls and 5 guys; we needed another 3 guys.

Into the room walked Mandy, and sat next to me, on the other side. She looked a bit out of it. As usual, she was dressed well. She was wearing a purple sweater, black pants and black leather boots. On her ears were pearl earrings.

"Hey what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Evan brought me. I wanted to see what this was all about."

"Shouldn't you be in the...?"

"Hospital?"

I nodded; "yeah."

"He got me signed out."

"Oh."

She leaned forward, and smiled at the football player; "hi."

He immediatly smiled; "hey, great smile. Do you model? You're gorgeous."

"Thank you. And no, I don't. I'm Mandy."

"You're welcome. Adam."

He had dark hair that curled at the neck and green eyes.

Mandy looked at me; "Ashley would you mind...?"

"Moving?"

She nodded; "yeah."

I stood up and she slid next to Adam.

I joined Rachel, Cory, Chris and Amber.

"Oh, I brought scarves," Chris said, pulling them out of his messenger bag.

They were bright pink.

"Ok great. We'll need black jeans and black jackets for the guys," Amber said.

"And um..."

I pantomimed spraying my hair with hairspray, then pushed my fingers into it to make it higher.

"Hairspray?" Rachel supplied.

"Yeah, that. For the guys."

"Well maybe not Puck."

We laughed.

"I'm sure my mom has some stored in the attic," Cory said; "jackets, that is."

"Ok."

"That your sister?" Amber asked, looking at Mandy and Adam talking.

I nodded; "yeah, that's Amanda. Or, Mandy.'

"She's pretty, and she seems to like Adam."

"Thanks."

"She's a little thin though," Chris commented.

"She has, an eating disorder," I explained.

"Oh I'm sorry...I didn't know."

"It's ok. Like you said."

Mandy and Adam approached us. I looked up at them.

"Adam's going to show me where the microwave is, so I can have some of the pasta he brought," she told me.

She held up a small, green container of Healthy Choice pasta.

"Ok," I said.

She, Rachel, Amber, Chris and Cory exchanged introductions, then Mandy and Adam left.

"What about me?" Puck asked, turning around.

"Oh, we were just talking about hairstyles for you guys, for the Grease number, and we said you probably won't need hairspray," Rachel said.

"Oh. What's the hairstyle?"

"An Elvis...thing."

"Bouffant," Chris supplied.

Puck went back to talking with Dianna and the football player.

"This is my brother Mike," Tina told us.

We exchanged introductions.

"Ok Ashley we need to work on your choreography while we wait for Schue. Well, yours and Puck's," Rachel told me.

"Where is he?" Amber asked.

"Not sure."

Rachel, Puck and I stood and went to the piano.

"I was thinking, that you could start with this," Rachel told Puck, who looked at her.

She pointed to herself, then spread her fingers to make jazz hands, palms out. She wiggled her hands down her body, then moved her shoulders up and down.

"Ok," Puck said, watching her.

He tried it.

"Hm..." Rachel said thoughtfully, putting one hand on her hip and another on her bottom lip.

"Yeah?"

"It needs work."

"Yeah I couldn't quite the dance part down."

"Well it's only your first time trying it," I said.

"Here, try this," Rachel offered.

She went through the hand motions, then popped her right shoulder forward. Puck followed. They turned their heads slightly to the right, then to the left, putting the other shoulder in front.

"Good," she said.

He looked at her, waited.

"Ok now try this," she said.

She lowered her head, pointing again at herself then out, then spread her fingers and moved her arms down her body. Puck followed.

"What am I to do?" I asked.

Rachel looked at me; "hold on."

"Ok."

She turned back to Puck; "you practice that while I work with Ashley."

He nodded; "ok."

Rachel turned back to me.

"You're going to be in heels for this."

I nodded; "right, of course. As to be expected."

"Watch me."

Again, I nodded.

She pointed her finger outward, stepping towards me 3 times. She stopped with her right foot in front of her left. She bent her right arm in front of her, her thumb and pointer finger making the 'Ok' sign. Then bent her wrist and her knees. She touched her right knee to the back of her left leg, sinking. She moved her right arm in front of her chest and turned her head to the right.

Then, she bent forward, turned her head and put her left hand on her left thigh, her right hand on top of it. She slid them up, unbending, turning her head to the right. She moved her right finger back and forth. She repeated the steps.

"You try," she told me, when she was done.

I did, with her observing.

"Good."

"What do I do next?" I asked

"Repeat."

"Oh. Ok."

"Try it a couple of times, then rehearse with Puck while I tell the others their choreography."

I did.

"Dianna, Tina, Amber, Brittany and Santana," Rachel said.

They stood up. I joined Puck, and we practiced.

The girls moved to the other side of the piano.

"Ok while they're doing that you'll be doing this..." Rachel told them.

While we rehearsed, out of our peripherals Puck and I watched them rehearse.

They moved from side to side, moving their pointer fingers to either side as they did so. They then did the box step.

"Dianna, you're a little behind," Rachel told her; "try again."

They tried again.

"Tina you're a bit off with the timing," Rachel observed.

They tried again.

"Ok, good. Mike, Cory, Chris and...you," she said to the football player on the bleachers.

"Brian," he supplied.

"Brian, right. This is where you come in."

She looked at Puck and I; "you guys can stop."

We nodded; "ok."

"Pair up," Rachel told them.

Tina and Mike, Amber and Chris, Dianna and Brian, Rachel and Cory and Puck and myself were the pairs. Cory and Rachel moved to the middle of the room.

"You guys can sit back down," Rachel told Brittany and Santana.

"Ok."

They sat back down on the bleachers.

In front of us, Rachel and Cory held hands. He spun her; she ended with her legs bent, her right one behind the left. He put one hand on her back while he dipped her, her outer leg kicking up. They did it again, and they each twirled out, to Dianna and Mike. They did the same with Dianna and Mike.

They walked back to each other, meeting.

"Ok now I want everyone to try it," Rachel told us; "then we'll line up. After, we continue the steps, leaving Ashley and Puck in the center, who will continue what they did in the beginning of the song."

We tried it a couple of times, then lined up opposite each other.

Rachel looked at us; "ok, good. Now watch us. Chris, Amber, over here."

Chris and Amber put their arms raised their arms above their heads. Rachel and Cory danced through their arms, then stood and raised them, locking their hands.

"Ok, everyone try it, then we'll do the whole thing a couple of times," Rachel told us.

We did, and sat back down.

"Good job," she told us.

It was 4:30 by that time.

"Schue's still not here," Amber said.

"Yeah this isn't like him," Chris said.

"No it's not," Rachel said.

At that moment Mandy and Adam walked in, holding hands. They sat down next tome.

"Hey," I greeted Mandy.

"Hey."

"How was the pasta?"

"Good, Adam's really nice. How's rehearsal? Anything new?"

"Well, we learned the dance steps. We're doing 'You're The One I Want', from Grease."

"Oh, cool."

"I'll show you the dance steps," Rachel told Mandy and Adam, looking at them.

"Ok."

They got up, practicing for about 10 minutes.

"Good," Rachel said.

They sat down.

"I'll talk to some of the guys, and ask them if they're interested, since we need 2 more guys," Puck told Rachel.

"Ok great."

It was 4:40 when Mr. Schue walked in, sitting in a blue plastic chair in the middle of the room.

"Hey guys sorry I'm late, I had car trouble."

"It's ok Mr. Schue we were working on choreography," Rachel told him, looking at him.

"Good I'd like to see it. But first, I have a few announcements."

We waited.

"First, since I'm late we'll end at 5:40, instead of 5. Secondly, we'll be performing the Grease number at the pep rally next Friday."

"Wow that's close," I said.

Today was Wednesday.

Mr. Schue looked at me; "I know Ashley but I think you guys can do."

"The cheerleaders are also performing," Brittany told him.

He looked at her; "ok, I'll talk to Sylvester about the scheduling. There will be an all day rehearsal this weekend, both days. So don't make plans. Bring the costuming."

"We're going shopping at some great vintage shops downtown after this," Chris said.

"Ok, great."

"I brought scarves."

Chris held them up.

"Very nice Chris," Mr. Schue told him.

"l'll look in our attic for black leather jackets. I think we have some," Cory said.

"Ok, good. Secondly, we're also performing 2 numbers at the Halloween dance. One from Cats and one from Wicked. I'm counting on Rachel and Dianna to help us with those."

"We will," Dianna said.

"We're also performing something near the start of winter break, but I'm not sure what yet. For those of you who don't know, over break we're going to New York over winter break."

"Are we staying in a hotel?" Tina asked.

"Yeah, we are. I'll need to talk to Ashley and Rachel about that, after."

"Ok," I said.

"I'll help too," Puck said.

"I don't understand," Mr. Schue told him.

"I'm originally from the city."

"Oh ok. The Monday after the pep rally we're going to be rehearsing for both the Halloween dance and the play."

"What's the play?" Mike asked.

"I still haven't decided."

"Ok."

"And the Friday before break we're having an open mic night, which includes singing and poetry reading."

"We need 2 more guys," Puck said.

"That was what I was getting to."

"I'll ask some of the guys, and see if they're interested."

"Ok great. We have 3 new members who haven't officially auditioned."

Mandy, Adam and Brian smiled.

"They'll audition and then I'd like to see what you've put together Rachel," Mr. Schue told her.

"Ok."

Mandy stood up and went to the piano. Mr. Schue pushed the chair he was sitting in to the side of the room and sat on the piano bench.

-XXX-

It was 5:40. Mr. Schue, Rachel, Puck and myself were the only ones left in the choir room. The rest of the group was waiting for us downstairs, outside in the parking lot. We were sitting in uncomfortable dark blue plastic chair.

"Great job today guys," he told us.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're a good chorographer Rachel," he told her.

She smiled.

"I think Amanda, Adam and Brian will be great additions to the club. I'm a little worried about Amanda dancing though."

"Yeah we all are," I told him.

"So, I've been to New York but it's been years. Where is there to stay?"

"Well there's a hotel by Central Park," Puck said.

"Ok I'll book rooms. We could see some shows. What about the Rockettes?"

"I don't want to see them," Rachel aid.

"Ok...what suggestions do you have?"

"The Nutcracker."

"Ok, and how about Billy Elliot?"

"That sounds good. And...Jersey Boys."

"Cool," Puck said.

"And we could go ice-skating," I said.

"Ok. We'll have a bake sale to help pay for it."

"Ok. When?"

"Every day at lunch untill then, starting tomorrow."

"We could also sell ornaments."

"I'll talk to the art teacher about that."

"And those eggs?" Rachel said.

"Ukranian," Mr. Schue told her.

"Yeah, those seem festive."

"They're really hard to make though. I'll ask my grandmother how," Puck said.

Rachel looked confused.

"You know, cause I'm Jewish...which means my family's from Russia...which is..."

By the Ukraine.

"Oh, ok. Right."

"You're free to go," Mr. Schue told us.


	102. Chapter 10111111111122222222222

Rachel

During rehearsal dianna put her hand over her mouth and ran out of the room. Chris, amber, puck and I all stood.

"ill get her," puck said.

I looked at him; "no I will. If shes sick then shes probably in the womens restroom."

"yeah. Exactly."

"you only want to go after her so you can have-" amber pointed out.

"amber this isn't health class," mr. schue told her.

"what does he mean by that?"

"ill explain later," chris said.

"ok."

Amber looked at puck; "and not bc you care."

"hey I care."

"yeah enough to get her knocked up again," santanna said.

I looked at mr. schue; "mr. schue? Is it alrite if I go?"

"yes Rachel."

"ok."

I left the room.

I went down the quiet hall.

I wanted to spend more time w/ dianna as id been noticing her more lately. I had feelings for her. She was beautiful in a classic way. And just as distant sometimes.

Id reached the bathroom. I went in. it was cold.

"dianna?" I asked.

"go away," she said.

"its Rache."

"yeah I know."

"whats wrong?"

"im sick."

Well i knew that.

"youre not…"

"im not what?"

"youre not pregnant again are you?"

"no. I, didn't have lunch."

"oh dianna," I said backing up against the wall; "why?"

"shouldn't you be in rehearsal?"

"mr. schue said it was ok for me to go."

"oh. And the cheerleading coach says we need to lose weight."

"but youre not. Um. Fat."

"yes Rachel I know that!"

Oh.

"oh. Im sorry I hadn't meant to annoy."

"no I know its not you. Im just. Hungry."'

"well I have some cranberries in my purse if you want them."

"I don't know maybe."

"ok."

"youre not going back to rehearsal?" she asked.

"no. people need company when theyre not well."

"why are you being so nice to me?"

"because I like you dianna."


	103. Chapter 105555555555666666

**Evan**

When we got to the ER, they rolled Kate into a room where they gave her antiemetics to help with the vomiting. After awhile, she passed out, either from blood loss or exhaustion. Or both. They gave her and Anna anesteshia and wheeled Anna into another room. They were given anasteshia to prepare them for the blood transplant.

After Dad and Tom went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, Dad and I sat in the waiting room. Tom, Alexa, Mom and Louisa had gone off somewhere. The others were back at the house, probably sleeping.

"Well. At least she's asleep now," Dad said.

"Yeah I'm not sure that's an entirely good thing," I replied.

"I know your mom feels guilty."

"Yeah but what can she do? She's always at work and pretty tired by the time she gets home. She's gotta sleep some time."

Dad exhaled; "you're right Evan. How's Amanda?"

"Well. Not great. She was sick earlier today. Yesterday. I have no idea what time it is. It's been such a long day."

"Yeah. It has. With what?"

"She was shivering, wrapped in blankets, on my bathroom floor. Dizzy, nauseous. Said she was too sick to get up and get anything."

"Sounds a lot like Kate. Did she have heart palpitations? Leg pain?"

I said nothing.

"Evan. Did she have. Any. Heart palpitations or leg pain," Dad repeated very slowly.

"Idinno I didn't ask didn't check."

"Evan. I told you to always check."

"Hey, look," I said, standing; "don't get mad at me because _you_ spend all _your _life centering things around Kate." And doesn't have time to check.

"It's mostly your mom who does that."

At that moment Louisa walked into the room still dressed in her light blue pajamas.

"Evan," she said, looking at me.

"Hey. Whatsup?" I asked, looking at her.

"I need you to drive me somewhere."

At 14, neither Louisa or Amanda were old enough to drive.

"Alrite where?" I asked.

"Um."

"Louisa, I'm not going to take you there if I don't know where it is. For all I know you could be hooking up with a college senior."

"I know but," she looked pointedly at Dad.

"Oh."

"Hey, I get it. You don't want me around," Dad said, standing and holding his hands up.

He walked down the hall.

"What's that about?" Louisa asked, collapsing into the seat beside me Dad had been sitting in.

"He's a little peeved right now Louisa and quite frankly, so'm I," I answered, clearly annoyed.

"Whoa. Dude. Chill. What the hell's up?" she asked, using my phrases.

"Dad. Mom. Kate. Amanda. You know. The usual crap."

She nodded; "right."

"Dad got all mad cuz I didn't check Amanda for heart palpitations or ask her if she had leg pain."

"Hey, sometimes people forget. The man's gotta calm down sometimes. And...frankly..."

"my dear I don't give a damn," I quoted.

"Hmm?"

"_Gone With The Wind_. I actually do care. Seem to be the only one who does round here."

"Ohhh. And frankly...so does Mom."

"I hear ya," I said.

"Pamela, on the other hand, is quite calm. And gorgeous."

I looked at my sister, surprised; "You...like...Pam?"

"Um well yeah. Have you _seen_ her Evan?"

"Um, you _do _realise she's with Mom?"

I was stating Louisa couldn't date Pam because Pam was taken.

"Yeah, but hey. A girl can dream."

"And yes, Louisa, matter of fact I have seen her. Can't say she's not foxy. I can say, however, that I'm already taken."

"Lucky," my sister muttered; "she cuts?"

"Oh, my god you sound just like Amanda."

"Um, yeah. We're twins Evan."

"Thank you captain obvious!"

"You're welcome lieutenant sarcasm!"

We burst into giggles.

"Omygod," Louisa said after we were done.

She was smiling.

"Yeah, she's a knockout. Gorgeous. Sweet, and according to Katie, just lovely," I told Louisa.

"Everything you want in a girl," she told me.

"Yes, and everything you do too."

"Yes but you're my brother so that...wouldn't work out."

As in, were Rebecca and Louisa to get together that'd be weird.

I looked at her; "my _goodness_ Louisa! What is wrong with you?"

"Oh please Evan. Just because I'm 14 doesn't mean I'm not experienced," she looked at the tiles on the ceiling.

"Wait. What? You...?" I asked, eluding to the fact that my younger by 4 years sister had had sex.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Wow. But you're..."

"What, you think 2 women can't?" she asked, looking at me, smiling and lifting an eyebrow.

"Um, but they won't...er, you know." Get pregnant.

"Yeah that's kinda the point."

"Oh."'

"Evan, I'm not stupid. I'm not going to end up pregnant at 14. Or...ever, really."

"I know. You know what happened to Amanda, right?" I asked, bringing the conversation back down to earth.

She nodded; "and to Mom. And to me."

"Oh sweetie," I said.

She looked at me, a little surprised at the words that had just come out of my mouth.

"Oh. Sorry I'm sorry...sometimes I get really comfortable with a person and then it just...sputters out," I prattled.

"It's ok it feels nice."

She put her head on my shoulder. Her hair smelled like Dove.

"You smell nice," I commented.

"Thanks. It's Dove."

"I know. Mandy uses the same thing."

"So how was it?" I asked.

"Freakin fantastic."

"Wow."

I was still in my black jeans and t shirt. Even though the others had gone off, when we'd arrived they'd been dressed in their pajamas.

"Hey," Louisa said after awhile.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Thanks for driving."

"Wow."

I was surprised.

"What?"

"No one usually..." thanks me.

"Well I just did. So just take it and stop being so..."

"Such a guy?"

Louisa nodded; "yeah."

"Oh, I can't help that. And you're welcome."

She stared up at the ceiling tiles. Dad hadn't come back yet. The hospital was cold and smelled of medicine.

"66," Louisa said.

"Hmm?"

"66. In _Virgin Suicides_ the guy says there are 66 ceiling tiles on the ceiling of his classroom. Or is it 66 dots on each tile? I'm not sure."

"Oh."

I ran over the words of her explanation in my mind and the word 'suicide' jumped out.

"Are you eluding to anything Louisa?" I asked.

"Idinno. Why?"

"Well you just said Virgin Suicides. And...there's you, Mandy, Ashley..." I counted off the blonde females in the family on my fingers.

I was making the connection to the blondes in the movie and my own blonde sisters.

"Oh. Idinno."

"Ok. Cuz you know you can tell me anything."

"I do. Thanks."

"Mmhmm."

"Just like Kate's blood," my sister said distractedly.

"Hmmm?"

"You said...sometimes, it sputters out. The whole...terms of endearment, thing."

"Right."

"Just like Kate's blood."

"Ohhh."

"Why is it always about Kate? Or Mandy? Why not me or Alexa? Or Marie, Rose, Lily?" Louisa asked in frustration.

"Well, Katie's..."

"Sick. Yes and so's...Amanda. That's all anyone seems to talk about."

"Is that what you meant by your comment to Mom?" I quietly asked.

Louisa nodded.

"Wow. Well. What _about_ you?"

she leaned forward and pushed up the sleeves of her shirt, revealing cuts in prefect lines on her light skin.

"Oh Louisa. God. I..." I began.

"Don't tell me not to."

"I wasn't. I was going to apologise."

For. That she felt she had to do this.

I looked into her light blue eyes.

"Um"

"Just take it," I told her.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

"What happened to your arm?" she asked, noticing the burn mark.

"Dad told me to put out my cigerette. He never said where," I returned, smiling.

"Wow Evan. You are such an ass," she said dryly.

"Well. Thank you."

"And...conceited."

"You sound just like..."

"Amanda?" she asked, lifting one eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"You know those pearl earrings Rose was wearing the other day?" Louisa asked.

I nodded, picturing the pearl earrings dangling from our sister's pale ears.

"Yeah. They're not hers."

"Macy's?" I guessed.

"Yep."

"You know the bottle of cabarnet you hid in the linen closet that's now half empty?" Louisa asked.

"Uh huh."

"Yeah, Lily drank it."

"Wow."

I leaned forward, my arms on my thighs.

"You know, the warehouse that's...supposedly disappeared?" I asked Louisa slowly.

It was her turn to nod.

"Yeah. It caught fire quite nicely the other day."

"You...?" my sister asked.

Set fire to it?

"Mmm hmmm."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Everyone lies man. Even us, our family. Remember that old M&Ms commercial?" she asked.

"Uh huh. Melts in your mouth not in your hand."

"No one's who they seem. Even the damn people who write those commercials. Rose tells Mom an' Dad when they ask, that a friend got her the jewelry, the clothes. She gives the security tags to me and I hide them in a pair of old snow boots I never wear. Mom and Dad think I've gotten rid of them, the boots. That's why I hide my cuts."

"Hey. I walk to the places I set fire to so they won't trace the plates on the jeep."

"I got one tip for ya man," Louisa said, leaning forward.

"Yeah what is it?" I asked.

"Never, leave a calling card. Rose did that once...and it was hell to pay."

"Yeah, so did Dad."

"Oh. Did you know, that Marie's a prostitute?"

"Yeah actually I did. I was the one that found her."

"Found, her?" my sister questioned.

"The district. She looked pretty awful. A friend of hers was murdered the night before, when she was with a customer."

"Keisha?"

I nodded.

"Is that why Dad won't talk to Marie?" Louisa asked, suddenly understanding.

"Yeah."

"Oh jeez."

"She won't talk to Pam or Mom either. But apparently talks to Ashley."

"And me."

"Oh."

"They think they've got us all fukin figured out-" Louisa began.

"When they really haven't a clue," I finished.

"Yeah they-"

"Couldn't be more wrong."

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Where'dya need to go?" I asked.

"Back to the house."

"Alrite, I'll drive you," I said, standing.

We walked out of the hospital together.


	104. Chapter 1066666666677777

**Louisa**

When we got to the hospital that night I texted Cherie. Within a few minutes she'd arrived in the hospital. She was walking quickly down the hall to where I was sitting w/ my mom who was waiting for news about Kate. Cherie was in black leather.

"Hey kitten I just got your text what happened are you ok is Kate ok?" she asked as I stood and hugged her.

She smelled like smoke and leather and cologne.

"Oh I'm so glad you're here," I said.

"You know I wouldn't be anywhere else," she told me.

I smiled.

Mom stood cleared her throat.

"Um," she said looking at me.

I turned to face her Cherie and I holding each other.

"Oh sorry. Mom this is my," I began.

"It's ok go ahead. I mean we are so what's the point in hiding it?" Cherie told me.

The thing I'd come to notice about her was that she didn't care what anyone thought of her.

"This is my girlfriend Cherie. We met at school. Cherie this is my mom Mrs. Brewer," I introduced.

I smiled w/ pride.

I decided not to tell my mom we'd met at an underage bar.

Cherie leaned forward and shook Mom's hand.

"It's nice to meet you dear. You remind me of Bowie," Mom said.

"I love Bowie! And nice to meet you too," Cherie cried.

"Yeah I did too," Mom looked wistful, "and myself at your age. How old are you if you don't mind my asking?"

"Oh it's fine. I'm 17."

"Oh."

We sat down.

"Thanks for coming," I said.

"Of course," Cherie said.

"Kate got sick last night and had to be rushed here. And here we are waiting."

"I remember that w/ Sandy."

"She's lost a lot of blood. Apparently. According to Tom Alexa's boyfriend. So she'll need a transplant which annas giving her. So it could be awhile."

"Wow. I take it this happens a lot?"

I nodded; "yeah."

"You're still in your pajamas."

"Yeah I, didn't have time to change."

"I figured."

Mom stood.

"I'm going to get some coffee," she muttered to no one in particular.

She left.

"And then Dad got all mad at Evan for not checking Mandy for leg pain or heart palpitations or any of the usual symptoms."


	105. Chapter 107777777888888888

**Jesse**

After they'd taken Amanda to a room, I walked down the long white tile hall, away from Evan and Rebecca. Tom, Alexa and Karen were all here. Everyone else, with the exception of Amanda, Kate and Anna, was back at the house, probably still asleep.

I sat in a comfortable blue chair in an empty hallway, my hands folded in front of me on my thighs.

_Kate, _I told my sister.

_I miss you. As you may or may not know my own daughter's going through the same thing you went through. I don't want her to die. Soon, that is. We don't know how much longer she has. The other day she was listening to Eva Cassidy, who was 33 when she died of cancer. You were younger than that when you died. Just 16. If my own daughter lives past that she'll have outlived you. If she lives past 20 she'll have outlived Anna._

I was referring to our sister Anna, who had died in a car accident when she was just 20.

_How's Dad doing up there?_

_I'm scared. Yes, I may appear calm on the surface but that's only because Karen's not. I'm scared for Amanda I'm scared for Kate. The other day I looked at my son and for the first time in a very long time he looked afraid. Had he always been afraid and I just never noticed?_

_I miss you Kate. I love you._


	106. Chapter 10888888999999999

**Tom**

After I called Pam to let her know where we were, I walked down a long empty white tile hallway and saw Mr. Fitzgerald sitting in a comfortable blue empty chair, his head bowed over his hands which were on his thighs. Pam was a woman Mrs. Brewer had been friends w/ in high school and had recently met up w/ at their 25th high school reunion. Id gotten her number from alexa who'd gotten her number from her dad.

"Um. Mr. Fitzgerald?" I asked, not wanting to interrupt.

He looked up.

"Oh hey Tom," he said.

"Hi. I don't mean to interrupt," I apologised.

"That's ok, I was done."

"With?"

"I was talk, uh, praying, to Kate."

"Alexa's aunt?"

He nodded.

I walked closer to him.

"It's ok. I do that sometimes too. My mom died of cancer."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. I miss her."

"Yeah. I miss my sister."

"You look tired," I observed, sitting down on the empty chair next to him.

"Yeah. I am. How's Alexa?"

"Ok I guess. Better than...you know."

He swallowed; "yeah."

I meant better than Kate and Amanda.

"I called Pam," I said.

"Oh. Good. Anything changed?"

"No, not really."

"Oh."

"I don't mean to be intrusive Mr. Fitzgerald but when was the last time you got any sleep?"

He sighed; "Idinno Tom. Karen gets more sleep than I do lately."

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah that would be great."

He started to stand.

"No, it's ok I'll get it," I said, standing; "you just stay here."

I walked down the hall.


	107. Chapter 109999999999999000000000

**Evan**

I got up and walked down the white tile hall a few yards, where I saw Dad sitting in a comfortable blue chair.

"Hey," I said.

"Oh. Hi Evan," he said, looking up.

I sat down in a comfortable blue empty chair next to him.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Tired. I was just talking to Aunt Kate."

I nodded; "right."

"How are you?"

"Ok, tired. There's nothing new to report."

"Right, Tom just mentioned that."

"How is he?"

"Alrite. He seems pretty stable. He's getting coffee right now."

"Mmm."

"Where's Karen?"

"Not sure."


	108. Chapter 110

**Evan**

Louisa had texted me and told me her friend wanted a ride to the house where she was. I'd told Rebecca I was leaving to drive her friend to the house. I was waiting outside the entrance to the hospital in the dark smoking when behind me someone came out.

"Hey," she whoever it was said from behind me approaching me.

She stood beside me.

"Can I have one?"

I guessed she was referring to the cigerettes.

"Yeah sure," I said giving one to her.

She took it in her slim fingers.

"And a lighter? I left mine at home," she asked annoyed.

"Oh, yeah sorry."

I got it out of my pants pocket and gave it to her. She lit up.

"Thanks," she said handing it back to me.

"Sure," I said taking it.

I put it back in my pocket.

"So you're Evan?" she asked.

I looked at her noticing what a striking woman she was. Even in the dark.

"Yeah and you're…"

"…Cherie Louisa's friend. Well. Girlfriend. Actually. We met at an underage bar where I work. Something tells me I can be completely honest w/ you Evan."

"Well. You can. Nice to meet you."

"Thanks you too. Lets go I wanna see my kitten."

"Your…your kitten?" I asked as we walked to my jeep.

"Oh. that's what I call Louisa. And that's, what my dad calls me."

I smiled.


	109. Chapter 111

Lily and I were talking in the living room when Cherie walked in.

"Hey where's the face paint?" she asked.

"Um. I'm…not sure," I answered.

"Oh."

"It might be in the linen closet. Or bathrooms. Or actually. The attic. Dad would know," Lily answered.

"Ok."

Cherie must've been driven to the house by someone who'd let her in.

"Hey you must be Cherie," Lily told her standing and approaching her.

"Yes I am."

"Your sister and I were literally just talking about you. She was telling me all about you. She's right you are something," Lily told her.

She smiled; "oh well thank you. And you are….?"

"Oh right I'm Lily."

"Lily. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too. So I hear you like Bowie."

"Oh I love Bowie!"

"m

M e too which one of his is your fave?"

"I don't know there are so many."

"I know and he was so. Um. Versatile. I mean there was Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane….oh so many."

"Yeah I know."

Cherie walked into the room.

"Why are the lights off? I mean besides that it's night," she asked.

"Oh I like the reflection the candles make in the mirror. Er. How they look," my sister replied.

"Oh. Ok. Cool."

They sat down Lily on the floor and Cherie next to me.

"Oh is that a cat I love cats!" Cherie asked as Luna climbed onto her lap.

"Yeah that's Luna," Lily supplied.

"That's weird," I said.

"Hm?" Cherie looked from the cat to me.

"She usually wont be around people."

"Yeah not even me and I'm her mother. In a sense," Lily said.

"Well I'm different. Then. I guess," Cherie said.

"You most certainly are," I said.

"Yeah but you're also cool," Lily said.

Cherie turned back to the cat; "hello gorgeous."

"Hey I thought I was gorgeous," I joked.

She looked at me; "you are. But you're also. My kitten."

"Yes well."

I smiled.

"How '50's," Lily said.

"Yeah well it's what my father calls me."

"Oh."

"It's really sweet. And I kindof really love it," I said.

"Well good then. You'll stay my kitten."


	110. Chapter 112

**Jesse**

After Tom brought me some coffee, he left. Evan had also left.

A doctor we knew came walking down the long narrow white tile hall. He was tall w/ dark hair and eyes. He was my height 5'6.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," he said when he reached me.

"Yes?" I asked, standing; "How's Kate?"

"Come with me," he said.

I knew enough about doctors to know that they never gave you bad news in the waiting room.

I followed him down the hallway into an operating room. A curtain was pulled between the bed Kate was resting in and the one Anna was resting in.

"You might want to sit down for this," he told me.

He pulled 2 uncomfortable dark blue plastic chairs over and sat in one. I sat in the other.

"Unfortunatey the transfusion didn't go as well as we'd hoped. Both your daughters are asleep right now."

"What does this mean?" I asked.

"Because Kate's been so sick lately her immune system's down," the doctor answered.

I already knew this was why Kate had gotten the flu several times, because her body couldn't fight off infection.

"Which means that her system started attacking Anna's blood."

I knew Karen would want to know about the platelets.

"We did, however, give her more platelets to make up for the blood loss."

"Ok."

"We also filtered her neutrophils and lymphocytes in order to kill off some of the ones that were making her sick."

I nodded.

"She'll probably be sick for awhile because her body's trying to get used to this."

I nodded, again.

"We havent' weighed her yet but my guess is that she's lost about 10 to 20 pounds."

"More?" I asked.

"Yes, Mr. Fitzgerald."

"What else can you do for her? How's Anna?"

"Well, we're going to keep Kate here for a few days. Once she wakes up we'll weigh her."

I nodded.

"Is there anyone else you know of who might be a potential match?"

"My son," I replied.

"Ok. We'll need for him to take a blood test. Is he here?"

"Yeah. How's Anna?" I repeated my previous question.

"She's ok, really tired. We found a few bruises on her while we were operating. Do you know about this?"

"No. What about Amanda?" I asked.

"I'm not the person to talk to about that. I'll have Alice page Dr. Marcus."

"Ok, thank you." I said, standing.

The doctor stood as well.

"You're welcome."

-XXX-

I followed Alice down the hall, into a silver elevator, to the next floor and into an empty room where we both sat down. She had dark hair and eyes. She was Karen's height 5'4. She was big and pillowy.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," she said.

"Yes. How's Amanda?" I asked.

"She's lost quite a bit of weight, about 20 to 30 pounds. She used to be 112."

Which was 2 pounds more than Kate had been the last time she'd been hospitalised.

I did the quick calculations in my head, discovering Amanda now weighed 92 or 82 and Kate weighed 90 or 80.

"But that would make her..." I said.

"92 or 82 pounds, yes."

No wonder she'd felt so light.

"Has she been taking diet pills?" Alice asked me.

"No, not that I'm aware of."

"She passed out because she didn't have enough oxygen in her brain due to lack of eating."

I nodded.

"Has she had her period yet?"

Alice had said 'yet'. Not asked when was the last time Amanda had her period. I knew, a few weeks after Kate's 13th birthday she'd gotten hers.

"Well, we have boxes of tampons and pads in our bathrooms, so I presume so."

"Her BMI is about 14, Mr. Fitzgerald, which signals a problem."

Amanda was about 5'3. I knew BMI was calculated by your weight and height. She had a lower BMI than most women her age which is why it was a problem.

"When my son and I found Amanda in the bathroom she was wrapped in blankets, shivering."

Alice nodded, then asked: "how has her sleeping been?"

"Ever since she turned 13 Amanda's always had a strange sleeping schedule. Some days she'd sleep instead of being awake."

"Mmmhmm. What about leg pain?"

"I don't know."

"How has her concentration been lately?"

"Well, sometimes it will take her a minute or 2 to answer a question."

"Mr. Fitzgerald," Alice said, leaning forward, "when a person stops eating their body forces them to stay awake in search for food. It's an evolutionary tactic. As you know, food makes you warmer, which is why she was shivering."

I nodded.

"The insomnia you've described is due to the evolotuinary tactic. I asked about leg pain because when a person stops eating, after awhile their leg muscles will hurt due to lack of nutrients."

"Oh. What can you do for her?" I asked.

"Well, we've got her hooked up to an IV right now that's bringing the much needed nutrients into her body. We've also given her meds to help her sleep. Unfortunately, there isn't much else we can do for her right now, as anorexia's not a purely physical illness, unlike Kate's leukemia."

Anorexia?

"Anorexia?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes Mr. Fitzgerald. We'd like to keep her here for a few days. Is there anyone else in the family who has or has had an eating disorder?"

"Karen."

"Would it be ok with you if I talked with Karen?"

I nodded, standing.

"Thank you Alice."

"Dad," Evan called as I was walking down the hall.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning around.

Rebecca was standing behind my son. Tom and Alexa were behind them.

"How is she?" Evan asked.

I knew he meant Kate, Anna and Amanda.

"Well..." I replied.

We walked down the hall to the waiting room where we arranged our uncomfortable dark blue plastic chairs in a circle.

"How's Kate, Mr. Fitzgerald?" Rebecca asked.

"Well...unfortunately, Kate's body rejected Anna's blood," I told them.

"Why?" Tom asked.

"From what the doctor said, Kate's immune system had been down, which is why Kate's body rejected the transfusion."

"Oh. What else?" Alexa asked.

"They gave her more platelets and filtered her blood cells in order to kill off some of the cells that were making her sick."

Evan, who had been following this, said "I'll do it Dad."

I looked at him; "do what?"

"If they need to do a blood test to give Kate more blood, another transfusion, I'll do it."

"Oh. Yeah I mentioned that to the doctor, that you'd be a match."

"How's Kate now?" Rebecca asked.

"Well, she'll probably be sick for awhile. They want to keep her for the next few days."

"How's Anna?" Tom asked.

"She's ok, really tired."


	111. Chapter 113

**Evan**

After informing Tom, Alexa, Rebecca and I how Kate and Anna were doing, Dad walked down the hall.

"Excuse me," I said, getting up.

"Sure," Tom said.

I followed my dad down the hall.

"Dad!" I called.

He whirled around; "yeah Evan?"

"There's something you're not telling me. Us," I said.

He sighed, collapsing into a chair. I sat down into the chair next to him.

"You're right Evan," he told me.

"So what's going on?" I asked.

He leaned forward.

"They haven't weighed Kate yet but they're guessing she's lost 20 to 30 pounds more."

I calculated this in my head; "so that means she's...down to 80 or 90."

"Yes Evan."

"Wow. How's Aamanda?"

"Well, apparently, she has an eating disorder. She's down to 82 or 92."

"Wow. That's only 2 more than Kate right now."

"Yeah Evan. I know. They've got Amanda hooked up to an IV and have given her meds to help her sleep."

I nodded; "mmmhmm."

"According to what Alice told me, insomnia's an evolutionary tactic that kicks in when your body doesn't have enough food in it. It forces you to stay awake in search for food."

"Oh."

Dad filled me in on the rest of the details, including Mandy's BMI which was about 14 from what Alice told him.

-XXXX-

After he went with the doctor for a few minutes, Dad came back down the hall and sat next to me.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," he returned.

"What was that about?"

"Kate has graft-versus-host now."

"Oh."

Dad's sister had had that.

"A few days after they gave Kate more of Anna's bone marrow, the doctors discovered this," Dad stated.

"Mmmhmm."

"Her body rejected the marrow. It recognized it as foreign and began attacking it," Dad explained.

"Mmmhmm."

"Because her immune system's been down it hasn't been able to fight off infection."

"Right."

"And the graft-versus-host will make her sicker."

"...causing her to lose more weight," I realised.

"Yes. They've got her hooked up to an IV right now that's bringing her corticosteroids."

"Oh."

Alice came walking down the hall.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," she said.

Dad stood up; "yes?"

"You have a phone call."


	112. Chapter 114

**Thursday**

**Louisa**

When I woke up that morning the first thing I saw were Evan's dark brown eyes peering down at me. I felt the thin white sheets of a thin narrow white hospital bed under my hands. I felt awful. I had a headache and was more tired than usual.

"Hey," my brother said.

"Hi."

"How ya doin?"

"Um, well, I feel pretty damn awful."

"Yeah you look pretty damn awful," he returned.

"Oh you're so helpful. What the hell happened?"

"You passed out from the alcohol. And then I brought you here. You've been out ever since."

"Oh jeez. Is that why I feel so awful?"

"Yes Louisa. Sobering up's a bitch. There's not much you can do. Oh, but you should eat something. To get something else in you besides the alcohol."

"You're telling me I should eat something?" I asked, finding this ironic; "But Mandy's the one who..."

"Yeah I know. But I've gone through enough alcoholic nights myself to know this much," he said, sitting down on a white bed to the side of mine.

"I'm not at all hungry."

Which was true. I'd completely lost my appetite.

"Yeah I know how that is. Least you're not drunk."

"Oh, my god."

"It's hell."

"Like we don't live in hell?"

"Ok, point taken. Here," he handed me a small thin white paper cup of water, "drink this."

After Evan left I pulled out my small black cell phone and called my friend Pansy.

"Yeah hello?" our friend Lauren asked.

"Lauren?" I said, sniffling.

"Louisa what's wrong?" she asked.

"Is Pansy there?"

"Yeah."

"I really need to talk to you."

"Alrite where are you?"

"At the hospital."

"We can't drive hun," Lauren reminded me.

"I, I know. I'll ask Evan if he can bring you."


	113. Chapter 115

**Wednesday**

**11 a.m.**

**Jesse**

After Evan drove Louisa to our house, he came back to the ER where he and I drove to his place in his jeep, which had once been mine. When we got there, he went to check on Amanda. I pulled out a chair from the round table to the right of the door and sat in it. Across from me was a woman my son's age, sitting on the black leather couch. She was beautiful, with small features similar to my daughter Kate's who looked a lot like my sister Kate, Evan's aunt. She was thin, wearing a thin, long sleeve v neck white dress that covered part of her delicate feet. She had long thin hair that fell in soft small waves down her back. The kind that looked red in the sunlight.

"Hello," she said when she saw me.

"Hi," I greeted her.

"Would you like anything to drink? Tea, water, coffee?"

"No I'm good. Thanks though."

"You're welcome."

Her thin lips smiled.

"I'm Rebecca by the way," she informed me.

Her voice was soft and quiet.

"Hey, I'm Mr. Fitzgerald," I replied.

"Oh, Evam's dad."

I nodded; "yep."

She crossed one of her thin legs over the other. The movement made her dress ripple.

"You know, you look a lot like my sister did," I mentioned.

"Kate, right?" she guessed.

"Yeah how'd you...?"

"Oh, Evan told me. We're involved."

"Oh."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Oh, but don't worry Mr. Fitzgerald. He hasn't hurt me or anything," Rebecca informed me, assuring me.

"Ok. How'd you 2 meet?"

"In the district."

"Oh."

"Hey Dad I think we need to take Amanda to the..." Evan said, coming into the room.

His voice trailed off.

"Oh. Rebecca. I see you've already met my dad," Evan said.

She looked up at him from her spot on the couch.

"Yes," was all she said.

"She's very polite. And beautiful. I can see why you like her," I told my son.

"Um. Right. Anyway we need to get Amanda to the hospital," he said.

"Did you check her-"

But was interrupted by Evan; "yes Dad I checked her vitals."

He turned to Rebecca; "how long she been out?"

"The past hour or so."

"Oh."

Out?

Of what?

"Out?" I asked.

"She's in the bathroom," Evan stated.

Rebecca and I stood up and followed Evan into his small white bathroom. I let Rebecca go ahead of me into the room.

Amanda was on the floor covered by blankets.

"Oh my god," I said, bending down to the floor.

"Amanda? Honey?" I asked.

She was shivering. I could see the outline of her bones through her silk blouse.

I looked up at Evan and Rebecca.

"You're right. We do have to get her to the hospital. Cmon help me pick her up."

They bent down and folded my thin fragile daughter into my thick arms. She was lighter than I thought she'd be.

"Wow. She's so...small," I said, tears springing to my eyes.

I looked down at the unconscious peaceful girl in my arms.

"She's so beautiful," Evan reminded me as we walked across the apartment.

"She is," Rebecca agreed.

"Shit she's lost weight," Evan said surprised.

I was too distracted by Amanda to reprimand my only son on his swearing.

"She hasn't been eating Mr. Fitzgerald," Rebecca explained.

"I. I know," I said.

For the first time in a very long time I wished my sister Kate was still here.

"Dad?" Evan asked.

I looked at him. For the first time in a very long time I saw fear growing in his large brown eyes. The same shade as my own. As Anna's. He looked so much like me.

Had the fear always been there and I'd just not noticed? Or was everything else covering it because he knew if anything happened to me he'd be the man of the house?

"Yeah...yeah?" I managed.

"Will Amanda be ok?"

I heard something else in his voice too. Asking if Kate would be ok. If we all would.

He and Rebecca looked at me expectantly.

"Let's hope to God she will be."

Somehow, I knew Evan knew I meant both Amanda and Kate.

How had this happened so quickly without us even noticing?


	114. Chapter 117

**Louisa**

When Pamela, Hannah, Rose, Lily, Ashley and myself got to the big white hospital they went with Dad.

"Louisa," Evan said as soon as we entered the hospital.

He grabbed my arm to stop me from following the others.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking into his color-changing eyes which were now silver.

Their other color was brown.

"I need to talk to you."

"Ok about what?"

"Kate and Mandy."

He led me down the white tile hall and into an empty patient room.

"Whatsup?" I asked, sitting down in a chair.

"Well, when they tried to give Kate Anna's blood transfusion, Kate's body rejected it," Evan told me, also sitting.

"Why?"

"Her immune system's so low that somehow her body attacked Anna's blood."

"Oh."

"They gave her platelets to make up for the lost blood, and filtered her blood cells in order to kill the ones that have been making her sick. They want to keep her here for a few days. She'll probably be sick for awhile."

"Big surprise there," I muuttered.

"Evan," I said, turning my head and looking at him; "Katie's _always_ sick."

"Yeah. I know. She needs to have another transfusion. I told Dad I'd do it."

"Ok."

"She's lost about as much weight as Amanda," he told me.

"Which is?"

"20 to 30 pounds."

"More?" I asked, my eyebrows rising.

"For Kate, yes."

"Damn. How's Mandy?"

"Asleep. They gave her some meds to help her sleep because apparently, insomnia's a survival tactic."

The less you eat the more your body forces you to stay awake in search for food.

"Yeah I know. I remember her sleepless nights from lack of food."

"That's exactly what Alice said," my brother told me, referring to the nurse our family knew.

"What else she tell ya?"

"Well, apparent Mandy's BMI is about 14. She passed out due to lack of oxygen from..."

"...lack of food."

"Mmmhmm. She asked Dad if Mandy'd gotten her period yet."

"Evan," I said; "those boxes, the Midol, the pads...they're only there for show. She hasn't gotten her period in about a month."

"Yeah I figured as much. Like you said Louisa everyone lies."

"Mmmhmmmm."

"She's cold from lack of food as well."

I nodded; "right."

"And Kate's also hooked up to an IV."

"Ok."

"So how'r you?" Evan asked, smiling.

"A bit drunk," I answered, giggling.

"Drunk or inebriated?"

"Um I...don't know. There's a difference?"

"Oh yeah. Trust me Louisa. There's a big fukin difference."

He looked at me.

"Your pupils are quite large darlin," he told me in a fake southern accent.

I burst into giggles.

"Jeeez you're buzzed," he told me, looking at the ceiling; "what were you drinkin?"

"Lil...Lily found another bottle of cabarnet in the linen closet," I managed.

"Oh."

"Jeez could we kill the lights?" I asked, suddenly blinded by the hospital's bright lights.

"Headache?" Evan guessed.

"Yeah, ow."

"Unfortunately Louisa there's not much anyone can do. Once you have alcohol in your system you can't mix it with pills."

"Oh."

"It's the sulfites."

"The what?" I asked.

"The chemicals in red wine that give you headaches."

"Oh."

And then the dizziness hit me.


	115. Chapter 120

**Jesse**

Evan and I were sitting in the waiting room when the doctor came down the hall.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," he called.

"Yes?" I called back, looking up.

"Would you come with me?"

"I'll be right back," I told Evan, standing.

"Sure," he replied.

I followed the doctor down the hall and into an empty room where we both sat.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," the doctor said.

I looked at him, waiting.

"After we gave Kate more bone marrow we discovered she had graft-versus-host."

I was familiar with this term. My sister had had it. This indicated something had happened. Something wasn't supposed to.

"My sister had that," I said.

"So you're familiar with it then."

I nodded.

"Again, Kate's body rejected Anna's marrow."

This wasn't the first time it had happened.

"Mmmhmm."

"This is another reason why Kate's immune system is down. She may become even sicker, therefore causing her to lose more weight than she already has," the doctor explained.

This was not news I wanted to hear.

"We're giving her corticosteroids via an IV in order for her body to hopefully reverse the effects."


	116. Chapter 121

**Louisa**

Within the next hour my friends Lauren and Pansy arrived in my hospital room. They came in and sat on my bed on either side of me. There was barely enough room for the 3 of us.

"What's wrong?" Lauren asked at the same time Pansy asked "are you ok?".

"Well I feel pretty awful," I replied.

"Why?" Lauren asked.

"I had a drink last night."

"At a bar? You're...14," Pansy told me.

"Yes, Pansy, thank you for reminding me of that."

"Sorry."

"And no, not at a bar."

"Oh. Then where?"

"The house. With Lily."

"Oh."

"Why?" Lauren wanted to know.

"I don't know how to deal."

"With?"

"Everything."

"Everything being?"

"Kate. Amanda."

"Oh. So, the usual then?"

I nodded; "yeah. And Evan told me Mom's been in a car accident."

"Omygod."

"Is she ok?" Pansy asked.

Lauren turned her head and looked at Pansy; "no, obviously not Pansy."

She turned to me; "so what happened?"

"On her way to work she was hit by a drunk driver. She's at the ER at St. Luke's. They don't know anything yet."

"Oh."

"I should tell Mom," Pansy muttered; "who's, not here."

My mom and Pansy's had been friends when they were younger. Pansy's mom toured with a ballet company.

-XXXX-

I went to the same school as Mandy, Lauren and pansy which is how I know Lauren and pansy. But it goes back even further. Pansy's mom Margo was a friend of my moms when Karen was in high school. Pansy's in a touring ballet company. Pansy doesn't eat and neither does her daughter. Margo has several other siblings Mallory, Vanessa, Claire, Adam, nick, brain and Jordan. Her brothers work as drug and alcohol counsellors at both my school and Ashley's. And as for Lauren her mom Renee was the girlfriend of David a brother of my mom's. Renee has a twin also named Lauren for whom her daughter's named. They have 2 other siblings Brian and Tina w/ the twins being in the middle. So there'r 2 'brians'. my mom hadn't heard from her other brother Andrew in a long time. She had 2 other siblings Emma and Kristy who was actually her stepsister and the friend of Mallory.

At that moment Cherie walked into the room.

"hey," she said.

"hi," I greeted her.

She came over to my bed and kissed me.

"what happened?" she asked pulling up a chair.

"I got drunk last night you were there."

"oh yeah that's right."

Pansy and Lauren were looking at Cherie wondering who she was.

"oh this is my girlfriend Cherie from, the bar underage bar," I told them.

"Cherie these are my friends pansy and Lauren from school."

They exchanged introductions.

"so how are you now?" Cherie asked.

"um. Ok. Oh I have more news."

"yeah?"

"Kate has graft-vs.-host."

"which means that…..her body basically rejected annas blood."

"yeah. So were seeing if Evans a match."

"and if he's not?"

"then there's me and if not me. Wedinno."

"ill do it. I mean if there's a match."

I looked at her wide eyed.

"you would?"

"yeah I mean. of course why wouldn't I do that for you guys. Your family's a lot nicer than mine. Although your moms a bit standoffish."

"yeah she can be that way."

"and I mean. I wanna make you happy. And the rest of your family. After all you're my kitten."

"and you're my…..my….." I searched.

"im your cherry bomb babe," Cherie supplied.

I giggled; "oh god."

"that's right we got kitten and cherry bomb here. We could start a new band. No….no not after what happened w/ the last."

"ok."

"yeah ill tell my dad," I said.

I was so touched.

"im so touched," I told Cherie.


	117. Chapter 122

Evan

While we were waiting Rebecca took my hand and led me away from the group.

"hey," she whispered in my ear.

Her breath was warm.

"yeah?" I asked.

"ever made out in a hospital?"

"n- oh," I realised what she meant.

She took my hand and led me down the hall. Along the way she pushed me against the wall and kissed me.

"whoa wow hi," I said surprised by how fast she was going.

"mmm hello."

"whats gotten you all-?"

"I just figured you needed it."

"well youre right."

"cmon lets go find an empty room."

We continued down the hall.


	118. Chapter 123

**Aunt Kate**

Before the car accident, Karen's life had been centered around her work and their 13 year old daughter Kate, never having much time for the others. Jesse had named his daughters Kate and Anna after my sister Anna and I. Kate, his daughter, and I shared much more than the leukemia which had killed me and would eventually end up killing her; we had the same birthday, facial features. Both loved the color pink. Anna looked a lot like my own sister.

Jesse was close to all his children but he was very close with Kate and his only son Evan. They often talked about me. I knew Kate wished she'd met me. And Jesse wanted me to be alive.

-XXXX-

I'd died when Jesse was 23, Anna'd died a few years earlier. Both our deaths had been very hard on him. I was 21 and Anna was 19 when I died. She'd died in a freak car accident. I, of course, lost my battle to leukemia. Since I'd died our dad had started drinking heavily which eventually ended up killing him, as well. He'd died of alcohol poisoning a few years after I'd died. The only surviving members of our family were Mom, who was about 65 and Jesse, who was in his 40's. No one thought Id make it past 16 but I did, 5 years past. Since my death I'd seen where Jesse had gone with his life, what he'd done. He now made a living as an artist living with Karen, a friend of his from high school in a rather sizeable house in Connecticut. They had several children, 4 which they'd adopted, from Paris, London, Boston and Brooklyn. Once upon a time Jesse had been a cop and Karen had been a psychologist and they'd had 5 children. But over time their small family had grown. They'd adopted Marie and Rose because they hadn't had parents, Alexa and Ashley because tbeir homes weren't the best.

A few weeks ago while leaving for work, Karen had been in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. She'd hit her head pretty hard and had been rushed to the ER where the doctors had put her in a coma. Her girlfriend Pam had rushed to the hospital when she'd heard.

A few days ago Pam had called their friend Bobby, who they knew from school. She'd also called Leela, her older sister. Both of them had come to the hospital.


	119. Chapter 124

**Evan**

After id been at the hospital for a few hours I went downtown where I now was. Everyone else was back at the hospital. Yesterday Wednesday id driven louisas friend cherie to my parents. Shed been pretty cool.

It was later that same day. I was downtown in the big green park, smoking.

"Hey," a charming French accent said; "mind if I sit?"

I looked up and saw the sunlight behind Marie's dark head.

"No, not at all. Please, sit."

She sat down on the green grass beside me.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in forever," I crried.

"Mind if I light up?" she asked, gesturing with a pale slim hand at the small thin green and white carton of cigerettes on the grass.

"You don't smoke," I told her.

"Yeah that's what you think. Everyone lies or hadn't you heard?"

"Yeah I had, actually."

"You've just never seen me smoke. I smoked all the time back in Paris. My mother did. Everyone smokes there, Evan. Dad caught me once, blew a fukin gasket."

I laughed, shocked by her outright profanity. She was usually so docile and quiet.

"Well. You've certainly changed," I told her.

"Yeah, ya noticed. Now. Ya mind?" she repeated.

"No, go ahead," I handed her the catron.

"Thanks," she said, opening it and shaking a cigerette out.

She reached into her long black skirt and pulled out a small thin black lighter, then lit up, setting both the carton and the lighter on the grass.

She held the cigerette elegantly in her thin pale fingers and looked at me.

She was in a long black skirt and long sleeve black v neck sweater.

"Dad kicked me out did you know that?" she asked.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, he kicked me out."

"Why in the hell would he do that?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

She blew a smoke ring.

"And every day Pam tries to talk to me. Mom talks to me for an entire hour hoping I'll talk back. I never do. They treat me like I'm made of glass."

In all my years I don't think I have ever heard Marie talk this much.

"Yeah so I've been living down here with Lola. She's great. Pam thinks I still live there. So that's why you haven't seen me lately."

"Wow," I said, taken aback by all this.

"What, never knew I was such a talker? Well," she puffed out a white smoke ring; "I am."


	120. Chapter 125

**Lily**

When I got downtown it was already dark. I went into a bar and sat on a stool. It was crowded and smoke filled. Middle aged men and women sat on stools and chairs. The room was cold. I was here because I wanted to focus on something else besides Kate, Louisa and Amanda. Some people were talking and some weren't.

"Hi what can I - oh," the bartender said when he saw me.

"A sprite," I said.

I immediatly thought of Kate.

"Um. I can't serve you. You're-"

"17," I said, making him think I was 4 years closer to 21 instead of just 5: "and it's just sprite. It's nonalcoholic."

"You're not even supposed to be in here."

"Just let her have the drink," a woman said.

The bartender and I turned and looked at her. She was wearing all black. She had long black hair, white skin and blue eyes.

"She's not even supposed to be in here," the bartender told her.

"It's alrite. She's with me. She's my sister."

I had never seen her before in my life.

"What do you want honey?" the woman asked me.

-XXX-

"a sprite," I told the woman.

"ok one sprite please," she told the bartender.

"im sorry I cant serve you," he said.

"its just sprite," she protested.

"that's not the point miss."

"but-"

"you 2, out."

When we hadn't moved he said "do you want me to get the manager?"

"ok ok were going," the woman said.

We stood going outside.

"do you by any chance know someone by the name of jesse fitzgerald?" she asked me.

"yeah that's um. My dad," I told her wondering why.

"ok thanks. Will you be ok getting home?"

"yeah."

"ok well."

She left.

Although the truth was I wasn't planning on going home. I was planning on going to a bar that would let me have a drink.

I wandered around untill I found an underage bar that was open. I wandered in approached the row of bar stools and sat. I vaguely recognized the bartender. It she was Cherie Louisa's girlfriend.

"Hey," she said when she sensed me looking up, "what can I get ya?"

"Something light and fruity," I replied.

"Light as in color or…?"

"Either. And pretty."

She smiled; "pretty I can do. Ok one Malibu coming right up."

"You work here?"

I was surprised.

"Yeah I guess Louisa didn't tell you."

"Um. No."

"Well. I do."

"Oh. But she told me….you'd met at school…" I was confused.

"Oh she prolly didn't want to get in trouble for drinking underage. Lily right?" Cherie asked smiling again.

"Yeah and you're Cherie."

Thursday

Several drinks later…..

The bar was closed. It was the next day. Very early morning. I was in the bathroom vomiting. Cherie was in there w/ me holding my long dark hair back. The bathroom light seemed alarmingly blindingly bright. Too bright. I was squinting.

"I'm sorry about the light hun," Cherie apologised, "but it needs to be on and I don't want it to be off if you get sick on the floor and trip and fall."

"Ugh," was all I could manage.

"Here have some water."

"But I'll just-"

I was going to say that I'd just empty the water I'd sipper not seconds before.

"Yeah I know. But you need to get something in you besides alcohol so."

"Mmm."

"Drink."

She put a cup of water in front of me. I smiled when she said 'drink'.

She caught this; "the water Lily drink the water."

I giggled.

"What?"

"Water lily."

I drank a bit of the water.

"Good."

"Shit I'm really hot," I said managing to form a complete sentence.

She started unbuttoning my long white dress.

"No," I said.

"But you said you were hot."

"I can't and won't do that to you and um. Her."

I knew behind me Cherie was smiling; "your sister?"

"Yeah. Her."

"Ok."

She smoothed my hair back from my face. Her hand was cold.

"Mmm," I said.

"Better?"

"Well I mean I'm less hot. But."

I emptied my insides.

"Yes still sick I see."

I wondered if she did this a lot.

"You do this a lot?" I asked.

"Yeah. Well my mom's an alcoholic, so."

"Oh."


	121. Chapter 126

**Evan**

After marie and id talked we went our separate ways. I went back to the hospital where Rebecca and id gone back to my place and slept.

It was Tuesday. Rebecca and I were asleep in my bed.

"mmm," she said stretching next to me.

She climbed on top of me and climbed on top of me. She was light.

"morning love," she said kissing me awake.

"hi," I said holding her on me.

"what are your plans for today?"

"oh I don't know. Nothing yet. We could stay here."ok. This is so nice."

"yeah I know. You smell like you've just woken up."

She laughed; "prolly bc I have. Im so fat though."

"you're pregnant."

"there's a difference?"

"yes. Some people who are fat stay fat for years."

"Evan! that's not nice."

"you're right im sorry. And you're pregnant for only 4 more months. Unlike elephants. Their length of pregnancy is a year."

"oh god. But I like elephants."

"I didn't say it was bad. It just was. Er. Is."

"im so hungry."

"we have…oh you mean for me?" I said.

"mmhmm."

"for, sex then."

"yeah."

I turned and opened my nightstand drawer digging for condoms. I only found one packet.

"damnit I only have one," I said.

Rebecca smiled her eyes sparkling.

"I have one," she told me.

This surprised me.

"you do? Where?"

I wondered since she didn't have a purse or wallet with her.

"cmon where do you think?"

"uh…"

She reached into her long white dress and pulled out a condom packet.

"do you keep all your secrets inbetween your breasts?" I asked.

She laughed.

We kissed. As we did so she bit my lower lip. It was pretty hot.

"now in the words of Marvin Gaye…." I began.

"lets get it on," she finished.

I sputtered laughed; "Rebecca!"

"what? You want it too."

"you're usually such a lady."

"ok fine. Um."

She hesitated got off me.

"what?" I asked sitting.

"I don't want you to see me fat."

"pregnant," I corrected.

"ok fine pregnant."

"yeah I get it. But Rebecca ive seen you pregnant hundreds of times. You were a little bit pregnant the day we met. And honey, untill that baby comes out of you you'll stay. Um. Pregnant."

"oh thank you so much," she said annoyed.

"sorry."

"no you're right im just not feeling," - she sat up put her hand over her mouth - "oh god."

She stood ran into the bathroom. I went to the living room where I got sprite for her and brought it to the bathroom.

"babe I can dry clean the comforter if you get sick on it. Its fine," I told her giving her the sprite.

"I know but. I don't you have to do more."

She was just so sweet.

"can we do it in here? After im finished being sick that is. I mean it is pretty hot."

"sure. Just let me get the condoms."

"ok."

I left the room going back into the bathroom.

-XXX-

It was an hour later and Rebecca was finally finished being sick. We were in the bathroom. The door was closed. Wed prepared and were now lying naked on the floor.

"you ready?" I asked her.

"yes," she replied.

I shifted under her so that I was directly under her. Our hips moved against each others. We pushed against each other as close to each other as possible.

"I really want kids," she told me.

"you're already 4 months along," I said.

"no I mean w/ you."

"oh."

I was shocked by this admission which was shown by my moving have slowed.

"what you don't?" she asked surprised.

"no I…I do. I just. Was surprised."

"oh. Well what better time to tell you then now?"

"right. And isn't that why were doing this?"

My movements quickened.

"besides the basic primal need?" she said keeping up; "and. Guys may talk about sex more but women want it just as much."

"I know. You were the prostitute honey."'

Wow women really can multitask. She was talking and having sex at the same time.

"what?" she asked smiling.

"I was just thinking that you're talking and having sex at the same time therefore multitasking as women are known to do."

"so'r you. Should I not be?"

"no its fine. But I also like kissing."

"mmm me too."

We kissed as we moved.


	122. Chapter 127

**8 a.m.**

**Karen**

I was upstairs in my big white room, getting ready for the day. Jesse and Ashley were in the kitchen making breakfast. Amanda, Kate, Louisa and Anna were still at the hospital. Evan was somewhere. Pam was at her place. Hannah and Lily were downstairs. With 4 of my daughters at the hospital our family was slowly splitting apart.

"Lily!" I called, as I leaned forward into my mirror pushing a small sapphire earring into my earlobe.

There wasn't an answer.

"Lily!" I called, more demanding.

I heard Jesse and Ashley downstairs talking.

I walked out of my room carrying my black hairbrush in one hand. I walked down the narrow carpeted hall where I knocked on the wooden door of the room Lily and Rose shared.

"Lily it's time for breakfast," I said.

I waited a few minutes and then opened her door.

There she was on her purple carpet. She was in white as usual.

"Lily," I commanded.

She rolled over.

"Mom I...I...can't," she told me.

"Can't what?" I asked.

The words were barely out of her mouth before she vomited onto the large purple beach towel lying next to her.

"Lily, please don't tell me you have cancer too."

"No Mom."

I bent down and smelled her breath. It smelled like alcohol. Then stood back up.

"You're drunk. Go to school. I have to go to work," I told her and then went down the stairs.

"Jesse," I said, passing through the kitchen.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking at me.

"Can you handle that?" I asked, looking at the ceiling; "I have to go to work."


End file.
